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To worry about loving them the same

(2 Posts)
BeyondLove Sat 04-Nov-17 10:16:46

Hi, bit of background...

We have a 4 year old DS.
I can’t have any more children.

We’ve been seriously considering adopting a child.

My main concern is that because our DS is biologically ours and second child wouldn’t be, that we won’t feel the same love for them.

I would HATE for them to think we had favourites, especially as DS looks so much like us and adopted child probably wouldn’t.

Anyone have any experience with this? Thank-you!!!

Dauphinoise Sat 04-Nov-17 10:24:24

I've considered this and also worried I wouldn't love them the same. I have a DSS too, and although I love and care for him the love definitely isn't as deep as it is for my own biological son.

I mean, I guess that's because I haven't actually brought him up, only known him since the age of 10... So we haven't had the opportunity to be as close and bond like my biological DS and I. But just the chance I may not bond as well with an adopted child, who may come into our lives at a later stage in their life, has made the decision for me not to risk it.

I utterly admire adoptive / foster parents who can love deeply for children that aren't biologically their own. I really wish I could be the same

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