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To exclude some guests from part of DDs birthday celebration?

(215 Posts)
RogerThatOver Sun 05-Nov-17 22:40:54

DD wants to have a laser tag party for her birthday and there's a minimum of ten children that you have to pay for. I'd like to surprise her with a limo trip there but obviously not everyone can fit in. The limo I'm looking at booking would fit me, her, two of her siblings and three best friends in. I was thinking of having the three best friends over for a sleepover the night before and meeting the other guests at laser tag. But is it unreasonable to exclude some guests in this way do you think?

Shylo Sun 05-Nov-17 22:43:06

I think it's a bit much to be honest - you've not said how many children are at laser tag but if it were the minimum ten you'd have half the kids in the limo full of stories from the night before and five kids arriving at laser tag feeling like they've missed out on half the fun

Jinglebells99 Sun 05-Nov-17 22:43:22

Yes, I wouldn't do that. How about you and the two siblings don't go in the limo so that all of the guests can. I think it would be horrible to be a second tier guest.

bananafanana1 Sun 05-Nov-17 22:45:53

Yes it’s a bit mean. Who’d want to a second rate non- limo guest 🙁

Could you do the limo for another day out with friends as a treat?

PandaPieForTea Sun 05-Nov-17 22:46:22

Do a second, completely separate event if you want to. Or do something smaller than laser tag. Just don’t do a split event - it’s worse to be invited to half an event than not be invited at all.

Neolara Sun 05-Nov-17 22:48:27

Noooooo! Instead of making 10 kids feel great, 6 will feel crap (second class friends). Just do it and sleepover on a different day..

WeAllHaveWings Sun 05-Nov-17 22:49:07

All her friends should be invited to every part of the party. They are only children, anything else is unkind. Alternatively have a smaller party/activity so everyone invited can all sleep over and do the limo instead of using the other children to make up numbers for your laser tag.

LoniceraJaponica Sun 05-Nov-17 22:49:20

It will separate the guests into A listers and B listers. Please don't do it. DD has been to a few laser tag parties and there has never been a 10 person minimum. We usually go to Xscape at Castleford.

HannahHut Sun 05-Nov-17 22:49:32

I always thought birthday parties in which it ends with some friends sleeping over and some not are cruel.

Imagine turning up and some of the kids have things to stay over and are talking about what they're going to do and you have to leave while they carry on hanging out.

Nanny0gg Sun 05-Nov-17 22:51:19

But is it unreasonable to exclude some guests in this way do you think?


And a limo for a 10 year-old? Really?

RainyApril Sun 05-Nov-17 22:52:29

One of dd's friends did this every year, some sort of special extra treat that was only for her 'vip friends'. It used to upset everyone at primary but by the time they moved on to secondary, they were laughing at her for it (even the ones invited). Either way, not great, so I would avoid it for that reason.

OSETmum Sun 05-Nov-17 22:52:39

No, I think it would be awful for the non-limo children. What are they meant to do as you pull up, applaude?

WorraLiberty Sun 05-Nov-17 22:53:18

NannyOgg the OP hasn't said how old the child is, just that there's 10 guests.

I think it's a bad idea for the reasons already stated.

FrayedHem Sun 05-Nov-17 22:53:46

No, don't do it. Unless you want the other children to know feel like they have only been invited to make up the numbers.

RogerThatOver Sun 05-Nov-17 22:55:14

The sleepover would be before, not after Hannah. Her siblings won't be taking part in the laser tag and we'd arrive before the guests so they didn't see, but obviously it's get mentioned.

Caulk Sun 05-Nov-17 22:55:26

Don’t do it.

HeddaGarbled Sun 05-Nov-17 22:55:53

Tiers of invitations are unpleasant and divisive and can actually cause problems within friendship groups. Save the limo for a different occasion.

RogerThatOver Sun 05-Nov-17 22:56:35

She is ten. It's my cousins limo so he's offering it to me cheaply, it's not that extravagant

gamerchick Sun 05-Nov-17 22:57:15

What about the party fire engine rather than a limo? You’ll be able to fit all of them then.

Only1scoop Sun 05-Nov-17 22:57:34


Limo tacky and grim

HannahHut Sun 05-Nov-17 22:58:24

Okay so they all arrive at the laser tag place and get to hear about how much fun she had with her best friends at the sleep over. (I'm assuming these friends will be the ones in the limo too?).

I'm sure that'll make the others feel great. hmm

lunar1 Sun 05-Nov-17 23:00:50

You daughters second class friends will feel really special I bet!

MrsKnightley Sun 05-Nov-17 23:00:57

Take half there and half back. Everyone gets a go. Birthday girl goes both ways.

FrayedHem Sun 05-Nov-17 23:01:32

I thibk a link for 10 year olds is perfectly fine. But not in the way you are planning where not all the party goers get to go in it.

alittlebitoflove Sun 05-Nov-17 23:02:35

Does she have a certain best friend? Because I think it would be unfair with a few children staying over without all the children however one special friend is different.
If it was just her closest friend it would be understandable however a group staying over but not the rest would be unfair, because at least when it’s the one closest friend, everyone knows they’re your daughters closest friend and it’s understandable and expected however if it’s only a select few staying , it would seem to the others more hurtful as they haven’t been selected but others have and would feel excluded. flowers

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