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Wtf do I do

(83 Posts)
ComingUpTrumps Sat 04-Nov-17 21:28:00

I'm so fucked.

Wtf do I do?

Have had a bit to drink (with friends) but now on my own - so this has maybe made me feel quite down.

No fucking luck with applying for jobs.

A couple of years ago, I graduated from a degree at Oxbridge (would prefer not to specify which one) to get a good job and to get some validation from people close to me. And I haven't got validation from it or a stable job (I currently work part-time and am job-hunting, and also feel ridiculously nervous and self-conscious around close friends and the few friends I have - most now live far away from me).

Seeing a counsellor at the moment, but it's quite a structured approach, so I don't feel like I can talk about exactly what's been bothering me when I come to each session. I really think my counsellor is great though.

Just would really like a bit of a handhold please.

ComingUpTrumps Sat 04-Nov-17 21:39:20

Bump.

ComingUpTrumps Sat 04-Nov-17 21:42:56

Anyone?

LolaTheDarkdestroyer Sat 04-Nov-17 21:44:17

Sorry no advice as I’m thick as fuck but I’ll offer a hand hold smile

raisinsarenottheonlyfruit Sat 04-Nov-17 21:45:36

What would you like to be able to say to the counsellor?

ManchesterGin Sat 04-Nov-17 21:45:39

Handhold from me.

Keep on job hunting, build up your expertise/employability with some volunteer work/courses. Remember you don't need anyone else's opinion/validation to feel proud of your achievements.

Get some things booked into your diary with people you feel comfortable with and stick to them. Cinema, Coffee, go to the library. Any hobbies?

VioletCharlotte Sat 04-Nov-17 21:45:52

If you've had a few drinks it's not a good time to be worrying about all this as it'll only
Make you feel worse. Pint of water. Bed. Then think about this again tomorrow with a clear head.

SmellySphinx Sat 04-Nov-17 21:46:44

Hahaha Lola that made me laugh! I'm a thicko too so probably not much help but a problem shared and all that grin

LolaTheDarkdestroyer Sat 04-Nov-17 21:47:32

Exactly Sphinx grin

NoSquirrels Sat 04-Nov-17 21:51:07

You'll be OK, OP.

Sometimes it is tough & confusing just after graduating, and a boozy Sat eve can be lonely.

What's your part-time job, and what career are you aiming for? I bet things are not so bleak as you feel.

Mustbesilverlining Sat 04-Nov-17 21:51:17

Hand holding too. I second noting what you would like to say to counsellor. When you are feeling overwhelmed everything can get on top of u, even the small things. I advise clients to separate their difficulties into smaller chunks and then look at 'what I can change' 'what I can change now' 'what I can change in the future' 'what I need support to change' and 'what I have no ability to change'. Small steps. Stay strong and reach out to those who you do feel can and will support.

ChevalierTialys Sat 04-Nov-17 21:51:29

Putndown the booze. Its a depressant and is it not helping. Have some water. I have no advice zbout the job issue unfortunately but have a handhold flowers

ComingUpTrumps Sat 04-Nov-17 21:59:58

Thank you so much everyone flowers

I just feel like such a fucking failure. I just feel like I take two steps forward and one step back. Or maybe one step forward and two steps back. I don't know what the hell I'm doing. And sure as hell, I'm not progressing.

Am having some water to feel better. Thanks for all of your help and support.

ComingUpTrumps Sat 04-Nov-17 22:01:11

I don't really know who I can ring for support. I feel a bit alone. I don't really want to tell anyone about this. It's not like they don't already know, anyway. I just feel so fucking pathetic.

ComingUpTrumps Sat 04-Nov-17 22:02:12

Forgot to say - thank you so much for all of your help so far.

Should I ring Samaritans maybe? Never done it before.

Allthewaves Sat 04-Nov-17 22:04:08

I think the big uni's sometimes don't equip students for life. Your told things are going to be amazing once you graduate, world at your feet then your presented with the big bad world. Some people will walk into jobs and breeze through, the rest of us have to slog and push and keep trying.

Perhaps write down what you want to say to your counsellor and give it to them

CakesRUs Sat 04-Nov-17 22:04:39

Don’t worry about pleasing people, or what people think about you, I did that myself for years.

Keep trying to get where YOU want to be, don’t give up - it’ll be ok flowers

ComingUpTrumps Sat 04-Nov-17 22:04:55

Squirrels I'm tutoring at the moment. I'm not really sure what career I'm aiming for - maybe something to do with politics or the public sector? I really want to do something where I can help people. I tried teaching though, and messed that up - hated it, and gave it up. I'm already 25, and just feel like I'm wasting everything. I'm doing nothing useful or helpful. I'm so fucking frustrated with myself. It just feels like I'm stagnating and not progressing.

ComingUpTrumps Sat 04-Nov-17 22:05:38

Allthewaves you're spot on. Thanks.

PurpleDaisies Sat 04-Nov-17 22:05:40

You can definitely ring the Samaritans. They’ll talk to anybody about anything they’re worried about. flowers

Catinthecorner Sat 04-Nov-17 22:06:53

If you’d like to ring Samaritans that would be ok. It’s allowed. Or if you like you can just keep talking to us. That’s fine too.

You’re talking a lot about doing things to make other people validate you. What are you doing in the way of self care? It’s one of the first things to go when I feel down. Even little things (maybe painting your nails or taking a walk) count.

Sarahjconnor Sat 04-Nov-17 22:07:17

Lola - you're hilarious and that carries a high IQ - awesomeness

Op - Chill, take your time. The problem with a high achieving youth is that its hard to live up it. It's ok to take time to figure out what you want to do. What do you enjoy?

ComingUpTrumps Sat 04-Nov-17 22:07:32

Thanks so much Cakes I just don't know where I want to be. Ok, Jo Cox is one of my work role models if that makes sense. I really want to help people and also have a successful career. But it just seems like whenever I try to have a go at applying for a job, I mess up. I just don't know how to do well.

Hauntedlobster Sat 04-Nov-17 22:07:38

You’re not already 25, you’re only 25.

Breathe. You don’t need to have it all worked out now. Take time and think about what you want. If you go down a few wrong career paths that’s ok. Don’t rush.

It will all be ok.

ComingUpTrumps Sat 04-Nov-17 22:08:50

I just feel so confused. I really want to be happy and successful. And I don't know if it's possible. Is it? I'm sort of happy at the moment. But definitely nowhere near successful.

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