To think this wedding reception was cheeky?

[NoCakeReception]

A couple DP knows got married recently, in the Caribbean at quite short notice. No friends or family went but they had a joint ceremony with some friends. Photos looked beautiful, really hot and idyllic. They've been together years and everyone was very happy for them, sent congratulations on Facebook etc.

When they got back, we received a very formal A5 invite to the joint wedding reception, to be held this Saturday. Much was made of speeches, dress code, strict RSVP etc. "Gifts / money a bonus!" said the invite. Great, we thought. I've only met them a few times but DP used to be close to the groom so we thought it'd be fun.

So we dressed up in the specific style requested, put £50 in a nice card (we're not well off), and went along. It turned out to just be in a pub, not even a sectioned off area, so we were all hugely overdressed. It was very busy. The brides were in wedding dresses shouting at the other pub-goers for talking over the speeches. There was no buffet, no champagne for the toasts, no money behind the bar. The wedding cakes were on display, but they didn't cut them, so we didn't get any. The groom didn't even speak to us, though the bride said hello and thanks for the card. So basically we spent a few hours awkwardly standing in a crowded pub, hungry and overdressed, to give them some cash.

AIBU to think this is cheeky?

[2014newme]

It's dreadful. What a bizarre event.
When you say 'much was made' what do you mean?
Did you manage to get your cars back and get the £50 out!

[KC225]

Very cheeky.

[AJPTaylor]

Blimey. Yanbu at all
What a scam.

[HouseworkIsASin10]

Yep. Sounds like they had a quick 'party' to gain some wedding presents/cash.

[AJPTaylor]

Who was the other bride?

[Bubblebubblepop]

Oh no. I feel quite sorry for them. Some people are really not very good at planning events (which is hard! I struggle) and I think when you choose to have a wedding like this it is tough. It sounds like they wanted a celebration but didn't want to spend any money and seriously misjudged it

I went to a terrible wedding last year- the bride is really tight and just didn't want to pay for anything, but wanted to make a big deal out of getting married. It just didn't work at all.

[PuppyMonkey]

Cancel the cheque

[Maplestaple]

That sounds shit, I mean it would have been ok if there wasn't a dress code and a money request.

I'd have taken my card back and removed the money.

[TheCatsMother99]

I'd have taken the card back (or not given it as soon as I walked in the pub and realised).

[NoCakeReception]

When I say 'much was made' I mean it was a very formal, embossed invitation. It wasn't like they just sent a note saying "hey, come to the pub for a few drinks to celebrate us getting married!" iyswim!

[MargaretCavendish]

It sounds like they wanted a celebration but didn't want to spend any money and seriously misjudged it

I think I'd agree about the dress code, but the asking for gifts was outrightly unacceptable. If it had been a 'strictly no gifts' and just a lot more informal than OP was expecting I'd still have thought it could have been handled better, but I'd think of it more as miscommunication. Taking gifts for a party on which you spent no money is not miscommunication, it's seriously cheeky!

[Bananalanacake]

I love reading these cheeky fucker stories but I don't know any myself.

[Bubblebubblepop]

That's what my friend did bless her. It started all big until she obviously realised she didn't want to spend the money on big invites etc... she had every person she knew providing something- people made some of the food, the hairdresser was a favour, the cake was a favour- there was no one to co-ordinate it all which is what you pay for with a wedding co-ordinator. I don't think is sinsister just tight. I mean you should feel a bit sorry for them really, they had a crap wedding.

[PinkHeart5914]

Some people really just don’t know how to plan stuff, I’ve been to a few weddings over the years where bride & groom obviously couldn’t plan to save there lives.

So they just walked in to a pub in full wedding dresses with the wedding cake and they hadn’t even hired a certain amount of the pub or paid for so much as a bowl of nuts? 😂 well at least it will be always be remembered by you all.... for the wrong reasons!

[coddiwomple]

it sounds horrible, but you shouldn't feel bad about "only" £50, that's very generous and more than acceptable.
Sometimes I give more, sometimes less, but I can't see anything wrong at all with £50!

[Justbookedasummmerholiday]

When is your /dh birthday? Sounds like a canny cf trick you could try!!

[SilverSpot]

Ha ha that is amazing! Can't believe they didn't even book a private room and do a buffet!

[MrsOverTheRoad]

Bubble no...they didn't have a crap wedding! Their actual wedding was in the Carribean! This was just the "UK reception"

[NoCakeReception]

It was a joint reception, two brides and two grooms (we don't know the other couple).

I did feel bad about only putting £50 in at the time but I don't now!

The couple both posted on FB the next day saying what a good time they had and thanks for the cards/money/gifts.

[Awwlookatmybabyspider]

Cheeky!!!!. Its down right fucking brazen.
How dare they expect Joe public to shut up and salute to them. When they're in a pub to enjoy themselves. I bet a lot of them were regulars. The should have hired a private hall. Instead of a corner in a pub. Oh and don't anyone pull the " but they mightn't have had the money card.
If they can afford to go and get married in the Carribean. They can afford to hire a community centre Hall.
I'm afraid the world doesn't stop for a blusing bride and groom.

[Awwlookatmybabyspider]

Also please do not refer to your gift as "only £50". There's nothing only about it. Some poor people don't get much more than that a week a live on.

[MiniAlphaBravo]

Wow that sounds terrible more thank cheeky, awful!

[RhiannonOHara]

I did feel bad about only putting £50 in at the time but I don't now!

You really mustn't. I think that's very generous, before you even take into account that it was a shit 'party' and it doesn't sound as if you even know them that well.

For context, my nephew got married recently. We're not particularly close but obviously he's family. The wedding and party were gorgeous and very generous with regards to food and drink. I gave him £75. I am not badly off compared to many, but TBH he and his wife are probably better off than me. That was what I could afford and I feel totally OK about it.

[onalongsabbatical]

@PuppyMonkey you beat me to it!!

[NoCakeReception]

The pub wasn't serving food but there was a restaurant next door that a few people went to (reception started at 7pm so not much time to eat beforehand). DP and I, being somewhat poor at present and having already spent about £75 on present and a couple of drinks, couldn't justify a restaurant meal so we left at 9pm and bought some chips for the drive home...