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to be shocked at this road rage incident that was more or less my fault

(110 Posts)
ilovewelshrarebit123 Thu 02-Nov-17 15:10:47

I was driving somewhere unfamiliar and I turned right in front of a car. This car was driving round a bend very fast, and I swerved as did the driver and apart from being very shaken, everyone was unhurt and no damage at all to our cars.

It was completely my fault and I pulled over to apologise. What happened next was just so shocking and scary.

He ran over to my car screaming and shouting at me, I apologised, said it was completely my fault and asked if he was OK.

He had completely lost the plot and two men in a van pulled over as they could see what was going on. One of them cracked a joke about women drivers trying to lighten things I think, but the driver just wouldn’t calm down and continued ranting, he was flailing his arms around and it was pretty scary.

I accept he had every right to be upset and I apologised several times. I also had my 10 year old DD with me so she witnessed all this. My best friend was behind in her car and she and her daughter also witnessed this.

Next thing a boy in his dressing gown appears out of the angry drivers car, he looked around 10. He approached my window and got right in my face and called me a fucking twat.

The men in the van said that’s not on to angry man and went to get out of the van. Angry man then turned his anger onto his boy!

I just can’t stop thinking about it and I’m so angry with myself for making the mistake. But AIBU to think to think his behaviour was out of order, I’m just grateful the van men stopped as I’ve a feeling it could have been worse.

SilverSpot Thu 02-Nov-17 15:18:22

Yikes - scary stuff!

Anyoneanytimeanywhere Thu 02-Nov-17 15:21:47

That is horrible. There is nowhere in the Highway Code that says it’s ok to verbally abuse and petrify another driver and their passenger because of a mistake.
You’d be within your rights to report the other driver.

ilovewelshrarebit123 Thu 02-Nov-17 15:25:04

I was so shaken and embarrassed I didn’t get his registration otherwise I think I would.

My friend gave me a hug when we got to our destination.

GaspingGekko Thu 02-Nov-17 15:31:58

So sorry to hear this happened to you. Similar happened to me last year, totally my fault and the other car swerved to miss me and hit a wall. The driver spent over 20mins screaming and swearing at me. I was heavily pregnant and with DS (3) in the car. I spent over a fortnight running through the event over and over in my mind and to this day I regret not reporting him.
Try hard to let it go. Everyone makes mistakes, no-one was hurt, it's not your fault that the other driver clearly has issues. flowers

KungFuEric Thu 02-Nov-17 15:32:11

It sounds very upsetting for you, hopefully you're okay but you'll remember to drive more safely and take due caution in future.

I can understand fear can make people lash out, if you thought someone very nearly killed you and your son you might have blind panic and rage too.

DontDrinkDontSmoke Thu 02-Nov-17 15:34:25

I parked badly once and was screamed at by a male driver. He got a police caution for his efforts.

PJBanana Thu 02-Nov-17 15:35:29

Better to just forget, although that does sound horrible OP. And sadly, I very much doubt his reaction would’ve been the same if you’d been a man.

I’m trying to picture the incident you describe, and if he was speeding then he was also at fault.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic Thu 02-Nov-17 15:42:17

You've made an error and admit it. It happens to everyone. His speed will also have been a factor. He would have had more reaction time to your error if he'd approached the bend with more caution.

He is totally unreasonable for his reaction afterwards.

Sadly from the behaviour his son has learned, it sounds normal for him- you were just in the way of his temper this time.

flimflaminurjams Thu 02-Nov-17 15:44:37

Some people are just permanently angry and spoiling for a fight. If a kid uses that kind of language well I think that says it all really.

Put it down to him being a cretin. Try not to dwell on it. Remember that some good Samaritans stopped so not all are monsters.

whatsthecomingoverthehill Thu 02-Nov-17 15:51:03

Of course he was out of order. It sounds like he has committed a public order offense, which he could get fined for. If you are in that sort of position again I would call the police. They take a very dim view of his sort of aggression.

deadlierCatch Thu 02-Nov-17 15:53:10

He shouted and waved his arms around after avoiding what could have been a fatal incident.

I suspect it was adrenaline.

You've admitted it was your stupidity. What more do you want?

SlothMama Thu 02-Nov-17 15:55:08

I don't know why you would stop to apologise to be honest there are so many nutters out there, I'd realise my mistake and move on from it.

araiwa Thu 02-Nov-17 15:55:15

Ive lost my shit at people who have pulled out in front of me.

I ride a motorbike and if i hit you i will be seriously injured or killed- that is scary and shocking.

There is no fucking excuse for pulling out in front of someone which causes them to take emergency action

soupforbrains Thu 02-Nov-17 15:58:26

I believe that road rage, as well as being verbal assault, is also part of the bundle of 'minor' offences which were labelled as Anti-Social Driving which earns the driver a £100 fine and 3 points on their license so you would be WELL within your rights to report this.

araiwa Thu 02-Nov-17 16:00:38

also you will open yourself up to being reported for driving without due care or consideration or something similar

deadlierCatch Thu 02-Nov-17 16:01:29

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ilovewelshrarebit123 Thu 02-Nov-17 16:06:06

If he took my registration and reported me to the police, I’d admit it. I was in the wrong.

I get he was shaken and he had every right to be upset, but his behaviour In front of my child and his wasn’t on.

HotNatured Thu 02-Nov-17 16:07:14

Well yes you made a mistake, but he was going too fast, so he was just as much at fault. Poor you, I cycle in London sometimes and get shouted and sworn at by men and women on a regular basis. It's shocking really, the amount of anger some people carry around with them, they really need help. Imagine living or working with people like that shock

HotNatured Thu 02-Nov-17 16:10:11

And someone made a point about the guy being full of adrenaline and no wonder he went crazy. I've been nearly killed more times than I care to remember. I've managed to keep my shit together. It's called 'anger management'. There really is no excuse for the type of behaviour outlined by the OP hmm

nosleepforme Thu 02-Nov-17 16:13:21

he was upset and probably reacted out of shock.
that is very nice of the men in the van - i would have been touched.
i think the most important thing is that you showed your daughter to do the right thing and to remain calm.
the behaviour of the other child is shocking, i guess he could have reacted this way seeing his parent out of sorts and not knowing how to deal with it and dad turned on him because he was upset with his behaviour, but equally didnt know how to deal with his own shock. that probably made for quite a scene that was never truly intended.
us humans can react really crazy when we are in shock. don't worry about it. he was wrong, but he probably didnt mean it in the way it came across

Katinkka Thu 02-Nov-17 16:13:29

I’d report him. We all make mistakes but verbal abuse is not on.

inkAdvantage Thu 02-Nov-17 16:17:16

I feel that this thread is a sad reflection on society.

"Yes, you did nearly kill him but he said bad words to you. Call the police!"

frieda909 Thu 02-Nov-17 16:17:33

My first ever time driving after passing my test I had to turn right into a busy road. I pulled out in front of someone when he was going faster than I thought and he had to brake quite hard. Totally my fault and I 100% accept that.

However, this guy then decided the appropriate response was to speed up so that he was now alongside me, on the wrong side of the road (again, a busy main road), so that he could roll down his window and call me every name under the sun. I was 17 years old and a new driver and it completely terrified me sad

BlackBanana Thu 02-Nov-17 16:20:26

"Yes, you did nearly kill him but he said bad words to you. Call the police!

Not really accurate is it? The other car was speeding and contributed, but OP admitted fault and apologised and didn't deserve the abuse she got.

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