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Would love to hear some positive step parenting stories

(11 Posts)
BringMeSunshinePlease Sat 04-Nov-17 11:50:01

I'd really like to hear some positive step parenting stories. I have two teenage step children and I'd really like to know that things work for some families. I'm struggling and would love a positive story to show me there's hope! AIBU for asking this?

BringMeSunshinePlease Sat 04-Nov-17 14:23:19

Are there really no positive step parenting stories at all 😂

Neonrainbow Sat 04-Nov-17 14:27:52

Step parents don't tend to put their head above the parapet in aibu especially! What sort of positive stories are you after? I think most step parents are just getting on with life and doing their best to help raise their stepchildren the best way they can. I have a stepson. I think that I bring a different viewpoint to his upbringing and I can see things that his parents can't. Luckily my husband is very open to suggestions that I make to help guide my stepson to make good choices. I don't think that I would have lasted long as a stepmum without the support of my husband. he always listens to what I have to say where my stepson is concerned and I have always felt like an equal member of the household. We all get along great and he loves being with us.

Mittens1969 Sat 04-Nov-17 14:30:24

Ok, I’ll tell you about my DSis and DBIL. She has a DSS who is now 20, but he was 9 when she married their DF. They now have 3 further DCs, 1 of them adopted. A completely blended family.

She loves all the DCs the same, and now she’s a granny to her DSS’s baby DS. It’s been a challenge as she was his main carer for a number of years, but she’s had to be careful not to step on his mum’s toes. He calls her by her name, of course, but he’s very respectful of her.

mygorgeousmilo Sat 04-Nov-17 14:39:18

I have one, I’ve mentioned my situation in step parenting AIBU threads before. Her dad and I split up when she was still a child, now she’s at university in another country and I’ll be visiting her with my husband and kids next year when she graduates. My ex and his new wife and kids will be there too, we’re like one big modern family, bound by the love of an amazing kid. Her mum ditched her when she was still very little, she’s not a part of her life at all, so I don’t know if that makes a difference. Her mum didn’t make a fuss about leaving her, I took her home on the train after we’d had her in school holidays, and her mum was gone. It took a while for it to sink in, for both of us, that her mum was never coming back and that I was then effectively the only mother figure left in her life. I still call her my step daughter about 12 years after I split with her dad, and have always kept it civilised when referring to either of her parents. I absolutely adore her, and when I met my husband I told him she would continue to be in my life and that if he couldn’t deal with seeing my ex sometimes (for her) then it would be a dealbreaker. Luckily, he’s a wonderful dad to our kids and embraces my ex-step-daughter into the family as warmly as I do. It’s often about ego with step kids/families, and the kids become a secondary concern. In our case, she has always remained the priority, and we all have her best interests as a focus. I believe it can work, but recognise how hard it can be.

BringMeSunshinePlease Sat 04-Nov-17 14:46:17

Thank you, I'm looking for any positively I can cling onto at the moment. I'm desperately hoping things will work out as I love my DP very much. The step children are teenagers (18 and 14) which is a tough time for most parents anyway. I don't want to get in the way of them being parented by their mum and dad who both do a great job, I'd just like to be made to feel welcome into the family.

chipscheeseandgravy Sat 04-Nov-17 14:48:50

My nephew lives with his stepdad as opposed to his mum. They were together from nephew being about 2, then when they split some 10 years later, nephew asked to live with his stepdad as opposed to his Mum. He sees his mum most days, just realised he gets away with more living with his stepdad grin

HighwayDragon1 Sat 04-Nov-17 14:51:46

I love my "step" dad. He's always been there, when my biodad left he was there to pick up the pieces, he's been the perfect dad. If I could model and sell dad's I would base then on my step dad. He stepped up to the plate and cared for me (and my mum ofc)

BringMeSunshinePlease Sun 05-Nov-17 11:09:49

Thanks for all your comments but as suspected there isn't much positivity around step parenting. Definitely easier with our partner's support and if that's lacking I'm beginning to think it's not worth the effort.

rainbowbreeze123 Mon 06-Nov-17 16:48:11

I was really worried about being a step Mum but I can honestly say its been a really positive experience, he was 8 when I met him and hes now 16 and a lovely lad.. im v proud of him ! And me !

PookieSnackenberger Mon 06-Nov-17 16:52:43

My best friend remarried when her DD was 11. Her DH is more of a father than her biological father ever was. He encouraged and supported her financially and emotionally, during the teen years, advised and supported her through university. He calls her 'my daughter' which is lovely. You would never, ever guess he isn't her biological father.

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