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To ask for help organising my life

(54 Posts)
SuzukiLi Thu 02-Nov-17 19:16:16

I'm burning out quite quickly and know something had to give but don't know what!
I'm at uni full time which is an hours drive each way, so I leave my house at half 7 and don't get home till half 6.
I'm a single parent, my DD's dad isn't involved so it's me and her 24/7 with no break.
I manage to fit an hour in the gym after I finish uni and before I drive home, then I get home, tidy up and make some dinner, put DD to bed and finally sit down to do some study. By this point it's half 8 and I can barely keep my eyes open. I'm also trying to maintain a relationship and I have Bi Polar....
I took 3 days off from uni this week just so I could relax and try and catch up with myself but now I've fallen behind and I'm so bloody stressed!!! I don't even know the point if this really... don't k kW if there's anything obvious that u can change that I'm not seeing.

Heratnumber7 Thu 02-Nov-17 19:24:14

Can you do your studying between lectures? No uni course I know keeps students in lectures from 8 to 5 every day.

SuzukiLi Thu 02-Nov-17 19:45:31

I only have an hour lunch break, and on the day i finish early I head home early.

Panicattheschoolgate Thu 02-Nov-17 19:47:17

Give the gym a break?
You can always pick back up when you have more time x

SuzukiLi Thu 02-Nov-17 19:50:24

I don't think I can quit gym. It's the only thing that keeps me sane! And the meds I have to take are fuckers for weight gain.

Alicecooperslovechild Thu 02-Nov-17 19:50:26

Can you talk to someone at the university? Most have a counselling service. They may be able to give you some practical pointers.

RochelleGoyle Thu 02-Nov-17 19:55:30

Sorry to hear you're struggling SuzukiLi, I can identify with what you've written. I'm not in a great place myself so can't offer any magic advice but I just want you to know that you've been heard and aren't alone. You sound incredibly strong and capable. Keep going!

SpinnerDryer Thu 02-Nov-17 19:55:51

Is there any excersise you can do at home?

That way you could be home earlier 5.30? & get food & DD settled, then have a longer evening for yourself.

Could DD go to a swimming/dance class or something on the weekend, so you can get an hour at the gym?

SuzukiLi Thu 02-Nov-17 20:11:14

I would never exercise at home as I'm too lazy 😂 I would just go to bed. She can't go to any classes without me there as she's only 3 and I don't see her during the week so weekends are our time to do stuff together 😩

Heratnumber7 Thu 02-Nov-17 22:06:53

Several good suggestions OP, but you don’t like any of them.
Have you thought about taking a year off from uni to give yourself a break! Maybe switch to OU and take longer to finish your course?
What are you studying that has lectures all day, every day?

SuzukiLi Thu 02-Nov-17 23:37:26

I don't think putting it off for a year will help, as my situation isn't going to improve until I've finished my degree. I'm studying robotic engineering, it's pretty full on.

Butterymuffin Thu 02-Nov-17 23:46:47

That's a tough schedule. Is there any possibility you could get the train, at least on some days if not all, and use that time to study instead of evenings?

paxillin Thu 02-Nov-17 23:51:47

How old is your DD, this is a very long day for her, too? I'd drop the gym and exercise at home.

paxillin Thu 02-Nov-17 23:52:51

Sorry, I see she's 3. You know how you feel after such a long day. Worse for her.

RemainOptimistic Thu 02-Nov-17 23:52:51

Go part time OP. Discuss with your personal tutor in the department.

Engineering is unique in being mostly 9-5 M-F timetabled classes. Plus coursework on top. Not really compatible with spending quality time with DC.

Is there an actual reason you don't want to go part time?

SuzukiLi Thu 02-Nov-17 23:56:21

Because this degree is 4 years already and I don't want to be doing it forever. I'd like to be qualified before I'm 30 so I can start earning some money.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Thu 02-Nov-17 23:56:22

How long have you been on the course and how long does it have left to run?

Uni usually has long holidays. When do you break up and how much time will you get off over Christmas?

Shadow666 Fri 03-Nov-17 00:00:08

The only suggestion I would make is to get up earlier to study and go to bed earlier. It's what I do as I also get very tired in the evening and can't concentrate properly. So, go to bed at 9pm and get up at 4 or 5am to study and do housework.

SuzukiLi Fri 03-Nov-17 00:02:41

shadow I did try that but my meds knock me out so much that I can barely get up at half 6.

RemainOptimistic Fri 03-Nov-17 00:19:21

A 4 year degree done part time does not last for ever!

Come on now, you can't have it both ways. There's a limited number of hours in the day. Everyone has to make decisions about how to spend them.

If you go part time you could pick up part time work that fits better around DC and has a shorter commute.

Where are you in the degree? Year 2? Talk to your uni, nothing to lose by just discussing it to find out what your options are.

Appuskidu Fri 03-Nov-17 00:27:49

I really wouldn't be going to the gym for an hour on top of a ten+ hour day if I had a three year old I wanted to be with.

SuzukiLi Fri 03-Nov-17 00:30:47

I know it sounds like I'm a crappy mum, but the gym is really really important for my mental health. Which is dodgy at the best of times!

paxillin Fri 03-Nov-17 00:31:12

Hm, running out of options there. You don't want to drop the gym, get up earlier, go part time or pause for a year. MNetters often come up with creative solutions, but I doubt they'll magic up an extra hour.

SuzukiLi Fri 03-Nov-17 00:32:05

I think I just need a kick up the ass.

SuzukiLi Fri 03-Nov-17 00:33:02

I really struggle with change, I've been a stay at home mum for 3 years and I don't think my brain has caught up with my new routine yet

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