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To ask how you react when your child wants the other parent/caregiver

(11 Posts)
Rebeccaslicker Mon 06-Nov-17 15:36:52

Urgh!! My DP is a SAHD and at the moment DD(2) only wants her daddy. She's unwell with a cold right now, but still if I go near her, I get, "no no DADDY" or just crying until I go away again.

Normally she has an understandable preference for him, but is still very loving with me. However, over the past couple of weeks she has really made me feel unloved!!

I work very long hours so I do struggle to get home to see her much before bed but I manage it most nights of the week and I'm there at weekends. I try to be fun and get her to respond by playing games and chatting but it's just not working at the moment.

I know I'm the adult and I know the reasons why, but it still hurts and makes me feel like a shit mum for being the working parent.

Any ideas on how to get over myself and be more appealing to her??

RavingRoo Mon 06-Nov-17 15:41:20

Kids go through phases. She might be going through a dad phase at the moment. Just be there for her, make time to do one on one stuff with her, and provided you are doing some parenting in the week she should grow closer to you. Don’t expect it to be on the same level as her dad though.

Herewegoagain01 Mon 06-Nov-17 17:28:33

I don’t think you can just ‘be more appealing’. It’s natural for children to be closer to one parent for comfort. Unfortunately for you, as she is ill, it’s her dad that she wants. My dd was always very clingy with me, and my dh rarely got a look in, but as she got older she became a lot closer to him. It’s nothing you are doing wrong, and not something you should fight against. But like the pp said, just by being there for her she will grow closer to you over time.

Twodogsandahooch Mon 06-Nov-17 17:30:55

I honestly used to make the most of it. DD2 has always been a ‘daddy’s girl’. Got me out of a lot of stinky nappy changes and bottom wiping.

Oysterbabe Mon 06-Nov-17 17:35:25

I give a little internal cheer and make a cup of tea <helpful>

Honestly it changes all the time, you'll be flavour of the month again soon.

lionsleepstonight Mon 06-Nov-17 17:36:11

Toddle off and enjoy the peace!

Honestly, she will go though swings and roundabouts. She'll also sense your desperation and cling to dp even more (joke).

Introvertedbuthappy Mon 06-Nov-17 17:36:38

Get DH to show how much he loves you. My DS1 is and always has been a Daddy's boy. In a situation like that DH would say, well I love your Mummy and give me a big hug. He would alsi do lots of family cuddles and make a game out of carrying DS round on his hip 'chasing me' and when caught I'd get a cuddle. Despite the resolute 'no Mummy!' this game always got DS laughing.

BendingSpoons Mon 06-Nov-17 17:36:46

I don't think it's necessarily because you are the working parent, so try not to feel guilty about that! Children just have preferences at times. Whilst it can be upsetting, try to see the positives; she loves her daddy, she wants daddy to get up to her at night grin Also have a chat with your DP (when she is better) about how you respond e.g. him not taking over if she asks for him or involving you.

Minesril Mon 06-Nov-17 18:33:04

I curl up on the sofa and MN

GhostCurry Mon 06-Nov-17 18:34:43

I breathe a sigh of relief.

Seriously. Enjoy the peace.

Rebeccaslicker Mon 06-Nov-17 20:15:37

Thanks all - this all helps a lot. I will relax and not sulk!!!

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