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Am I an alcoholic?

(58 Posts)
KrayKray00 Thu 02-Nov-17 14:06:29

It is actually laughable because I am sat in the pub whilst typing this!

I am 26 and I have always “liked” a drink. Since a young age (13) I have drank to the point of being able to do it in my home because my mother didn’t want me to do it on the street.

I can control it. I had no alcohol for 2 months earlier this year and I was so proud of myself.

It didn’t use to be a daily thing but it has started to become a daily occurance. However only if I am out.

For example; I have just finished doing my voluntery work and I have come straight to Wetherspoons for a beer.

Yesterday whilst I was out shopping I went to Wetherspoons for a beer.

I only have one or two but I drink alone. If I go out, which is rare, on a weekend child free, I do not know when to stop, once I start drinking I drink myself into oblivion. Wake up the next day and cry. Hangover and emotions!

It is coming up to a date which upsets me each year. I have recently been diagnosed with severe anxiety and I have been put on sertraline and sleeping tablets.

But I am getting to the point where if I go out I wonder where the nearest pub is. Even if it’s jjst for one.

I do not mean this as a stealth brag but I’m trying to describe my situation, I am a young female who likes to look after herself, I do my hair and make up and I get funny looks when I walk into a pub for a pint. I have two children and a degree. I volunteer in a courthouse and I do promotional work at exhibitions. It is not a financial drain my drinking but I am becoming worried I am depended on alcohol.

Would I see a gp or is it just like having a coffee if I am drinking 1-2 pints a day? I feel like they would look at me like I’m not an alcoholic as it isn’t exactly a bottle of wine or spirits but I drink for any occasion, if I am sad or happy.

I am waffling now and probably going to get a battering but I cannot tell anyone in real life because I don’t want them thinking I have an issue with alcohol.

Sorry and thank you if you got this far.

Mrsfloss Thu 02-Nov-17 14:07:24

Is it costing you more than money?

Are you having consequences?

SandysMam Thu 02-Nov-17 14:10:52

If you can stop (even if you like it and don’t want to) then you are not an alcoholic, if you can’t, then I would say you are.

KrayKray00 Thu 02-Nov-17 14:11:54

No, I sit on my own and read or look at my phone. My bills are paid. And I go home and carry on with life. I do not continue drinking at home 90% of the time, sometimes I do if the children are in bed but not drunk as I am in charge of them (if that makes sense?!)

There haven’t been consequences but when I do go “out out” I have drank to the point of saying too much, wether to my partner or someone about my past which I find hard to deal with as I am quite a private person and become extremely embarrassed that I have told people some of my deepest worries, fears and experiences hence crying the next day.

whiskyowl Thu 02-Nov-17 14:14:02

You sound like you have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol and are relying on it for some kind of comfort. I would exercise that willpower to cut down a bit.

I'm not one of those Mumsnetters who thinks more than one glass of wine a fortnight is too much. I think people are really silly about it on here, in fact. But even I think this sounds like you are self-medicating with alcohol and it could easily slide out of hand if you don't get a grip on it now.

Duckstar Thu 02-Nov-17 14:15:09

If you google Drink Aware they have numbers of various helplines (drinkline and A.A). You don’t have to be an “alcoholic”, but they provide support if you have concerns about your drinking. It’s confidnetial. Might be worth speaking to someone with experience.

SloeSloeQuickQuickGin Thu 02-Nov-17 14:18:06

If you are asking the question - then you know the answer.

Good luck, however you decide to tackle it.

Kolonya Thu 02-Nov-17 14:19:37

The fact that you're wondering probably means that in your heart you know that you do .... some things you said jumped out such as 'I can control it' - usually said by people not in control... 'i like to drink alone', possibly a sign of dependence and also that you can't stop when you're child free. So when your self imposed boundaries are not there i.e. Child responsibility, you go overboard. Yes, I'm afraid even your moderated drink levels are too much... and during those 2 months, did you think about it non-stop? The answer may also give you a clue. Can you do 6 months or a year? If yes, you might be alright. There are better forums than Aibu to ask this question. I think one thread was called the battle babes bus? It's in relationships I think. Try asking there, the advice you get may well save your life. In the meantime, from a lay persons perspective, someone who really can control alcohol intake, then yes, I think you have a problem. Best of luck to you and your family x

maddiemookins16mum Thu 02-Nov-17 14:24:22

Ask yourself this 'are you powerless when it comes to alcohol', if that answer is yes then it is very likely you have a problem.

My advise, go on the AA website, use the live chat, get some advice and ask for some literature. It's a starting point.

KrayKray00 Thu 02-Nov-17 14:26:05

sloe I’m not sure what I think. That’s why I cannot talk to any one in RL. In case I am. Maybe I don’t want to hear it?

I am a functioning alcohol? I’m not a full blown wake up in the morning and neeed a drink alcoholic but it is getting to the point of “is it too early for a drink” if I am out?

If I am at home, I don’t feel the need for a drink unless I feel like having one at dinner times (6pm-ish) and only if there is alcohol in the house.

I think as a PP said I am self medicating with alcohol? Dealing with issues through drinking. Obviously drink doesn’t cure them, but short terms masks them. Maybe?

I cannot imagine never drinking again but I wish I could control it and not rely on it. I think I will have a look at helplines rather than waste my drs time.

Wolfiefan Thu 02-Nov-17 14:27:25

Alcoholic isn't a very useful term.
Anyone who drinks themselves into oblivion and drinks every day/thinks about it so much clearly has a problematic relationship with alcohol.
It has too much of a hold over you. So what are you going to do?

MrTrebus Thu 02-Nov-17 14:27:52

You just sound lonely or unhappy in some way OP Maybe explore that feeling as the "why" of your drinking rather than the drinking itself. Tackle the issue behind the drinking and it may lead to the alcohol issue righting itself too.

KrayKray00 Thu 02-Nov-17 14:28:18

Sorry for all the question marks in my last post!

Typing that one and reading the replies has made me realise, I have answered my own question.

sundowners Thu 02-Nov-17 14:31:18

OP- I don[t think you are. Is it more the warm pub environment/the relative anonymity of say a large pub like Weatherpersons you perhaps enjoy even more then the drink itself? Can you still go in and order a pint of diet coke instead- but still get to feel the experience?

Or try going in but reducing it to say half a pint/a weaker beer and then going onto just having a diet coke.

IMO if you are just having 1-2 drinks and not drinking to oblivion/ getting drunk (regularly) then you're not.
If you do'nt wake up and need a drink
You don't regulary/ really ever drink before noon?

ssd Thu 02-Nov-17 14:31:28

be proud you are looking closely at this

and have a look at this thread, fab advice, help, support etc

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3075894-the-brave-babes-battle-bus-braving-the-wine-witch-her-alcohol-free-autumn

confused123456 Thu 02-Nov-17 14:34:16

I was in a similar position when I was younger op. I was always allowed to drink at home, so I wasn't doing it in secret. My parents preferred to know exactly what I had and where it came from.
I'm not an alcoholic, I've never ever felt like I NEED a drink. If I don't have a drink I am perfectly fine. However I drink in the evenings most days (there will be nights when I just don't feel like it), but I drink because I enjoy it. I have a very high tolerance and don't get hangovers or drunk. But yes I can drink a bottle of wine to myself in an evening (say I open it at 7 when I sit down, and go to bed at 11, that's 4 hours. A bottle is only 3 large glasses, so 3 glasses in 4 hours isn't much at all to me). Or spirits and mixers I have an even higher tolerance for. Or fruity cider.
I know most will say I drink too much and should stop. But I'm not addicted, I could stop if I wanted to. But I don't see why I should. I'm not falling over being sick from drinking, or nursing a terrible hangover the next day, so where's the harm?

LondonGirl83 Thu 02-Nov-17 14:34:16

I'm not a professional but I think you could benefit from some professional advice. Try to speak to your GP or one of the hotlines mentioned above which might be able to provide appropriate support.

You may or may not be an alcoholic but it does sound like you have a drinking problem as well as some unresolved issues from your past. It might be worth tackling them both at the same time.

Good luck

pisacake Thu 02-Nov-17 14:34:17

Hmm it's interesting. I like alcohol, and drink too much of it, but when I was in Indonesia for months and only had shit lager to drink I drank much less just because it wasn't very nice. OTOH a friend who is a total alcoholic would drink whatever she could get her hands on and bought a bottle of cheap booze every day in Indonesia.

I still drink too much though.

KrayKray00 Thu 02-Nov-17 14:36:45

During my two months when I didn’t drink people who knew me actually laughed and didn’t believe me. Some people see me as a “drinker” as I am someone who drinks pints and can drink quite a few. So when I went out sober they would try to tempt me to drink. Not exactly a circle of friends but more so “people I know”. I did drink alcohol free alcohol though because of the taste if We went out. I loved the feeling waking up the next day fresh and seeing how people change when drunk and I’m sober!

My DP isn’t a big drinker which helps and he doesn’t drink beer but spirits which I don’t really like.

I do not drink before noon - unless on holiday or a special occasion maybe no earlier that 2pm.

However, sometimes I think the only thing that does stop me from continuing to drink is my children. Doing the school run, cooking the tea, bedtime... if there was no limit would I even stop?

LondonGirl83 Thu 02-Nov-17 14:38:30

confused123456 what about your liver? A bottle of wine most nights is very unhealthy even if you aren't an alcoholic per se...

MistressDeeCee Thu 02-Nov-17 14:39:05

Speak to Drink Aware, tell them all you've said here, and they'll guide you. They're great, and non-judgmental. You know alcohol is an issue for you, that's why you're here questioning it. Good on you for facing that you do have a drink issue, and trying to nip it in the bud now before it (possibly) gets out of control. Good luckflowers

KrayKray00 Thu 02-Nov-17 14:39:34

confused that is it 100%. That is how I could describe it!

MsHarry Thu 02-Nov-17 14:43:12

It does seem odd to think of going into a pub in the day on your own. Have you tried replacing that feeling with grabbing a coffee instead? I used to drink daily, only 1 or 2 at home with DH in the evening but have done dry Jan for the last few years and now only drink fri to mon. It has had the effect of reducing what I drink when I do drink as it takes less alcohol to feel the same effect.

MsHarry Thu 02-Nov-17 14:43:38

fri to sun i mean.

Bluntness100 Thu 02-Nov-17 14:43:50

I don’t think you are no, no more than I think someone who buys a bar of chocolate on the way home is a sugar addict and needs to stop, or someone who had a costas on the way home and is addicted to caffeine and they need to stop.

It is unusual for young females to go for a pint on their own during the day, but I suspect it’s something you’ve become used to and use it as a crutch.

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