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To stop holding doors for people

(36 Posts)
Areyoufree Thu 02-Nov-17 09:26:01

Can we just all agree that, unless they will actually hit them in the face, you don't have to hold doors open for other people? I'm getting sick of either glancing back at the person behind me, trying to calculate if they are in the 'polite zone', meaning that I have to hold the door for them, or running up a corridor to prevent the person who is patiently waiting with the door open for me from getting annoyed.

Let's just stop this now. It's getting silly.

Lethaldrizzle Thu 02-Nov-17 09:27:28

Holding doors open got people is a great thing to do.why wouldn't you? confused

Morphene Thu 02-Nov-17 09:28:36

yanbu

it would also prevent those awkward othering moments when you hold the door for a male colleague who suddenly decides its 500 years ago and out of chivalry he needs to decline your offer and somehow reverse the situation....

Ttbb Thu 02-Nov-17 09:36:37

Only if you want to look uncouth

InsomniacAnonymous Thu 02-Nov-17 09:52:00

I will carry on holding doors for people.

BernardBlacksHangover Thu 02-Nov-17 09:53:34

Let's just stop this now. It's getting silly.

No

FinallyHere Thu 02-Nov-17 09:55:29

How difficult is it really? I like to hold doors open for people, it makes my world just a little kinder, with no downsides. What is not to like?

CherryChasingDotMuncher Thu 02-Nov-17 09:58:02

YABU, it’s basic manners. If they don’t thank you just do the PA British tradition of bellowing “YOU’RE WELCOME” at them grin

Hellomaryimback Thu 02-Nov-17 09:58:59

It depends !

I can get very stabby when I hold the door open for a healthy adult and they just fucking walk through and go to even give a nod or a 'thanks' - just waltz through like the the chief door opener waiting to open doors for folk

But when I'm stressed with my two small kids - one in a push chair it's really helpful if some one just keeps the door open to help me through!

Dobopdidoo1 Thu 02-Nov-17 10:00:13

I know what you mean about rude dicks who don’t say thank you whilst tailcoating the person you actually held the door for. That said I think it’s nice to hold the door.

I did once get confrontational though when I held the door open for someone coming in after me at a cafe. Cheeky bugger just waltzed through and went straight to the counter expecting to be seated before me. shock

frieda909 Thu 02-Nov-17 10:00:44

I try not to hold doors open for people more than a couple of metres behind me. I feel like I’m just making them run, rather than doing them a favour!

Sometimes it’s just instinctive though and you can’t help it.

To get from my office at work to the nearest loo, you have to go through a long corridor with about seven doors to open. I wince every time there’s someone in front of or behind me because it’s excruciatingly awkward (in a hilarious way). After you’ve said ‘thanks’ at the first door and ‘cheers’ at the second one and ‘haha, thanks again!’ at the third one it inevitably descends into an awkward silence where both of you just want to get through the rest of them as quickly as possible.

juddyrockingcloggs Thu 02-Nov-17 10:00:47

Nah I’ll continue to hold doors for people because it’s just pleasant but if someone refrains from common decency and doesn’t utter a word of thanks then they’ll get the arse end of my mood.

KC225 Thu 02-Nov-17 10:02:01

Let's NOT stop it. I have moved to a European country where it's not done and it's horrible, rude and uncouth

Areyoufree Thu 02-Nov-17 10:02:14

I don't have a problem with holding doors open when you reach them at the same time, or close to the same time (hence the 'hit them in the face' caveat outlined above). It's the odd scenario when you feel obliged to hold the door for someone who is still a long way behind you, so they feel obliged to hurry up. I find it really annoying -both the trying to work out if they are close enough for me to hold the door, and the being forced to hurry because someone else is holding the door for me. Seems like a weird social convention, but looks like (most) other people enjoy it!

IhaveapenIhavepineapple Thu 02-Nov-17 10:02:27

The mention of the polite zone reminded me of this

youtu.be/Cg5MJyEHKGo

upperlimit Thu 02-Nov-17 10:03:24

just do the PA British tradition of bellowing “YOU’RE WELCOME” at them

I can't help myself from doing that, it's like a reflex.

Cantseethewoods Thu 02-Nov-17 10:04:44

I'm on crutches at the moment (bunion correction to both feet). I can walk but only very slowly. When someone opens the door for me, they generally have misjudged how slowly I'm going and I feel obliged to say "thank you" and "I appreciate it" and "very kind of you" repeatedly to fill the space as I slowly shuffle towards the door grin.

Areyoufree Thu 02-Nov-17 10:06:51

frieda909 Oh god. That's another one I can't stand - the multiple thank yous. It just gets weird after a while.

CW1805 Thu 02-Nov-17 10:07:40

It's nice, I appreciate someone holding a door for me and hope I am appreciated for doing the same for someone else. It's just polite, why wouldn't you want to be nice? I doubt it really ruins your day - and I will say, probably with much disagreement, that I bloody love it when DH holds a door open for me then slaps me on the arse when I walk though!

viques Thu 02-Nov-17 10:07:47

Yes let's do that. And stop saying please and thank you. And let's start pushing in front of other people in queues at post offices and coffee shops, and taking up more than one seat in trains planes and buses. I would also like to initiate honking car horns at those ridiculous slow coaches who refuse to run across the road when you have stopped for them at zebra crossings. It will make life so much easier once we stop pretending to like each other.

In fact I think it would be a good idea if there were curfews imposed so that when I go out I am less likely to come across people who give me the rage or rudely try to make MY LIFE a bit more pleasant by being polite and thoughtful and doing little acts of kindness and basic human consideration . What do you think OP, shall we start a petition?

disahsterdahling Thu 02-Nov-17 11:02:32

I kind of see where you are coming from OP but on balance I think it's better to hold the door and for the person to have to hurry up than let it slam in their face.

The thing that makes me really cross is where there are double doors but only one of them is open. Instead of opening the other door and coming through the person waits for you. I always open the other door for them!

Fruitcorner123 Thu 02-Nov-17 11:07:37

YABU

IhaveapenIhavepineapple love that!

Vitalogy Thu 02-Nov-17 11:09:49

IhaveapenIhavepineapple grin

I think we need to keep on doing it. We need more politeness not less.

Bluntness100 Thu 02-Nov-17 11:10:00

Gosh, really, this is a very small thing to get wound up about and start a thread on. I’ll keep holding the door, I don’t see it as a major inconvenience, and I don’t find judging distance overly strenuous. hmm

Nikephorus Thu 02-Nov-17 13:15:21

I'll carry on holding them open thanks. I'll also carry on sarcastically saying "you're welcome" when they're too bloody bad-mannered to say thank you. The same also applies when me & DDog stop to let people past first on a narrow bit of pavement. (It's now got to the stage when I'm chuffed to bits when someone does actually thank me - even more so when it's a child)

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