Deputy manager excluding people at work?

[RainbowsAndCrystals]

We're a small department. 15 in total (not including the manager).

We have a deputy manager. They organise things like lunches and nights out. The same 5 people are constantly excluded from these, maybe included.

They talk openly about these social gatherings at work.

I just think it's bad coming from someone higher up who shouldn't segregate people.

I have no issue with people going out together from work but I think when it's a large group then it's pretty horrible to keep excluding the same people. Aibu?

[ForalltheSaints]

If that is their main or only social life, maybe you should be glad not to be included. Though it does not create a good working atmosphere in my opinion.

[Reflexella]

Poor on the part of the deputy.
I’d probably give feedback to the manager (in a professional manner) to imply that there is a lot of team building going on but only with half the team!

[Rainyboooooo]

Are they definitely being excluded or choosing not to go?

I hate work socialising with a passion.

[Allthewaves]

Not much you can do u less it's linked to work, ie group emails being sent on works email excluding people. Otherwise it's a group of people going out who happen to work together.

A woman in worked with complained bitterly to management that we (me and two girls I worked with) were excluding her from activities after work. She was bluntly told what we do in our own time is none of her business. We were a group of 20 people working together so not like we weren't excluding her as such

[rachelandmike77]

Discussing these social events at work is annoying but there isn’t much you can do. As long as it doesn’t affect you carrying out your tasks? The manager isn’t ‘excluding people at work’ at all, it’s outside of work

All they can do is stop discussing it - as it’s outside of work HR can’t tell them to stop/who to invite. Could you start going for lunch/nights out with the others that aren’t invited and build friendships with them? Or join the group for lunch?

It’s not like you’re being excluded from work events, just social gatherings which you can’t really force an invite too. They probably haven’t noticed that you’re hurt by this, as in their mind they’re just going out with their friends? Do they know that you would even like to join them?

[RainbowsAndCrystals]

No it's big lunch events during work.

[BenLui]

Can you organise one that includes everyone?

Or the next time they organise one, organise something else with the other 5?