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To think to ask a 4 year old if they're flirty, is inappropriate?

(25 Posts)
Thumperstopthumping Mon 06-Nov-17 14:25:28

So I've seen on Twitter there is a bit of commotion, over 2 four year olds that are appearing on the new series of Secret life of 4, 5 (and 6 year olds?)
I've just watched the clip that they're in, and Holly says 'you two are quite flirty with the girls' and one of the mum's describes her son as boisterous and a 'lady's man' hmm
Aibu to think that it's not appropriate to label a 4 year old as flirty?

Thumperstopthumping Mon 06-Nov-17 14:28:32

Sorry should have re read, it was on 'This Morning' with Holly and Phil. Discussing the new series, with 2 of the four year olds and their mums.


DunkMeInTomatoSoup Mon 06-Nov-17 14:30:53

'flirtation' is a societal behaviour characteristic. Not all 'flirtacious' behaviur is sexual.

CorbynsBumFlannel Mon 06-Nov-17 14:32:49

I agree it's weird. Also don't like adults who do the whole 'have you got a girlfriend?' thing when the child isn't old enough to know it's any different from having a friend who is a girl.

pinkliqourice Mon 06-Nov-17 14:34:59

Nothing wrong with it.
Both my 4 year old and his father have naturally very flirtatious personality’s but it is playful and friendly rather than sexual.
Seeing words applied to children as inappropriate and sexual is unreasonable though.

KinkyAfro Mon 06-Nov-17 14:36:15

Bit weird but my 'friend' tells her daughter that she's sexy which actually turns my stomach

Thumperstopthumping Mon 06-Nov-17 14:36:54

I'm sorry he had just been described by his mum as a lady's man, and then the flirty comment.
I'm afraid, I believe it was in a sexual context.

ferrier Mon 06-Nov-17 14:39:39

behave as though sexually attracted to someone, but playfully rather than with serious intentions.
"she began to tease him, flirting with other men in front of him"
synonyms:trifle with, toy with, tease, lead on, philander with, dally with, make romantic advances to, court, woo, vamp

pinkliqourice Mon 06-Nov-17 14:40:39

I would call my 4 year old a flirt or a bit of a lady’s boy.
Not sexual, he doesn’t even know what sex or being sexual means.

DunkMeInTomatoSoup Mon 06-Nov-17 14:42:09

If we are pasting dictionary definitions rather than the etemology and usage of the word:

verb (used without object)
to court triflingly or act amorously without serious intentions; play at love; coquet.

PrivateParkin Mon 06-Nov-17 14:46:19

Also don't like adults who do the whole 'have you got a girlfriend?' thing
Yes Corbyn agree - I hate this too. My BIL does it - drives me nuts. Let kids be kids!!

Thumperstopthumping Mon 06-Nov-17 14:47:47

fair enough pink
I wouldn't refer to my children as a lady's man, but I also wouldn't use boys boy, girly girl, etc.

MoistCantaloupe Mon 06-Nov-17 14:50:10

KinkyAfro Urgh, just reading that turned mine! How old is her daughter? That is hideous.

WhatwouldAryado Mon 06-Nov-17 14:51:08

Yah. I hate it when adults ask (generally bemused) young children about girl friends or boyfriends. It puts me in mind of 6 year olds thinking two children are "in love" because they play together. Basically very immature adults.

gateto Mon 06-Nov-17 23:00:17

I find it very odd. I know flirty doesn't always mean in a sexual way but it still feels very wrong when it comes to children!

And as for the ladies man etc, makes my blood boil! when i was younger I was asked constantly by adults 'do you have a boyfriend?' every boy i spent time with was queried.

I came out as gay in my late teens, but if it wasn't for that odd, relentless pressure and questioning about the opposite sex it would probably have been a lot sooner ha!

EvilDoctorBallerinaRoastDuck Mon 06-Nov-17 23:02:55

Very small children seem to be naturally flirty with the opposite sex. DS2 and DD2 both did it.

Thumperstopthumping Tue 07-Nov-17 00:17:30

EvilDoctor I'm not disputing natural fondness for the opposite gender, but should it be labelled as flirting, when it comes to children?

Funny because my son is probably as 'flirty' to his best male friend, as he is to his girl friends. Yet that doesn't get labelled as flirty, that gets called 'cheeky'.

NewPapaGuinea Tue 07-Nov-17 08:56:15

I would take it as a tongue in cheek comment.

nowt Tue 07-Nov-17 09:03:00

I would call my 4 year old a flirt or a bit of a lady’s boy.
Not sexual, he doesn’t even know what sex or being sexual means.

Of course his behaviour isn’t sexual, the issue here is the adult’s interpretation of the behaviour. A four-year-old is not flirting in any normal sense of the word. Everyone knows what a ‘lady’s man’ is, why would you use a related term for your son?

gateto Tue 07-Nov-17 12:07:51

OP you're absolutely right, the same behaviour with the same sex is thought of completely differently, like a great friendship. boys and girls should be thought of in the same way

Lethaldrizzle Tue 07-Nov-17 12:11:49

I've never flirted in a non sexual way. Not that I've ever been a big flirter.

SleepFreeZone Tue 07-Nov-17 12:21:08

My four year old seems to have got himself a girlfriend. They hold hands and she drapes her arm around him while they're sitting down. To be honest I not best pleased but he looks like the cat that's got the cream so I'm just ignoring it.

I can remember having crushes on little boys when I was the same age 😬

Theresamayscough Tue 07-Nov-17 12:44:17

sleep will we see future mil threads about you from this arm draping minx? grin

Agree op I don’t like it and hate adults asking children about boyfriends/girlfriends or calling children sexy or flirty it’s yeuk.

Littleraincloud Tue 07-Nov-17 12:51:54

I don't like it, a kid in my dc's y1 class gave Valentine's gifts to all the girls- it really annoyed me

IFellDownAHole Tue 07-Nov-17 13:09:35

I call my 20 month old a little flirt. I mean it as he is confident and knows going up to grown ups (male and female), smiling and waving at them makes them react positively to him. He likes to make people like him.

That’s all I’d mean by it. I wouldn’t call him a ladies man though, that’s a bit odd but not really enough to give a second thought about.

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