Sorry this is long but I need to vent here or I may do or say something I might regret!
!My DD has been having problems on the school bus since beginning of new term with a girl who lives near us.
Unfortunately they do not have a chaperone on this bus so it sounds like a free-for-all by all accounts with some choice language being spouted most of the time.
However one girl has targeted my DD and another girl - none of whom knew each other before September. She had been slapped in the face more than once, had her hair pulled, her bag tipped all over the floor and then there's the swearing and general intimidating behaviour.
This girl has family problems to say the least but I cannot have my DD being the scapegoat for whatever problems they have.
I have spoken to her guardian - as I'd met her briefly and knew where thy lived - and this girl cried a lot of crocodile tears and a lot of excuses were thrown into the mix (by both girl and her guardian). None of which matter to me tbh.
I thought we had resolved it after a fashion yet first day back after half term today and it's as if that conversation never happened.
She is a very articulate girl and appears manipulative of adults around her. She actually said to one of the other girls "you know I have lots of problems" FFS!
My first instinct is to charge round there again but now I've written it all out I think I'll be speaking to school tomorrow instead.
AIBU to expect them to deal with this despite it being on the bus and not in school?
AIBU?
11 year old being bullied on school bus
lifesaverormassmurderer · 06/11/2017 17:03
You'll probably find that those who do martial arts, or have done martial arts in the past, will be the ones who are more likely to have respect for your DD. This will generally be due to the discipline instilled while they were training.
If your DD learns how to focus on the techniques used in MA, and if executed well, she'll not need much force to make the bully/bullies back down quickly. She'll likely make friends at the club too, and maybe she'll find that a few of them possibly go to the same school. That would be better for her as they will probably have her back if the bullies start on her.
I'm using Jujitsu as an example as I go to our local club, as does DS. I go 3 times a week and DS usually goes the same, although his school pays our sensei to teach JJ as one of the after school clubs. DS, if bored and up to date with all his homework, has been known to go to as many classes as there are available, and after the incident with the last bully, no-one tends to mess with him now.
It may well be worth while investing in focus pads for boxing, as well as a pair of gloves (MMA gel gloves, are good as the fingers are free to open water bottles without taking them off IYSWIM). I have a thai pad for the roundhouse kick practice, gloves, shin guards and focus pads.
As DS and I are at the same club, and we're at the same level, so we can train in many of the same techniques.
It may help your DD's confidence, especially if she learns how to focus on executing the techniques she has learned. A number of things she needs to be aware of and learn are:
- Never underestimate your opponent.
- Practice slowly. This helps with muscle memory and therefore better technique execution.
- Use the technique appropriate to the attack. Eg, the bully throws a punch, your DD blocks it, then your DD pushes the bully hard and runs away. If the bully has a weapon, a cross-block would be more appropriate for protection and disarming them, with a view to either a subsequent shoulder lock or some type of wrist throw.
- Practice strength execution. This helps your DD understand, from her perspective, what constitutes a light kick/punch etc from a hard one. Strength execution is relative to the person's individual strength. The stronger the person, the harder their 'light' kicks/punches/elbows/knees will be to their opponent IYSWIM.
- Use the force proportionate to the attack. Eg, dislocating a wrist/elbow/shoulder because the opponent pulled your hair is disproportionate to the level of attack. A simple kick to the thigh, then a hard shove then run is appropriate.
Lastly, make sure your DD knows the law surrounding self defence (I've already linked the CPS website on the pre-emptive strike). The more she knows, the more she will know what moves are appropriate to use in any given situation.
One thing to be aware of is this: should your DD push the bully and the bully falls backward and is knocked unconscious, your DD could be in serious trouble. Always ensure your DD knows to have friends with her at all times. Or at least try to be in public. That way, if anything happens, there should be witnesses willing to back her up.
I hope you your DD can get this sorted quickly. The bully is using her problems at home, as an excuse for bad behaviour. Plenty of children come from dysfunctional/neglectful homes, but they can behave as good as gold.
I can't really think of anything else to add, but I wanted to give an idea of my experience with bullies.
I hope you and your DD get this situation sorted soon
I would go zero tolerance and start to track everything in writing
Do not telephone do everything in writing and get very legal and scary
The girl needs to be told loud and clear that this behaviour will not be tolerated and there will be consequences . And clearly she hasn't received that message yet
In parallel you do need to safeguard your DD and I would questions whether short term the bus can be stopped ?
The message clearly hadn't gotten through yet -keep shouting 
And I would not even speak to guardians
Fuck them right off . You do NOT have to engage
The apple doesn't fall far does it 
Stop I am taking and picking up now although tomorrow morning might be tricky with work etc.
Care love the image of flute-whacking!
I did tell her a few weeks ago that if she hits her again to hit her back as hard as she could. When it happened though she said she just couldn't. She's never been someone who would lash out physically.
I'm really hoping that this will pull her up short now but we shall see. I asked DD to text me at lunchtime but she hasn't so I'm choosing to take that as a positive.
My DD told me that this girl purposely knocked another girl's lunch out of her hands in the canteen yesterday. When the girl said 'you'd better pay for that' she just laughed and walked away. Unfortunately though no-one reported it. Another girl lent her some money to buy another lunch 
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