Flushing toilet at night...

[coconuttella]

There’s the saying: “if it’s yellow, let it mellow; if it’s brown, flush it down”.

I was brought up to do this at night time if I needed the toilet, to minimise disturbance to other family members. I always wonder about the etiquette of this when staying with others.... not something I do much, but maybe once or twice a year. AIBU to think I shouldn’t flush the loo at 3am for a wee, or is this gross. I’ve tended to flush in these situations as hadn’t wanted to be seen as mucky, but is this unnecessary?

[Cactusjelly00]

I flush everytime and at anytime, but I don't think it's dirty as such let alone gross I just don't want stains in my loo

[troodiedoo]

Flush during the day to determine noise level of flush. If the bathroom is next to someone's bedroom then discreetly ask if it's a night flushing household.

I tend to get up 2 or 3 times a night and I don't flush, but dh thinks that's a bit grim.

[Amatree]

I would always flush in someone else's home, no question. You don't know what their habits are and much better to risk disturbing them than them being disgusted to find you haven't flushed!

[Merida83]

Definitely flush! You're doing right. It's fine if you choose to not flush at home but unacceptable if staying with friends/relatives unless they specifically as you not to.

[UrsulaPandress]

I've just returned from staying with my brother. I discovered his sons don't flush during the night. Grim first thing in the morning.

[Vitalogy]

Yeah it is a dilemma isn't it. If possible I usually go by what the family/friends that own the house do.
I have one of those toilets that have a short and long flush, most of the time the short flush just swills the toilet sides down but doesn't make the big noise of the cistern filling which is handy. If in doubt though flush.

[acornsandnuts]

We don’t flush at night at home but always would in others houses.

[coconuttella]

As not flushing at night seems quite common practice, even if you didn’t do it in a home that generally did, would they be more likely to find it disgusting or just different? Personally, I don’t have a problem, but from reading threads on here, there’s a subset of people who seem hygiene obsessives whonim guessing would recoil from the idea of ever not flushing.

[hellofresh]

I don't flush at night at home, but do in other people's houses. At home I don't want to wake anyone. It also saves money as we are on a water meter.

[Urubu]

Always flush, especially with staying at someone elses or if you have guests!

[Usuallytootiredbuthappyanyway]

I have friend/family members who do not flush at night...I am totally fine with that in their home but one of them stays with me on a regular basis and doesn't flush during the night here. I find it so gross to encounter a bowl of his pee first thing in the morning! Being woken by the flush during the night doesn't bother me in the slightest. I think you need to adjust to the homeowners habits.

[Ansumpasty]

Same as most, I don't flush at night at home but always when staying with others.
My brother lived with us for a while and he must have hated it because I'd hear him get up, find my unflushed toilet, flush it, have a quick poo, try to flush flush again and the tank wasn't ready so I'd hear repeated flushing attempts.

I should have started flushing really but DS was the type of baby who would wake immediately.

[Urubu]

there’s a subset of people who seem hygiene obsessives whonim guessing would recoil from the idea of ever not flushing
I don't want to see or smell other people's urine first thing in the morning. I woukdn't call it being hygiene obsessive.....

[Caulk]

I always flush. I think it’s habit though rather than being obsessive about hygiene!

If I’m staying somewhere I tend to say “shall I flush the toilet at night or will it wake everyone up?” And then do what they say. I tend to stay at friends a lot and every house is different

[MagicTapeDispenser]

My former MIL told me (in front of an entire family gathering) in no uncertain terms that flushing during the night was not the done thing and I was not to do it again as it had disturbed her.

This was after the very first night I’d stayed in her home and I’d deliberated the matter with her son, my then fiancé, who’d said I should do whatever I felt appropriate.

After 13 years of similar levels of hostility from her and many, many incidents where she tried to break our marriage, we went no contact in 2014 and I’ve been happily flushing at night ever since!

[Jengnr]

I’m not a hygiene obsessive by any stretch but unflushed toilets are vile.

Just flush. It’s not that loud.

[newmumwithquestions]

Always flush unless told otherwise!

Personally we don't flush at night unless we have a guest, when we do out of courtesy to them. However pre lightly sleeping kids I always flushed and would have thought it hideous to come across mellowing pee.

[LittleCandle]

When I was a kid, nobody flushed during the night. On the rare occasions when I was first up, it was pretty rank to be faced with a bowl full of pee first thing. If I'm up now, I flush. If someone else is up in the night, I would hear them moving about anyway, so that doesn't bother me. I always flush when I am at someone else's house.

[ZoopDragon]

Ask the hosts, every family is different. Or use the downstairs loo?

[Shoxfordian]

Just flush the toilet!

[justilou1]

As someone who has been "blessed" with the nostrils of a bloodhound, please flush it. The scent seems to concentrate overnight and tbh, I would rather encounter a turd than overnight pee.

[faitch]

If we night pee, we put the toilet roll on the closed seat, so the first riser of the morning knows to flush it before going themselves.

[faitch]

But in anyone else’s house I check beforehand. Not that I ever stay elsewhere...

[WhirlwindHugs]

Always flush. I think this is a norm, and if people have don't flush at night issues they'll tell you. Like the 'BTW, we have a sceptic tank' greeting you get at some houses!