I'm 37 U is early 60s we've had a few run ins over the years due to him being a selfish prick e.g my mum told him that she wanted to take my nan out for a special afternoon tea as a surprise for her 80th he said no don't do that i doubt she'd enjoy it..my nans 80th comes and we go visit my nan she all happy and excited because just got back from surprise afternoon tea with..yes you've guessed it my sly af U..my mum held it together but was v v upset in car on way home..its my grandad 90th in December and we all been invited to my U house for a get together to celebrate he hasn't asked me and dh and ds direct this is through my dm..i really don't want to attend but I'd upset others if I don't but I fucking hate the man should I just rise above it?
I would put aside your differences and go to celebrate with your Grandad, as it's about him and not your uncle. After that then you can avoid him but for the sake of an afternoon for your Grandad I would go. Is your Mum going?
I think you may be overreacting about the going for tea incident. Your gran would probably have loved to go with your mum another day (is going out for tea special only once in a lifetime) and your mum didn't have to change her plans to please her git of a brother anyway. But if you don't like him, just don't go. It doesn't have to be a big deal.
Yanbu. What a horrible man. But Think about sending your poor mother to see that awful man herself. I know it is a shitty situation but maybe for your mum you could put your own feelings aside and go in support of her.
I’d go and put your feelings aside for the sake of your mum and grandad. But outside of looking after your grandad hopefully you won’t have to have much to do with your uncle. Stealing your mum’s idea was so mean.
I didn't go to my nans funeral as was in middle if v difficult painful pregnancy didn't want to travel my lovely grandad was fine and understood he knew I adored her..my uncle been shagging me off for it instead of speaking to me oh and I didn't invite him to my wedding last year so there's that...🙈