Bloody hell - Santa blackmail.......

[MintyChops]

So last year my eldest son (then 7) said he wasn’t totally sure that Santa was real so I put a packet of chewing gum in his stocking as we don’t allow it and “only Santa” would have done this. He was thrilled, said he knew now that Santa is real, relished his chewing gum, faith restored and I thought how clever I had been.

Too bloody clever as it turns out. He has now announced that he is having his Santa doubts again, thinks it is just me and his dad and that when he writes to Santa this year he is only going to ask for one thing. A PlayStation. I really, really do not want to get one for all sorts of reasons, too expensive/yet another screen to try to keep him off/ he is only 8/ something to fight over with his little brothers, etc but what the hell do I do?

I have asked a few friends and all bar one have said that they think we should get it and enjoy how thrilled he will be. The one who thought we shouldn’t get it had no helpful advice on how to not get it without confirming Santa’s non-existence, he just objected to the blackmail-style of it. So, AIBU to not get it and if not, how do I get out of it without him feeling Santa isn’t real?

[HighwayDragon1]

Money - DD is allowed to ask Santa for 3 things with a maximum price tag of £50 per item. I did this because she (aged 4) asked why certain people have less at Christmas. We said Santa can't afford to get our make everything that expensive.

[PandasRock]

I don’t have much advice I’m afraid.

When dd2 had all but worked it out, she too set Father Christmas a ‘task’. She wanted a particular type of toy, which she hadn’t ever seen before. I did a lot of preparation with her, about how you don’t always get exactly what you want in your stocking, how lists for Dather Christmas are just a guide, etc.

And then I made the toy she wanted (was a soft toy thing).

She was absolutely gobsmacked on Christmas Day, and really couldn’t believe her eyes.

And then she asked me in early January because it was bothering her how ‘Father Christmas’ had managed it! I told her the truth, because she needed to know - she’d asked for an unachievable toy as a way to ‘find out’ the truth, and was more bothered when I managed to supposedly confirm the existence of what she was trying to disprove.

It was all fine. She actually loved that I’d gone to the trouble of trying to solve it for her (and also loves the toy); she couldn’t believe I’d gone to those lengths to try to get her what she wanted. The personal effort meant much more to her than the Father Christmas story.

If you think your ds is pushing his luck, then talk to him. Life isn’t over once the know the truth about Father Christmas.

[theymademejoin]

We always told ours santa would never give a present their parents disapproved of. You could adapt in to Santa not giving a main present parents disapprove of.

[MintyChops]

What is they Santa PSP thing Miracle? He doesn’t have a list you see, well it’s a list of one thing. I really don’t think he knows Trojans, I do like the idea of telling him that Santa checked about the chewing gum but I worry about more questions.

[MintyChops]

The main present thing might work theymademe. How old was your DD Panda? Out of interest, would anyone just get it? That’s what my DH wants to do......

[YellowMakesMeSmile]

At 8 he's old enough to know Santa doesn't exist and very likely does know from school friends etc.

Whether or not you get the gift is upto you but if you decide not to then just tell him the truth rather than a story.

[Mamabear4180]

You don't prove santa doesn't exist by not having what exactly you want! That's crazy! Santa lists are just ideas for santa that's all. I'd just tell him that and stop fretting about whether he believes or not otherwise next year it will be a mansion in LA or something daft!

[YellowMakesMeSmile]

Yes, I'd get it. We have always granted Christmas requests as it's once a year and they are only children for a short time.

[Nikephorus]

And when he's 18 he'll only believe in Santa if he gets a brand new sports car.... He's got you sussed OP!

[ZoeWashburne]

He 100% knows Santa is not real.

I would just say ‘you can only put one things, but that’s very expensive, so if Santa can’t get that for you, you will be stuck with what he thinks you want. Only putting one thing doesn’t guarantee Santa will get it for you.’

[GothAndTired]

There is no way he thinks Santa is real.

[Quartz2208]

he knows. its around the right age so just accept he knows and hope he follows for the others

[Theresnonamesleft]

He knows. Of course he knows. They have access to internet.
Quick google - is Santa real tells them everything they need to know.
Same with elf on a shelf etc.

[DressedCrab]

It's a very rare 8 year old who still genuinely believes. Playground gossip usually disillisions them around age 7.

[theSnuffster]

My 8 year old doesn't believe. He seemed doubtful last year but I managed to dodge the whole thing. It's fine (although a little sad!) that he doesn't believe- my main issue is making sure he doesn't reveal all to his little sister or to other children. By the time I no longer believed, I also knew I should keep the magic up for my brother etc. My son won't do that, he has no concept of other people's feelings/ emotions (as part of ADHD and other social and emotional developmental delay.)

I'm swaying between coming up with a way to try to convince him that he's real....some sort of extra special gift wrapped elaborately.... Or telling him the truth but begging or bribing him to keep it a secret from his 5 year old sister.

[PandasRock]

She was 8, Minty.

I wouldn’t be persuaded to get something I isn’t want in the house, just to perpetuate a story a dc is close to finding out about.

[BenLui]

Come on! You can’t seriously be considering allowing yourself to be manipulated by an 8yo?

[PandasRock]

And for those worried about dc in the know telling others - dd2 has ASD. She takes her ‘helper’ stays seriously, and does her best not to drop too many clangers when her brother and sister are about. (dd1 is 13, with learning difficulties and severe autism, and still believes; ds is 5, and this is probably his last year believing given he questions and researched everything!)

[FlouncyDoves]

Just give one piece of coal. And say that he must have been a bad boy this year. That should confirm that Santa is real. Meanwhile, you can get a present for under the tree from you and his father.

[gamerwidow]

My DD(7) knows that Santa doesn’t do electronics the elves have never learnt to do the wiring.

[brasty]

He is obviously playing you.

[Mamabear4180]

You don't have to tell kids 'the truth' just because you think/they say they don't believe. I never have and my eldest is 14 and has asked me a few times. I just tease her a bit but never give in, she laughs and says 'I know he's not real mummy' but there was a time between around 8-11 where I could not have known what she truly believed and didn't want to spoil it for her. Besides, there is also a grey area anyway called 'the suspension of belief' where they know but don't really want to know.

[TittyGolightly]

What a tangled web we [you] weave........