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AIBU?

To wonder why she's thinking of home schooling?

71 replies

SharkiraSharkira · 06/11/2017 20:53

I am not wishing to sound judgemental or critical because I think that for some children/parents home schooling can be very beneficial!

I'm just trying to get some perspective from others who have more experience with it. Reason being is that dss' mum has recently asked dp about home schooling dss. He doesn't really know much about it either way but from what I do know I would think dss is better off in school for the following reasons:

He is a very sociable child with lots of friends at school. If he was at home he would have very limited opportunities to interact with his peers

He is doing well academically, and has no trouble with bullies or anything similar

Dss' mum works part time but has multiple health issues and somewhat limited mobility.

It seems to be that there would be no real benefit to taking him out of school and that she might struggle to keep him stimulated and challenged given her health issues and it might be too much for her to manage. I mean that kindly.

But I'll be honest and say I don't have any experience of it. Aibu to think it's a bad idea?

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Toffeelatteplease · 06/11/2017 20:55

Have you asked her? Benefits differ from child to child

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newtlover · 06/11/2017 20:58

Is DSS resident with you and DP or with his mum?
You can only ask really why she thinks its a good idea.

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Witsender · 06/11/2017 20:59

As above. It is far from the easy option so I tend to assume a parent has a good reason to consider it. Even 'sociable' children can enjoy it.

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Lucked · 06/11/2017 21:01

How old is DSS is he old enough to understand and give an opinion?

Has the mum given a reason?

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SharkiraSharkira · 06/11/2017 21:02

I don't want to seem like I'm interfering because it is for his parents to decide and not really any of my business but from my, albeit limited knowledge, most parents seem to consider home schooling because of either;

Bullying
Difficulties socially
Special needs not being managed effectively
Child generally unhappy
Religious beliefs
Not progressing academically

There probably are other reasons I just don't know them! None of the above apply to dss though.

I'm just trying to help dp make the decision that is best for dss.

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Witsender · 06/11/2017 21:03

I know a lot of home educators, and many have nine of those reasons tbh. For many it is a positive, proactive choice and not in reaction to a negative experience of school, if you see what I mean

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SharkiraSharkira · 06/11/2017 21:05

Dss is yr5 so definitely old enough to have an opinion. I don't want to ask him directly yet as I'm not sure if she has mentioned it to him.

We don't really speak (me and dss' mum) and I don't think she would want to discuss it with me.

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Toffeelatteplease · 06/11/2017 21:05

You think none of those apply to DSS. Does his mum agree. That's why first point of call should be what does she think the benefits are.

Some kids just find it an awesome way of learning.

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SharkiraSharkira · 06/11/2017 21:05

Fair enough wit, why do they feel it is the best opinion in that case?

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Toffeelatteplease · 06/11/2017 21:06

Your DH/P should be the one doing the asking

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SharkiraSharkira · 06/11/2017 21:07

^option not opinion!

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SharkiraSharkira · 06/11/2017 21:09

Well I know they aren't religious toffee. I've seen his school reports so I know the rest doesn't apply to him either. He is doing very well and is happy.

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MrsOverTheRoad · 06/11/2017 21:11

She might be worried about local secondary school options OP. Are they particularly crappy?

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Bunnychopz · 06/11/2017 21:13

Your first point is incorrect. Homeschoolers are very social. You just need to join a local face book page to see what they get up to!!

Point 2. Homeschooled children on average achieve much better grades then state school educated kids.

Point 3. Have you asked her why she wants to Home school? What does DSS want?

Point 4. How will HE be financed? What is the outlay? What are the hidden costs?

Point 5. Homeschooling us a lifestyle choice in my area. It often goes hand in hand with other things.

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TittyGolightly · 06/11/2017 21:13

He is a very sociable child with lots of friends at school. If he was at home he would have very limited opportunities to interact with his peers

You know Home educators are allowed out of the house, right? My friend’s HE 7 year old’s social circle is about 5 times that of my schooled 7 year old.

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ownedbySWD · 06/11/2017 21:16

Most of the home edders I know have deep philosophical reasons for choosing to home educate. A lot of them have never sent their children to school.

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lovelyjubilly · 06/11/2017 21:16

Maybe homeschooling fits more with her educational philosophy. Maybe her boy is bright and she sees the benefits of letting him pursue his interests in a more free way than the rigidity of the classroom allows.

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SharkiraSharkira · 06/11/2017 21:21

Yes, obviously he won't be chained to the house! But we live in a rural area so I know that there are less opportunities to meet up with others. I actually did look into HE myself at one point.

As I pointed out in a PP, dss' mum also has mobility and health issues as well as a younger child to look after so they are a bit limited as to the activities they could do.

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SharkiraSharkira · 06/11/2017 21:22

That is definitely possible lovely.

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ElizabethDarcey · 06/11/2017 21:25

I agree with you OP. Encourage your partner to think carefully about whether this is being done in the best interests of the child or the mother.

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Uptheduffy · 06/11/2017 21:27

Maybe it's about the younger child then. Maybe she wants to give up work.

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gillybeanz · 06/11/2017 21:29

Your dh needs to do his homework and research Home education.
read some books and articles, contact any local groups etc.

If you are in the UK it's called Home ed, so as not to get mixed up with unschooling and the fact that H.ed doesn't resemble school.

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mumisnotmyname · 06/11/2017 21:30

There must some reason why she is thinking of this as requires effort to set up. What has she said her reasons are? What does dss think about it if it have been discussed with him?

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LostForNow · 06/11/2017 21:30

Can she just not be arsed with the school run?

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Toffeelatteplease · 06/11/2017 21:31

The point isn't at this stage what you think it's finding out why she's suggesting in the first place!

She may disagree with you on one of the above points or there may be ajolly good reason you haven't thought of. But it's hard to frame and argument for or against without knowing all the factors

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