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Always be the one asking

(3 Posts)
teabag20048 Sat 04-Nov-17 07:39:23

Being a stay at home parent I have found it very hard not having any adult interaction. I have a few friends and I know people are busy but I always feel that's its me that asks would you like to meet up for a coffee, I always get a yes that would be lovely sometimes its arranged/other times they don't get back to me, I am never asked, it has got to the point where I feel like just giving up asking. I thought it might get easier!?

Duckstar Sat 04-Nov-17 07:44:03

Do you enjoy their company when you hang out? If so I’d keep asking - don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.

I know it’s annoying. My NCT group was like this. I organised everything. Everyone happy to meet up, but very rarely organised anything. I thought about stopping organising things, but I felt that would just make me miserable.

As I’ve met more friends through other groups/school (and these people actually ask me along). I’ve stopped organising things for the Nct - we/they never meet up - lots of “oh we should meet up soon”.

So my advice, keep looking, but maybe keep an eye out for more organised friend wink

MemeGirls Sat 04-Nov-17 07:51:53

Please don’t take this offensively but if your friends are working full time it’s likely they rarely get time to do things like have coffee with their friends. I had a falling out with a friend of mine who is a SAHM because she said I never bothered with her and her newborn... that isn’t true, but she has 8 hours a day she is trying to fill her time with and I’m at work 9-5, then picking kids up after school, dinner, homework etc before I know it it’s 8pm and I’ve not even made mine or DPs dinner yet.
I’m not being disparaging (I was a SAHM myself for 2 years) but it’s likely you’ll have a lot more free time on your hands. And you’ll have seen your kids all week being at home - my weekends are my family time as that’s the only time I get to spend with them. I see my friend’s occasionally when I can, but if it was a choice between coffee with a mate and her kids or doing something with my DP and my DCs then they obviously come first.
Don’t take it personally and if you’re struggling for friends then get a hobby, join a gym, go to mums groups and expand your friendship group so there are people in your situation like you around who are craving adult company and will take you up on the offer.

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