If I ever try to talk to my dh about something I'm not happy with, he deflects it by bringing up something I did a while ago. It's frustrating as I and up feeling like I can't ever say anything bad as he just starts on at me and I feel like I have to apologise?
My whole family used to do it too. Why do people do it? It's so annoying. How do others cope? Grrr.
Yeah this is the worst! It back you into a corner where no matter what you’re annoyed it ‘its not as bad as that time you...’ blah blah blah. I agree with first reply, when he mentions it just agree and say ‘we’ve discussed this plenty of times but it is not the issuable point at the moment.’ Then proceed. Don’t feel like you have to constantly apologise though, if you’ve both ‘moved on’ Then he shouldn’t use it as ammunition and during a time where you’re both okay and it’s just normal just say to him that it hurts you for him to constantly bring it up because he’s forgiven you and it’s not fair to use it as his one and only example of shutting down your valid points. Good luck