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To ask what self-awareness means?

(23 Posts)
hellokittymania Sun 05-Nov-17 12:12:24

Someone mentioned this to me the other day, and I didn't understand what they meant. I went on YouTube to try and find The video, but I'm still not really understanding it. I have undiagnosed learning difficulties but social skills and other things are very difficult for me. I just don't understand them so well. Is that what Self awareness means?

AlternativeTentacle Sun 05-Nov-17 12:13:24

What context did they say it in?

hellokittymania Sun 05-Nov-17 12:14:56

I didn't pay my tutor on time and he got very angry, I was upset because I thought he shouldn't have been. Someone said to me that I lack self awareness.

LIZS Sun 05-Nov-17 12:17:12

That you son't grasp the consequences of your actions on others?

MaidOfStars Sun 05-Nov-17 12:21:31

Self-awareness is the ability to understand your own personality, your behaviours and your responses as an individual. It means you have a sense of your own self as a separate entity to the world you experience around you.

A classic measure of self-awareness in animals is called the 'mirror test'. Most intelligent animals can understand that the image they are in the mirror is themself, rather than another dog/monkey/whatever.

hellokittymania Sun 05-Nov-17 12:22:03

That might have been it, The video I tried to watch was really confusing. It said for example a child tells its mother it doesn't want to go to the supermarket but what the child really meant was it wanted biscuits.

MaidOfStars Sun 05-Nov-17 12:23:09

In the context of your thread regarding payment, the poster was saying that you lack the ability to predict how your behaviour affects other people.

CorbynsBumFlannel Sun 05-Nov-17 12:26:01

I think generally used it refers to how aware you are of how you appear to other people.

BlackBanana Sun 05-Nov-17 12:26:02

In context, you did not pay your tutor when you should have paid. He was not happy and you are confused as to why?
You lack self awareness because you can't link your failure to pay to his displeasure, and instead focused on your own feelings about him not being happy with you. If you were selfaware you would realise and acknowledge that you caused the problem, and it isn't appropriate to get upset at him for being upset with you.

hellokittymania Sun 05-Nov-17 12:27:09

Made that makes sense

CorbynsBumFlannel Sun 05-Nov-17 12:29:34

Alyhough depending on what you mean by 'very angry' your tutor may also have been in the wrong. To be self aware would be to recognise your role in what happened though or the impact of your self on others.

daisychain01 Sun 05-Nov-17 12:45:54

Whoever was thoughtless enough to stand in judgement of you and say you lack self awareness, themselves lack self awareness. There are arseholes like that about, and ‘lovely’ they are too.

If you paid your tutor late and they got angry about that, then depending on the circumstances I’d consider getting a different tutor. I paid my yoga teacher a week late, she didn’t get angry at me, it was one of those things, she’s just a lovely human being who knows these things happen. I hope you can find nicer people in your world who will support you more x

hotmilkandcrunchynuts Sun 05-Nov-17 12:47:29

If you paid your tutor late and they got angry about that, then depending on the circumstances I’d consider getting a different tutor

I think you also lack self awareness. what an appalling attitude.

daisychain01 Sun 05-Nov-17 12:48:47

I have undiagnosed learning difficulties but social skills and other things are very difficult for me

In the context of this, you need support and understanding not people making snidely comments at you flowers

LIZS Sun 05-Nov-17 12:49:37

Maybe he had bills to pay? You don't know whether this was a single session or the first time.

daisychain01 Sun 05-Nov-17 12:50:01

grin grin yup let’s all come on this thread and accuse each other of lack of self-awareness, why don’t we!!

Must be contagious.

hellokittymania Sun 05-Nov-17 12:54:24

I don't know Liz, and yes it was the first time and it was on Skype, Everything was resolved with Gumtree, and I'm going to have a new tutor. I have a meeting with someone from my university tomorrow morning.

daisychain01 Sun 05-Nov-17 12:54:32

Yup you’re absolutely right LIZS. All we have to go on is what the OP has been willing to share. They could have 6 kids to support, for all we know. And maybe the OPs perception of anger is different. I just think it’s a pretty mean thing to do to be “angry” at someone in that situation, and for someone else to say they lack “self-awareness”.

Maybe the OP ought to go back to them and get them to explain what they mean. It’s all guess work on here.

hotmilkandcrunchynuts Sun 05-Nov-17 12:54:39

No, its just that you came across as rude and unfair. Lacking selfawareness was putting it politely.
Failing to pay someone for work they have done for you and then saking them because they are not pleased with you is not ok.

hellokittymania Sun 05-Nov-17 12:55:56

Daisy, it's Sunday, time to rest, and besides, on Friday I had a really lovely news as well.

daisychain01 Sun 05-Nov-17 12:57:56

Nice one Hellokitty! All the best

hellokittymania Sun 05-Nov-17 12:59:07

Daisy, I wrote him to say I was sorry and I never heard anything back, so I left it at that. I know for next time though.

hellokittymania Sun 05-Nov-17 13:04:58

Thank you Daisy, for the others who don't know, I posted on Friday, I was asked to be on my borrows disability board as a trustee. It made my early Christmas

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