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Not to want to buy gifts for friends children

(13 Posts)
rcat Tue 07-Nov-17 11:54:15

I’m a SAHM to 2 ds,my dh works long hours and we are have the odd treat but we do have a budget to stick to.A friend of mine has a ds slightly older than mine and we don’t see much of each other these days.

In previous years we have bought a gift for my friends son mainly because she buys for our two.I was going to just buy a selection box for her ds this year as both me and dh have large families and we struggle to buy for everyone at Xmas.

I got a message from her asking what would my ds like for Xmas,she mentioned lego and another expensive toy.Im now in a panic as I feel like we will then have to reciprocate.

AIBU to say we should just buy selection boxes this year?Shes a bit of a one upper and dh would probably feel out of pride we should stretch ourselves but I think we should stick to budget.

KinkyAfro Tue 07-Nov-17 11:55:27

Just say you're only doing family presents this year, if she persists tell her you can't afford it

Nannyplumbrocks Tue 07-Nov-17 11:56:23

Be straight. "Why dont we just do selection boxes this year friend, they get far too many toys"

Bluntness100 Tue 07-Nov-17 11:57:00

Difficult. I’d text her and say can we just stick to selection boxes this year, if you don’t mind, as we are on a budget.

She might buy though anyway. As it’s for your kids, and I’m not sure you can control that.

Bluntness100 Tue 07-Nov-17 11:58:42

Just say you're only doing family presents this year, if she persists tell her you can't afford it

That’s not really an answer to “what do your kids want for Xmas” though.

AppleTrayBake Tue 07-Nov-17 11:59:11

I would reply

"Thank you, but DS has so much at Xmas (v.large families on both sides!) and really doesn't need anything.
Maybe we could get together for a play date with the boys instead?"

I know it's cringey, but if you don't want to be trapped in this gift exchange I'd just do it!

PinkHeart5914 Tue 07-Nov-17 11:59:56

Just reply with “They get far too many toys, so I was thinking this year we would just do selection boxes”

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties Tue 07-Nov-17 12:03:09

Just reply saying you're on a really tight budget this year so can we just exchange small token gifts for the children? Please don't spend a lot.

She's asked you what your ds would like so you can give her the option of some small gifts; pens, stickers, etc. Certainly don't go with the expensive lego set she's suggesting!

I don't know how old her son is but there are some good stocking fillers in the Poundshop.. activity books, paints, story books which might make a suitable gift.

A good friend will understand.

MissCalamity Tue 07-Nov-17 12:49:02

I did this with my friend last month, she was asking what the kids wanted for Christmas & I just said to her "let's not get for the kids anymore, they get so much as we both have large families" also one of mine & both of hers all have winter birthdays so it's too much in a short space of time.
That was my last friend I still bought the kids Christmas presents & it's such a relief to cross two off the list!
She really didn't seem bothered at all smile

Sugarpiehoneyeye Tue 07-Nov-17 12:49:05

Most kids enjoy their own selection box, I'd definitely suggest you go down that road.😄

Awwlookatmybabyspider Tue 07-Nov-17 12:56:35

A selection box is fine.
I used to buy my friends dd clothes, toys sweets ect for Christmas, and She'd buy my dd a selection box. I understood. I had the money, she didn't.

2014newme Tue 07-Nov-17 12:59:38

If your dh pride insists he buys these children gifts, don't tell him about your reply to her. Just suggest to her you knock the gifts on the head.
I had a message from a friend who had lost her job suggesting we stop with Xmas presents I was relieved!

rcat Tue 07-Nov-17 20:08:00

Thanks all,I sent her a nice message suggesting a selection box and thanking her for the thought.i said the boys have lots of toys but thank you.

She messaged back asking if my ds would prefer clothes instead!I am going to have to insist on the selection box!

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