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To cook what I want on Xmas day?

(172 Posts)
isitginoclock Thu 02-Nov-17 19:55:34

So... for the last few years (since the children were born) I have never cooked a full roast on Christmas Day when I've been hosting. We do a roast on either Xmas eve or Boxing Day, and then for Christmas Day we have something else that's easy to prepare in advance - steak and chips, lasagna, slow cooker curry - basically so we can drink prosecco chill out all morning and spend some nice time as a family.

It's always gone down really well with guests. However, this year, my inlaws are kicking up a fuss and saying that they will only come if we cook a full roast dinner. They say that they do a roast when we come over for Xmas so we should do the same.

AIBU to tell them that the steak and chips are staying and they can take it or leave it?

kaytee87 Thu 02-Nov-17 19:57:12

If it’s important to your dh to have them there then I suppose he could cook the whole works?
I love Christmas dinner but they’re being pretty rude.

Justmuddlingalong Thu 02-Nov-17 19:57:58

Guests shouldn't dictate the menu. Tell them to take it or leave it. More prosecco for you.

Justbookedasummmerholiday Thu 02-Nov-17 19:58:11

Uninvite them.

Anecdoche Thu 02-Nov-17 19:58:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notonthestairs Thu 02-Nov-17 19:59:51

On the one hand I love steak and chips and am always thrilled at someone cooking for me so I think they are being unreasonable.

On the other I love a full Christmas dinner - but then I can't imagine demanding it from anyone lovely enough to host me though.

HHmmm tell them its steak and chips.

19lottie82 Thu 02-Nov-17 20:00:02

Yes, you can cook what you like, YANBU in that respect, however if I was going to someone’s house on Xmas day, I’d be a bit miffed at being served lasagne! I don’t think you can be upset if your in laws don’t come for lunch!

Ausparent Thu 02-Nov-17 20:01:14

Fuck em.
Ell them Jesus didn't eat a roast on his birthday. Worst case they don't come.

Christmas without in-laws? Pricelessgrin

SpottedGingham Thu 02-Nov-17 20:03:47

We did egg and chips one year. 😋

QueenLaBeefah Thu 02-Nov-17 20:04:12

I'm with your PILs on this one.

PenelopeFlintstone Thu 02-Nov-17 20:04:49

YABU. Prepare the roast the night before but eat a lasagne. On Christmas Day, bang the roast in the oven, just as you would have done the lasagne, and have that.

MadMags Thu 02-Nov-17 20:06:00

I'm with your in-laws. But I wouldn't feel under any obligation to invite them. Or I'd leave it to DH to cook a Christmas dinner.

19lottie82 Thu 02-Nov-17 20:08:12

Is it really so hard to make a roast? Just buy a turkey crown and a couple of trays of veg / potato’s then make up a jug of instant gravy.

isitginoclock Thu 02-Nov-17 20:11:33

I don’t think you can be upset if your in laws don’t come for lunch!

Lordy, that would be a result! I just don't want to change plans, as I think that Christmas is about who you're with not what you eat. Ironically I do it this way round because I love a good roast - this way I can give it its full attention on another day grin full marks to anyone who manages to pull it off on Christmas Day, I'm just not one of those people who can.

sadiemm2 Thu 02-Nov-17 20:12:18

I never do a roast dinner. We have a late breakfast, usually fairly substantial, then a huge cheese board for tea. My parents often come for breakfast, my in laws are too busy with their other children to bother me grin

Glumglowworm Thu 02-Nov-17 20:12:56

PIL: we're only coming if you do a roast
You: okay never mind , we'll see you a different day then

You do Christmas how it suits you and your family (as in you, DP and DC) and PIL can take it or leave it

hareagain Thu 02-Nov-17 20:13:16

YANBU. If they don't like what you are offering, they should politely decline imo.
You are entitled to a relaxing day at home with your children on Christmas day, especially if you don't get the opportunity very often.
Last year we had a huge cooked breakfast in our pj's and didn't go anywhere all day. DS age 14 said it was best ever Christmas he'd had. You don't get that opportunity years on end...

rookiemere Thu 02-Nov-17 20:14:11

I like turkey on Christmas day and I'd be very disappointed if I was offered something else, just because its meant to be a special meal and it's something I look forward to.
However I wouldn't expect someone else to cook a meal that they don't want to so I'd either decline the invite or have my own roast dinner on Boxing day.

However I also don't see what's so hard about preparing a turkey roast- you just buy a pre-prepped one and bung it in the oven, and buy ready made roasties and veg already prepared. Virtually no cooking time or skill required.

Fluffyears Thu 02-Nov-17 20:15:30

Yanbu I am thinking of ordering a Chinese this year. Torn though as I love Christmas dinner.

juddyrockingcloggs Thu 02-Nov-17 20:15:54

One year I want to do that! Roast on Christmas Eve and then order an Indian takeaway on Christmas Day night! That would be heavenly but my DH is a stickler for tradition and wants a Christmas dinner!

hareagain Thu 02-Nov-17 20:17:03

Sorry, as in a cooked breakfast for lunch (followed by unmentionable amounts of crap for the rest of the day).

BarbarianMum Thu 02-Nov-17 20:17:51

Don't see the problem. You don't want to cook it, they would rather not come if you don't. My sis once invited us over for 'a cold buffet' on Christmas Day. We made our excuses. Hosts can host how they want but anyone is free to decline an invitation.

JellyBabiesSaveLives Thu 02-Nov-17 20:20:31

It's not as if you're surprising them with something-that-isn't-roast-turkey on Christmas day. They've had plenty of warning so if they don't like it they can decline your kind invitation, can't they?

BewareOfDragons Thu 02-Nov-17 20:20:43

It's your Christmas, too, and you don't fancy cooking all day to feed other people. Your Inlaws are unreasonable: you'll be serving perfectly good food, they can join you or not, their choice.

Imagine, guests trying to dictate the menu like that. So what if they would have cooked a roast if you went to theirs? That was their choice, too.

FenceSitter01 Thu 02-Nov-17 20:20:58

guests shouldn't dictate the menu
Unless, apparently, they are ordering nut roast, in which case your whole fridge and larder must revolve round them grin

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