I'm an emotional person, I'll admit. I'm definitely a 'cryer'. I can't help myself, my emotions just leak out of me and I'm not good at hiding it.
But lately I have had to, I all honesty, I can't let it out without it all wreaking havoc on my life and fucking everything up. I have nowhere else to go at the moment and no money to change anything right now so I know I have to just keep it together for the time being. How long I'm not sure, it could be months.
Aibu to wonder how long I can keep this up? How long I can keep it in before it really messes with my head?
You need an outlet. You can't bottle everything up and pretend it's all fine. That could be a friend to confide in, exercise or a private diary. You also sound like things are pretty awful. Can you plan to change things? What can you do now to ensure things are better in the future?
It is absolutely not healthy to hold it all in. I often do this and it never ends well. It pretty much always ends up in an overly dramatic explosion of emotions and someone else normally gets the brunt of it.
Try writing down how you feel on paper, I feel it really helps without having to unload on other people
I don't really have anyone to confide in, my friends are mostly work friends and I don't want to affect our working relationship.
Wolfie I really do want things to improve. It's just hard when my money situation is so dire right now, it won't always be but I'm trying to recover after an accident at the moment so exercise isn't really doable right now and I'm also losing a lot in wages this month. It's just all on top of me right now
A looong time ago, something really horrible happened to me (a one-off event). And one of the ways I dealt with it was to tell it like it was a story. Out loud. As if I was telling someone about it. Like it was an anecdote or something. I did this over and over and over again.
'Letting it all out' is hugely overrated. If you keep on going over your troubles and wailing about them, you can get stuck in a state of woe rather than fixing the issue or moving on from it. Sometimes, focussing on something else for long enough makes the feelings fade away - all states of mind are finite. Still, if you're feeling rotten at the moment, there are things you could do instead of dumping on random people or friends/family with troubles of their own. Writing it down might help, as PP have said. Or, if you really want to talk to someone and there is no one available, you could try the Samaritans, who are there to listen and not judge - you don't have to be absolutely at the end of your resources to call them and they will never tell you to go away because your troubles aren't 'bad enough.'