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Sister using pronoun they...

(319 Posts)
Merida83 Sun 05-Nov-17 18:33:11

To describe my 7 week old dd!
AIBU to be pissed off and to insist she refers to my DD by female only pronouns.

BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried Sun 05-Nov-17 18:35:01

Did you ask her why she is doing it? Is it deliberate?

formerbabe Sun 05-Nov-17 18:35:17


PurpleDaisies Sun 05-Nov-17 18:36:03

Seriously? confused

BelligerentGardenPixies Sun 05-Nov-17 18:36:49

Is she out and out refusing to use she on ideological grounds or is it just how she normally speaks about babies?

KatherinaMinola Sun 05-Nov-17 18:37:05

DH called PFB "it" for a couple of weeks.

DJBaggySmalls Sun 05-Nov-17 18:38:35

Remind her you did not have twins.

VladmirsPoutine Sun 05-Nov-17 18:39:01

Is she some sort of sanctimonious activist?

eyebrowsonfleek Sun 05-Nov-17 18:39:19

At least she doesn’t use “it” which is a surprisingly common pronoun for babies 😵

VladmirsPoutine Sun 05-Nov-17 18:39:35

(I meant your sister, not your DD, for the avoidance of doubt).

Merida83 Sun 05-Nov-17 18:39:42

Sadly yes I am deadly serious.

Yes it is very deliberate.

And yes it is based on ideological grounds.

PurpleDaisies Sun 05-Nov-17 18:40:05

What ideological grounds?

MamaOfTwos Sun 05-Nov-17 18:40:22

Tell her to fuck herself and if she cant respect your DD and your wishes then she can forgo the relationship

Merida83 Sun 05-Nov-17 18:40:33

Vlad - that sums her up yo a T

GrandDesespoir Sun 05-Nov-17 18:41:04

Perhaps she's seeing double? Suggest a trip to the optician?

Julie8008 Sun 05-Nov-17 18:41:50

Are you worried your DD will grow up to be a man?

Merida83 Sun 05-Nov-17 18:41:55

Mama - sadly that will be the next step.

Really glad it's not just me being all PFB

BatteredBreadedOrSouthernFried Sun 05-Nov-17 18:42:50

I wouldn’t give her the attention she very obviously wants. Ignore every time and. Continue to refer to her and she.

DailyMailReadersAreThick Sun 05-Nov-17 18:42:52

You can't "insist" what words she uses, especially if she's doing it for ideological reasons. So you have to decide if this is important enough for you to stop her seeing your daughter. I know "NC" is done at the drop of a hat on this website, but in real life we have to be a little more flexible.

Merida83 Sun 05-Nov-17 18:43:44

Julie - not worried no. But she is a she. They only person who would get to decide that she is not is dd herself once she is grown.

Batteriesallgone Sun 05-Nov-17 18:44:10

I’d be more annoyed about her using ‘they’ for me tbh. Babies don’t care, and to a large extent, sex doesn’t matter until an older age. I’d be annoyed if she refused to acknowledge that I am female, especially when you’ve just gone through something so intensely feminine as pregnancy and birth.

HollowCity Sun 05-Nov-17 18:44:15

Ideological - in what sense?

Merida83 Sun 05-Nov-17 18:47:46

She believes that gender is a social construct and as such does not wish to assign dd a gender, until she herself does so.

If she was referring to herself or her dc then I would respect it fully but not when my views are so very different and she knows this.

AdalindSchade Sun 05-Nov-17 18:48:59

Remind her that 'she' is a pronoun used for females of all species and that is what your baby is.

NoSquirrels Sun 05-Nov-17 18:53:31

Genders IS a social construct, but sex is not, and "she" is the pronoun associated with the female sex.

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