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WIBU Not to apologise?

(80 Posts)
FakePlantsOnly Sat 04-Nov-17 11:31:50

Just looking for other opinions on this as I didn’t think I was in the wrong but am open to being told I’m wrong.

Was just in Sainsbury’s, which as you can imagine at this time on a Saturday is heaving. I didn’t need much so picked up a basket. Was at the beginning of one of the aisles waiting to go down it as a family were stood across the aisle trying to decide what they wanted-which for me is a whole other issue that I won’t go in to. I stood waiting, not in a rush so don’t really mind. They then chose what they wanted and all turned towards me to leave the aisle at which point one of the children walked into the corner of my basket. I didn’t say anything and then her mum asked me if I was going to apologise to which I replied “no, she walked in to it, I was stood still.” She’s replied saying that I should have been more careful about the way I carry my basket and she still thinks I should apologise. As I didn’t think I’d done anything wrong I said again that I wasn’t going to apologise and went to walk away, thinking it was all done, she then grabbed my arm as I walked away and said I wasn’t going anywhere until I apologised, at this point her husband stepped in and said she was wasting her time as I was clearly too ignorant to realise that I was in the wrong and then they left.

Boils down to, was IBU by not apologising?

shivermytimbers Sat 04-Nov-17 11:35:03

YANBU. There is never an excuse for laying hands on someone else in anger or threatening them. How awful for you!

SoulStew Sat 04-Nov-17 11:35:29

Nope. Yanbu. Why do whole families go shopping like this!?

anyoldname76 Sat 04-Nov-17 11:35:38

i wouldnt have apologised either, probably would have asked the child if they were ok.

pigeondujour Sat 04-Nov-17 11:38:08

What a pair of arseholes. Agree with pp, absolutely no need for a full family to go and clog up the aisles of a supermarket.

stickygotstuck Sat 04-Nov-17 11:39:47

FWIW I'm with you OP.
Can't believe she told you you weren't going anywhere until you apologised. You explained why you didn't think you should, she disagreed. Her attitude was uncalled for, she should have apologised grin.

EB123 Sat 04-Nov-17 11:40:32

I probably would have said oops, are you okay? to the child when it happened rather than just stand silently. Surely that is a normal reaction?

She shouldn't have done what she did though.

Pengggwn Sat 04-Nov-17 11:40:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

firawla Sat 04-Nov-17 11:41:16

She was obviously bu as she grabbed hold of you! Not ok!

EB123 Sat 04-Nov-17 11:41:23

Was the child hurt btw?

DontLetMeBeMisunderstood Sat 04-Nov-17 11:42:40

They were completely unreasonable and aggressive - in front of their children too, what great role models. If the child had walked into my basket I probably would have said 'whoops, are you okay?' as a reflex, they should have apologised to you if anything!

Wellthatwasembarassing Sat 04-Nov-17 11:42:41

Disgusting family. Way to raise their children to be nasty little entitled thugs. I wonder where they'll be in a few years time? With how aggressive their mother was no doubt in juvenile detention or worse.
Her daughter should have apologised and the mother should never have never laid a hand on you. YANBU

Namechangetempissue Sat 04-Nov-17 11:44:34

I would have asked if she was ok (the child, not mother) but an apology wasn't necessary. The mother was out of line touching you, but I wouldn't bother contacting the police. Just chalk it up to the parents being idiots and leave it at that.

Pengggwn Sat 04-Nov-17 11:56:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MyYoniFromHull Sat 04-Nov-17 11:58:02

I'm sorry your child walked into my basket...

Witsender Sat 04-Nov-17 12:00:26

I would have checked the child was ok, wouldn't have thought to apologise I don't think

Quartz2208 Sat 04-Nov-17 12:01:32

No but I do find your reaction odd, just standing there waiting and then not a simple oops are you ok

adCampaign Sat 04-Nov-17 12:01:33

I wouldn't have apologised but would have asked the child if they were okay.


"She assaulted you. I would report it to the police and ask them to check the CCTV. How [very] dare she."

Haha. Love it!

Suze1621 Sat 04-Nov-17 12:02:04

I wouldn't have apologised either. In similar circumstances I say (kindly) oh dear be careful or whoops, watch where you are going and if a child I would also ask if they are ok.

youarenotkiddingme Sat 04-Nov-17 12:04:48

My automatic reaction would have been to say "oops" and ask child if they were ok.

But you didn't need to apologise for someone else walking into you and she shouldn't have assaulted you because she believed she was right.

I'd have reported to security at the time.

Iwasjustabouttosaythat Sat 04-Nov-17 12:06:09

Er, I think it's common decency to acknowledge someone's existence if they walk into you regardless of whose fault it was. Especially a child. My immediate reaction would be to get on the level of the kid and ask if they're ok. I wouldn't apologise if it wasn't my fault but I think it's weird that you didn't even react to a hurt child?

The mother was totally out of order to grab you but I think you were in the wrong to begin with and escalated the situation.

MinervaSaidThar Sat 04-Nov-17 12:07:56

You would have been within your rights to remove your arm forcefully from hers.

And next time people block the aisles, tell them to move!

ReanimatedSGB Sat 04-Nov-17 12:08:21

YANBU at all. People like this family are a fucking blight - rude, entitled, aggressive and selfish.

Bonez Sat 04-Nov-17 12:08:33

How strange. If that was my child I would have just said 'ooh watch where you're going silly billy'. Obviously an entitled pair. The kids will grow up the same.

MinervaSaidThar Sat 04-Nov-17 12:09:26


It's the parents job to do that, not the OP's. She did nothing wrong. And parents job to explain to their child that they need to look where they're going.

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