No time for friends(2 Posts)
I have no friends. I'm 27 and I have a 7 year old dd and a partner. I work full time.
My job is physical and exhausting. I used to have hobbies that I loved but between being a mum and working and running the house, all I want is to get in my pjs and relax in the evenings.
I have a long distance friend but I find it hard to keep the friendship going. She always wants long conversations on the phone and I'm always busy or she calls at inconvienent times.
I feel like on one hand I have no time for friends and that I should accept that family is my life now and i have turned into an introvert so just suck it up and on the other hand I miss having a laugh with friends and coming out of my shell a bit.
Dp has close friends who he sees regularly and he's always saying I should meet up with friends but I always end up staying in plus I don't have anyone other than family to go out with. I always feel silly because I always do things with dp and dd and nothing more.
I tried to get back into my hobbies again but round it too demanding with my work and it just left me permanently exhausted and less able to enjoy it.
Don't really know what to do or how I should feel about it.
Only you can know the right balance for you, but, if you want to know what others do / did / feel ?
For me it was really, really important to know that for just a few hours a month I was "Back" and not "dc's Mum" or "colleague". Even though I was exhausted (dc1 didn't sleep, then I had dc 2 then dc3), that little space for "me" was really important. For me it was just 1 evening a fortnight with the thing I did, so not a great deal of time, but it was a hugely important part of my life at that time, and I would certainly recommend doing something for yourself, however tired you are.
I'd suggest a class or a group or something that you are committed to rather then "just" meeting a friend, or going for a run, as they are too easy to put off, or think 'I'm too tired tonight, we;ll meet soon' and then it never happens, but if you are part of a team - sports or an orchestra or book group or choir or volunteering, then other rely on you and that sort of forces you to go. From 'things you do', friendships grow.
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