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To try and get them to understand?

(6 Posts)
malika54 Sat 04-Nov-17 12:31:06

I am in the process of splitting up with my partner. It is amicable so far and everyone is being a grown-up so far. We will tell the kids once he knows what he's doing re mortgage.
My parents have however got involved and emailed him behind my back to see how he feels and try and get him to reconsider and think of the children. I have received a message myself this morning, saying I shouldn't give up, and he loves you and you should put the children first. Their view is that I am making a mistake and I should suck it up for them, and I have lost my mind but am not realising it.
Realistically, it's a caring email with a nice tone to it, but really they feel I am bonkers and selfish and am giving up on giving the kids the best.
I have started to write an answer, but am really at loss of how to make them understand that I know what I'm doing, and the kids will be looked after. We are putting them first, which is why everything is amicable and civilised.
Any thoughts? Suggestions?

LindyHemming Sat 04-Nov-17 12:33:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ILoveMillhousesDad Sat 04-Nov-17 12:34:40

Do they know the reason you have decided to split? Or has it come out of the blue for them? Not saying you have to tell them the ins and outs, but if they could have some understanding of why, it may help.

malika54 Sat 04-Nov-17 12:35:28

I already have had that conversation. I am also way better at writing than speaking. For the sake of everyone involved, I'd like to avoid getting everything out in the open so as not to create resentment between the parties iyswim.

malika54 Sat 04-Nov-17 12:37:13

I have explained the main reasons, but they're not convinced I think. They are very religious and have come up with forgiveness verses from the bible. confused

SilverySurfer Sat 04-Nov-17 13:44:02

I think e-mail is better too and would say something like:

'I know you had nothing but good intentions when you e-mailed STBXH about us parting. I have already explained to you the reasons why this is happening and I also believe it will ultimately be best for the children. We are currently ameniably trying to part and at the same time will do everything possible to ensure the children will continue to have a good relationship with both of us. I would really appreciate it if you did not contact STBXH again. Nothing will change my/our mind(s) and it's really for us to sort out the details and get on with our lives. Love and kisses.'

In your own words of course.

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