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To ask him to come home early?

(25 Posts)
IsItWine0ClockSoon Sat 04-Nov-17 09:39:22

Husband and his best friend have a big day today based on a local event with friends. His best friend and family have traveled a long way to stay with us specifically for this event but typically, I have come down with a sick bug. Was sick and in and out of the bathroom all night so had little sleep. I was supposed to be hosting the wives while the boys go out for drinks tonight but I’ve had to cancel them coming over. Aside from the fact that I’m shattered and still running to the loo, I am not in a fit state to be lively and energetic for our visitors and kids while the boys drink.
AIBU to ask him to come home for the evening? I’m actually quite upset that he’s not even considering being here. X x

Pickleypickles Sat 04-Nov-17 09:44:19

What can he do if hes at home? Its rubbish being ill especially if you have kids but it sounds like a day that has been planned for a while, people have travelled etc. I wouldnt want to ruin his evening just because i wasnt well, why should you both suffer? If it was just a saturday night out that was spontaneous or a regular occurance then i would say YANBU but because peoppe have travelled and its been ppanned i think YABU sorry.

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 Sat 04-Nov-17 09:45:46

YABU. You can't take part, but that doesn't mean it should be ruined for him and your friends too.

frieda909 Sat 04-Nov-17 09:46:27

Not sure I’ve understood properly, are you saying you’ve cancelled the visitors and therefore want him to come home and look after you? Or are there still guests staying with you?

If you’ve got guests staying with you then I don’t think YABU to ask him to come home and help with them.

Maelstrop Sat 04-Nov-17 09:49:43

Do you have dc that need looking after? If not, go to bed with a bucket. What's the point of asking the dh to be there to watch you puke?

Waitingonasmile Sat 04-Nov-17 09:49:47

If you have children under 3 I would say not unreasonable to ask him to come home early. If you don't have anyone else to look after,or older children,then YABVU.

EasterRobin Sat 04-Nov-17 09:51:31

Is there anything that needs doing? (Other than lying down, sipping drinks, watching TV and running to the bathroom.) If there are things to be done (like childcare), you are reasonable to expect him to do them. But if you just want company, then you've been unlucky in your timings and it's not really fair to ask.

PandorasXbox Sat 04-Nov-17 09:51:39

Do you have dc and if so what age are they?

If not then no I don’t think he should come home early!

KarateKitten Sat 04-Nov-17 09:52:09

If you want him to look after you the YABA baby😬 Sorry.

If you've toddlers to mind while sick then YANBU to want him to cut it short where possible and come and mind them.

IsItWine0ClockSoon Sat 04-Nov-17 09:52:22

I may not have explained it properly! Our friends are here and staying with us until tomorrow. The day out is still going ahead for all of them except me and my youngest. Then, the boys are going it drinking, as per their original plan, while the kids, me and our friend’s wife stay in for the evening. I have cancelled 2 other families that were due to come over.
I think I was just hoping he’d say that they’d all come back together and we’d have the evening at home with our friends.

Gingernaut Sat 04-Nov-17 09:53:31

YABU. What's he going to do? Hold your hair as he gets infected?

IsItWine0ClockSoon Sat 04-Nov-17 09:53:57

My children are 2 and 4 and our friends’ little girl is 3.

Dobopdidoo1 Sat 04-Nov-17 09:57:28

YABU. Don’t be that partner

TwitterQueen1 Sat 04-Nov-17 09:57:47

Since you've got a bug you should be encouraging everyone to go out and stay away from you! I don't get why you want your DH and the friend to stay at home. What will that achieve? If the friend's wife is at your home she can entertain the children whilst you stay in bed and away from everyone else.

PandorasXbox Sat 04-Nov-17 09:58:41

Ah ok. It’s if you’re still ill at 4/5pm then yes he shouldn’t go out drinking all evening.

Hope you feel better soon.

bananafanana1 Sat 04-Nov-17 10:00:01

You might be feeling brighter later. I don’t see why he should cancel the plans if people have travelled. If I’d have travelled/paid for hotel I’d be a bit put out that we all had to sit in as one person was ill. Or imagine it was the other way round and he was ill, would you do the same?

SaucyJack Sat 04-Nov-17 10:03:16

No YANBU then.

They'll have been to whatever event it was that your DH's best mate and wife travelled down for.

I don't think it's asking to much that they come home earlier than planned so that your DH can do some of the dinner/bath/bed while you sleep, and the other bloke can keep his wife company.

They can probably be back in the pub by 9 anyway, as the kids are so young. Just leave the other wife with the wifi password and bottle, and head off to bed.

Itsonkyme Sat 04-Nov-17 10:06:23

YABU the wife and kids that are staying with you until tomorrow will have to entertain themselves in your house. Unless there has been a new arrangement with the other wives that were coming over to yours this evening and she could go there.
You will not be expected to do any entertaining if youre ill SO just be ill and do what ill people do and let the rest of the arrangements go on as planned.
Asking your husband to come home early is just not on. It will spoil the Special Event for everyone else.

PandorasXbox Sat 04-Nov-17 10:08:46

It’s unfair to expect the female guest to look after the OP’s dc all day and evening, if the DH comes home early evening at least he can take over then.

confusedlittleone Sat 04-Nov-17 10:10:15

YANBU- your sick so he should get over missing the event and parent his children while your sick

confusedlittleone Sat 04-Nov-17 10:11:47

It also doesn't mean the others have to stay home- they can all go.

IsItWine0ClockSoon Sat 04-Nov-17 10:14:44

Thank you all for your responses.

I think I’ve established that what has upset me the most is that if roles were reversed, I wouldn’t think twice about changing my plans...at the very least offering to change them, whereas the thought hasn’t even occurred to him! 😞

Sugarpiehoneyeye Sat 04-Nov-17 10:26:07

With respect, you'll probably have a much calmer evening without them ! Hope you're feeling much better soon. 🌺

kateandme Sat 04-Nov-17 10:29:17

i can see where your coming from. everyone wants to feel like they are loved and looked after and out for.
maybe a midway would be him saying he loves or is thinking of you or making you feel good before he goes out then you mjight not have felt so adrift.because at the end of the day wouldn't you if hed been lovely this morning and caring and suggested saying then you might have then said.no no you go actually.
I think its the bits in between you need.

IsItWine0ClockSoon Sat 04-Nov-17 10:57:39

Kateandme thank you! You’re spot on x x

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