Always be the one asking(3 Posts)
Being a stay at home parent I have found it very hard not having any adult interaction. I have a few friends and I know people are busy but I always feel that's its me that asks would you like to meet up for a coffee, I always get a yes that would be lovely sometimes its arranged/other times they don't get back to me, I am never asked, it has got to the point where I feel like just giving up asking. I thought it might get easier!?
Do you enjoy their company when you hang out? If so I’d keep asking - don’t cut off your nose to spite your face.
I know it’s annoying. My NCT group was like this. I organised everything. Everyone happy to meet up, but very rarely organised anything. I thought about stopping organising things, but I felt that would just make me miserable.
As I’ve met more friends through other groups/school (and these people actually ask me along). I’ve stopped organising things for the Nct - we/they never meet up - lots of “oh we should meet up soon”.
So my advice, keep looking, but maybe keep an eye out for more organised friend
Please don’t take this offensively but if your friends are working full time it’s likely they rarely get time to do things like have coffee with their friends. I had a falling out with a friend of mine who is a SAHM because she said I never bothered with her and her newborn... that isn’t true, but she has 8 hours a day she is trying to fill her time with and I’m at work 9-5, then picking kids up after school, dinner, homework etc before I know it it’s 8pm and I’ve not even made mine or DPs dinner yet.
I’m not being disparaging (I was a SAHM myself for 2 years) but it’s likely you’ll have a lot more free time on your hands. And you’ll have seen your kids all week being at home - my weekends are my family time as that’s the only time I get to spend with them. I see my friend’s occasionally when I can, but if it was a choice between coffee with a mate and her kids or doing something with my DP and my DCs then they obviously come first.
Don’t take it personally and if you’re struggling for friends then get a hobby, join a gym, go to mums groups and expand your friendship group so there are people in your situation like you around who are craving adult company and will take you up on the offer.
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