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To think DH should help out when he books a day off.

(19 Posts)
Heckneck Thu 02-Nov-17 11:02:34

I don't begrudge him a day's holiday but just wondering if aibu here. So I've took my eldest to school this morning n took youngest along too. When I get back he's gone shopping, I call to ask if he can look after our youngest this afternoon whilst I'm at work but he said no cos he's shopping and wants to get breakfast. It would of saved me running about but its obviously not as important to him. AIBU to think he should help or am I being a cow trying to begrudge him some time off?

wowbutter Thu 02-Nov-17 11:07:09

He is entitled to a day off, if you are too. So, when is your next day off to do as you please?

If you don't get one, neither does he. In my house we don't have days off for ourselves, annual leave is used for family days. Very occasionally one of us will have an afternoon to themselves, not a whole day.

Heckneck Thu 02-Nov-17 11:09:27

I don't get a day off. My birthday maybe but even then I still sort kids etc

wowbutter Thu 02-Nov-17 11:10:28

So, why does he?

troodiedoo Thu 02-Nov-17 11:11:35

It's not uncommon for some men to view holidays as holidays from everything, and mum to use holidays for childcare angry

You need to look at your overall situation and decide if it's fair, then discuss. Planning ahead should reduce resentments

Heckneck Thu 02-Nov-17 11:11:56

I don't know tbh.

Fruitcorner123 Thu 02-Nov-17 11:13:36

He is unreasonable but I am surprised you havent discussed this in advance. What has he booked the day off for? Did you know he had booked it. My DH would book a day off midweek either to spend with me and DC or for some other specific reason like a hospital appnt. Either way we would have discussed and planned it beforehand.

ArcheryAnnie Thu 02-Nov-17 11:15:16

I think you should book yourself a day off, inform DH, then have a day shopping and eating breakfast out. Don't do any childcare, school runs, nothing. If DH demurs, then he needs to explain why he gets a day off and you don't.

idontwanttodothisanymore Thu 02-Nov-17 11:17:28

Before my DD started full time school, I would leave her with DH if he had a day off work, while I took DS to school or went somewhere.

Why couldn’t your DH take the youngest shopping?

Migraleve Thu 02-Nov-17 11:17:29

Who normally looks after your DC while you are at work? And why is he having breakfast in the afternoon?

Heckneck Thu 02-Nov-17 11:17:37

He had a 30 mins app this morning but that's it. Just wanted to make sure I wasn't being resentful for no reason. He didn't discuss shopping or breakfast that just happened.

Heckneck Thu 02-Nov-17 11:18:23

He isn't having breakfast in the afternoon. My parents.

Migraleve Thu 02-Nov-17 11:24:30

I wouldn’t give him the choice tbh. If you are off you take responsibility for your family.

I would be embarrassed to drop my DC with my parents while my DH swanned off doing whatever he liked.

BhajiAllTheWay Thu 02-Nov-17 15:09:06

my ex ( note the ex part!) used to book himself holidays and do nothing at all. He'd use them all up by ringing in on the day which narked his boss no end due to the short notice. Then if the kids were ill or I was or if there was anything to do....he had no holidays left or said he darent ask for time off!! It drove me crazy. He knew exactly what he was doing. So no OP, he should be helping you.

Hillarious Thu 02-Nov-17 16:07:41

Where would your youngest be whilst you're at work? You must have had some arrangement in place anyway?

RandomMess Thu 02-Nov-17 16:12:14

So your parents are doing childcare whilst he has a day of leisure?

TheNaze73 Thu 02-Nov-17 16:30:00

Did he actually want children?

Nikephorus Thu 02-Nov-17 17:21:27

But do you not spend a day's holiday because you genuinely can't or because you choose not to (and that includes not bothering to arrange childcare)? If he makes the effort to actually take a day properly off and you don't then that's your problem, but if you have to take days off to expressly look after the kids etc. then it's different.
I don't see the problem in OP's parents looking after the kids while he has the day off if they're happy to do so - there's nothing to stop OP making the same arrangement.

ownedbySWD Thu 02-Nov-17 17:36:00

DH took a few days off work recently, just for a lark really. He mucked in at home, did some DIY, looked after the baby so I could go out and run errands/clear my head.

He also slept in, and messed about on his computer for hours at a time. I think he got the balance right.

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