To be annoyed at these childminders?

[Twopeapods]

Me and a friend have been meeting up most Wednesdays at the local soft play centre, and lately two childminders have been meeting there also on a Wednesday.

Me and my friends usually let our kids play in the toddler area where we sit while we have a cuppa, then when the kids want to go into the big area we go with them and take them down the slides, through tunnels, etc. They are capable but we just all go in and have a good play.
We have never seen the childminders come in to check/play/watch the children. They are between one and a half to two and a half. And they have four children between them. Last week one of the ladies brought a little boy in to the toilet while me and DD were in, and when the little boy finished he said 'I need to wash my hands' and the childminder said 'no, just leave it and go play'. I was quite shocked especially as the little boy had asked!

And often the children cling to me and my friend and join in with us to play. We usually don't mind too much if everyone is behaving, but today I just got really annoyed. The kids were wanting us to help them climb up the steps, go on the splat ball etc and when we went to go to another part with our kids, one of the other kids tantrumed because we were no longer there to help her up. I've now just been saying when the kids ask, 'go find your adult if you want to do that'. And when one of the boys starting pushing all the other kids in full view of the childminder, I told him it's not nice to push etc. While she just sits pretending not to see. And it is quite often one of their minded that are doing the pushing etc. The women are getting paid to look after these kids, and I would be furious as one of their parents and found out that they just get left to their own devices in the play centre etc. It just seems so lazy!
Surely IANBU????

[Inkandbone]

The idea of soft play is that kids are left to their own devices.

There is nothing worse than kids trying to play on the equipment and being unable to as an adult is stuck like a beached whale in the coloured balls !

[nokidshere]

How do you know they are childminders?

And why wouldn't you say to them 'please could you come and get your child"? When she is pretending not to see.

[Waddlingwanda]

I don’t think YABU but then it’s also a bugbear of mine when anyone does this.
I avoid the places at all costs

[WorraLiberty]

YANBU about the hand washing, especially as he asked and YANBU about them not watching the kids if they're pushing etc (and they saw it).

But YABU to be annoyed about the kids clinging to you. If they see other adults playing with kids on the equipment etc, they're bound to want to get involved.

They're too young to know that you are parents and not staff.

[Snap8TheCat]

How do you know they are childminders?

[Twopeapods]

We've entered at the same time before and they get some sort of childminder discount.
It's a very big soft play and we go in to help ours up the big steps or go down with them on the big slides.
But when the kids fall or start crying over something the women don't even come to check why. I feel bad for the kids but I'm just saying to them to go get their adult etc if they want up on the big slides etc. One of the boys asked me to take him for a poo today. Go get your adult on repeat.

[AnnieAnoniMouse]

Ridiculous.

If YOU want to 'have a good play' then carry on, but mind other people's children while you're galumping around in there. It's a safe space designed for children to go and play independently.

CM/Nanny/Granny/Parent - matters not which, is perfectly entitled to sit & chat, drink coffee, read the paper or piss about on their phones.

When you use a CM you are paying an adult to look after your child, not be their playmate.

[ElizabethShaw]

Its so dangerous to go down slides with little children, you could break their leg!

Soft play is for children, not adults.

[AnnieAnoniMouse]

You say they're between 1.5 & 2.5 do you seriously think 'Go get your adult' means something to them?

[Inkandbone]

I worry about getting stuck on the slides and creating a pileup of toddlers behind me.

[Twopeapods]

Also we go straight after school drop off so it's usually only us and them for most of the time we are there, so it is not busy. And we do not get in the way. And we do leave them to play in that area when they want to play in the bottom part! Mostly in there keeping an eye on them.

[Snap8TheCat]

So it’s not busy, they’re getting them out the house and using money they’re being paid to entertain the children (just like you) and leaving them to play (just like you) and you have a problem because they are cms? I don’t get it.

I have child approach me all the time for help. They are little and don’t understand they should go to their adult.

[SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower]

Similar here. There are a group of childminders that bring about 15 kids to soft play. Every single time I see tiny ones wandering off out of the preschooler bit (they're in separate areas). Every time a tiny one gets into the 5+ frame.

Every single time the childminders haven't noticed. I go there a lot, I know that they're childminders, and I'm shocked at how fucking lax they are..

I know it's soft play, and you're supposed to be able to throw them in and be able to sit with a coffee, but when you're in charge of 4 or more children, and you're being paid to watch them, then you need to actually look after them.

Just this week I stopped one child stocking her fingers in the fan of the freezer, caught another one as he fell off a ride on machine (only about 18mo, and no other adult in sight).

Also, vtech walkers are not meant to be pushed down a slide. That will only end badly.

[rachrach2]

You are definitely not being unreasonable - I’d be gutted if I found out my childminder did that. I’m very confident she doesn’t but I expect her to act as a parent should when at places likes this.

[SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower]

I'm talking about a failure to do their jobs, btw. Leaving a child to struggle to climb in a soft play environment is one thing. If my childminder was leaving my kid to cry in the way I've seen this group ignore them, I'd sack them in a second.

[Twopeapods]

I don't mean btw I expect them to go in and be a constant playmate but I think they need to keep a closer eye on them and to make them wash their hands!

[Mumof56]

Your children are able to do it without you. Have you issues letting them have independence?

Yabu to be an adult in a child play zone and them come crying on the internet because other children are annoying you.

[Twopeapods]

power that's exactly what I am talking about.

[WorraLiberty]

Annie whilst I agree with most of your other points, I completely disagree with... CM/Nanny/Granny/Parent - matters not which, is perfectly entitled to sit & chat, drink coffee, read the paper or piss about on their phones.

Soft play areas are designed to be child friendly (obviously) but they're not babysitters.

Nobody should be reading papers or pissing about on their phones, instead of keeping an eye on their kids. Especially as they're only 1.5 to 2.5 years old.

[Kezzamo]

Op you are definitely nbu.

I hate soft play for exactly this reason.

For the people saying you should just leave your kids to it! Seriously!

[MrsJamin]

Yanbu, whilst being at our local park I was always really surprised at how many of the local childminders were happy to be seen to be so ignorant to their mindees, I would never have used any of their services. Eg leaving a young child strapped to a buggy (awake) for ages whilst older children went on the equipment, shouting at the children, not noticing very unsafe behaviour etc. Do they not realise they are in public and yes, they will be judged for poor attention towards their minded children!

[SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower]

So, in mumsnet land, it's perfectly OK if your childminder takes your kid to soft play, and then sits there with a coffee and chat, with minimal interaction with the children?

A big fat yes to children having space to being independent and being the ability to roam about and discover the limits of their abilities, BUT... keep an eye on them while they're doing it!?

[LosingMyWay]

Yabu for going to a soft play in the 1st place. I hate them, for the reasons you’ve mentioned and other.

Wrap em up and go play in the woods with a flask of coffee

[MrsOverTheRoad]

YANBU I had this at a toddler's group local to me. There was a group of about 5 childminders who would dominate the seating area and ignore their tiny charges.

one child was asking for a biscuit and his minder was holding the plate out of reach....for ages...and laughing and teasing whilst the little boy cried.

He was about 2.

I spoke to another mother and worked out who his Mum was and TOLD HER.

Awful CM was sacked as the Mother had already had concerns.