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...to think it's possible to go back to work full time after mat leave?

(256 Posts)
Jumperoux Wed 01-Nov-17 22:08:57

Would work 37 hours over 4 days with DD in nursery. Every other week she would be in nursery on the 5th day of the week so I can do overtime. She'll be 12 months and a bit.

Please give me your best tips. I'm hoping to still be breastfeeding morning/bedtime. I've heard that without daytime feeds then babies can start waking more in the night when mother goes back to work? And the idea of leaving the house for 7:20 fills me with dread. Will I be expected to give her breakfast before nursery? Any tips more than welcome. Wondering if I've made a mistake saying I'll go full time.

greendale17 Wed 01-Nov-17 22:10:04

Could you not go back part time, see how you get on then increase your hours?

AnyFucker Wed 01-Nov-17 22:12:08

Is there a partner around ?

It's certainly possible, lots of women do it.

Do you have any other family support ?

Changerofname987654321 Wed 01-Nov-17 22:12:51

Babies often wake more when they start nursery because they are looking for Mum. Nursery won’t expect you to have given them breakfast but my daughter expects it.

Are you single or do you have a partner who can share the nursery run? My DH does mornings and I do pick ups.

Newtothis2017 Wed 01-Nov-17 22:13:16

You will be fine and so will your baby. I did it and was very anxious about it. The lead up is worse than when it actually happens. My big tip is to be as organised as possible. Wobblers love company and will love nursery after a day or two.

cardibach Wed 01-Nov-17 22:13:36

Of course it is. Many women, but lone parents and those with partners, do it.

underneaththeash Wed 01-Nov-17 22:14:47

Usually nursery give breakfast. Its quite cute especially when you're not used to seeing them feed themselves

Just stop breastfeeding though..why make your life more difficult than it needs to be?

Slightlyperturbedowlagain Wed 01-Nov-17 22:15:52

We did milk before nursery then breakfast at nursery at that age. Probably better to do 4 slightly longer days than 5, but see how it goes- can you use your accrued leave to give yourself a gentler return by having one of the days as a half day?

Fruitcorner123 Wed 01-Nov-17 22:16:07

Mine only had a bedtime and morning breastfeed by that age but i would let the carer offer cows milk in the day if I was absent. They weren't fed in the night.

Wait and see if you can/want to commit to the overtime as you may treasure that day!

Nurseries do breakfast at a certain time in the morning but i doubt it would be before 7.20! If your DC wakes at the same time every day set your alarm for 30/40 mins earlier and get yourself completely sorted first. Will your DP be there to help with DC? Mine left the house later than me so he would get DC ready then sort himself after I had left.

HipToBeSquare Wed 01-Nov-17 22:16:47

Of course it is. I have 2 dc and work ft *but do work from home a lot!).

We have a great CM but no other support. Dh and I have to juggle a lot but it is what it is.

Slightlyperturbedowlagain Wed 01-Nov-17 22:17:07

And yes, best to stop BF before nursery really if doing long days or they will link nursery with loosing the boob sad

Bubblysqueak Wed 01-Nov-17 22:17:21

Get everything packed and put in the car the night before (its surprising how long it takes to get out of the house and dd strapped in in the morning. )

Get yourself up showered and dressed and ready to leave before getting dd up and sorted .

Then.out the door and breakfast at nursey.

guest2013 Wed 01-Nov-17 22:17:27

I've just gone back full time. My daughter was the same age. I feed her before I leave the house, as well as my other two children. She's caught every bug under the sun since starting nursery so doesn't sleep well but I manage.
It's actually fine. I do have a very helpful husband and my other children are older. It's worth it for the money and I feel mentally better, I couldn't stay at home permanently.
Organise things the night before. Go to bed early. Get up early. Ask for help off people that can give it. Look forward to Friday night's! wine

Flower0503 Wed 01-Nov-17 22:18:12

I get up at 6am and leave the house for 7.20am with my 20month old- have been since she was 13months old. I get everything ready the night before (my lunch, nursery bag, etc). So up at 6am- me shower, breakfast, wake DD at 6 45 if not already awake, get her dressed, breastfeed, teethbrush and out door for 7.20am. She has breakfast, lunch, dimner and 2 snacks at nursery.

Will your nursery let your DD do and extra day alternate weeks to allow you to work the overtime? Mine wouldnt, had to be same days and hours each week.

SonicBoomBoom Wed 01-Nov-17 22:20:02

I do it. It's fine.

Pack her bag for nursery the night before, is my advice. Even if you're dead on your feet, never leave it to the morning.

Can you shower the night before too if you need to wash and dry your hair everyday?

Callamia Wed 01-Nov-17 22:20:51

I did it.
My son started at 11m, and he’s now 4.

I don’t think his sleep was impacted (it wasn’t amazing anyway), and he was never fussed about the milk I’d lovingly expressed for him to take in. It was a joy when he turned one and nursery would give him cow milk.

We continued breastfeeding until he was two and a half. There were no issues with him starting nursery and supply.

The thing I want to warn you about is illness. They’ll get ill whatever of course, but that first year in nursery, I dealt with chicken pox (mild and fine - but a week off), hand, foot and mouth (worse for me than him), and various colds. It gets better, but it’s a hard first year. It’s all fine until someone gets ill...

I don’t regret sending him to nursery at all. He’s made excellent friends there and has good relationships with the staff. I also needed to continue my career. I was always the main wage-earner, so there was no option of me reducing hours.

ticketytock1 Wed 01-Nov-17 22:21:04

37 hours over 4 days is tough. I tried that after going back with my 1st... I spent my day off recuperating from the long days! I now do my hours over 5 days (35) but through a combo of half hour / no lunch breaks and a couple of later finishes, I finish at 2 one day a week and 4 two days a week. Gives me time to do dinners and homework’s 3 nights a week
Organisation is key... do your ironing for the week on a Sunday night and batch cook if possible.
Good luck. Life will be busy but you will do just fine x

2018babyonboard Wed 01-Nov-17 22:21:43

I worked 40 hours a week from when my baby was 7 months, it’s perfectly manageable and you get into the flow of it.. give yourself time. It’s probably going to be shit at first and you will question your life but i promise it gets easier.

Drop the things that you think are important but aren’t, can you afford a cleaner? Batch cook on the weekends if possible.

I always give breakfast first but nursery have always given toast to all kids quickly as some kids can’t afford it I’m assuming.

Make pack lunch and pack bags the night before as well as clothes etc ready. Then you can get yourself ready first and just shove baby ready in the morning.

You will get into your own routine and it will soon run like (screeching) clockwork.

Good luck!

IceCreamIScream Wed 01-Nov-17 22:22:58

It'll be fine and you'll find your rhythm over time.
I did it with DC1, and it was tough to begin with.
My best tip is to get everything ready the night before for both of you so you're not rushing around looking for things worried about the clock.
Oh and take shortcuts and don't beat yourself up about doing it. We went through a few hideous getting dressed periods and DC1 went in wearing PJ tops occasionally and sometimes got dressed in clothes for the next day the night before.
Oh and menu planning and online shops were a lifesaver.

Lucked Wed 01-Nov-17 22:23:19

Yes I went back full time at a year with both of mine, although I did wean breastfeeding at the time so my DH could share night feeds (dc2 didn't sleep through until she was 3) and my mum did two afternoons. Our nursery provided breakfast so I only gave milk in the mornings.

I have always worked condensed hours so FT in 4 days, do you need to do overtime right away? that is one thing I have dropped completely.

Muddlingalongalone Wed 01-Nov-17 22:26:10

Depends on your commute and the flexibility of your employer. Definitely doable but very stressful - lots of clock watching, juggling and rushing about.
I work ft and am a lone parent to 2 - 1 at school, 1 at nursery. We get out of the house around 7:30-40 each day, but I am blessed from that perspective with early risers.
It used to be milk before nursery and breakfast at nursery at 12 mths and is now crackers or a banana or a yoghurt and breakfast at nursery/breakfast club.
It's just planning and organising really and very low housework standards!

SurfaceThroughTheWaves Wed 01-Nov-17 22:26:26

It’s what I’ll be doing in a few months. I work 37.5 hours over four days. My request to drop hours has been rejected.
DS will be with his dad one day, me one day, his aunt one day, full day nursery and then half a day with a grandparent and half a day at nursery.

I’ve specifically chosen a nursery which is close to work and will be able to give him breakfast and tea time snack.
I figure I will just have to be organised as fuck.

StillSeekingResponsibleAdult Wed 01-Nov-17 22:29:01

Most nurseries I know would do breakfast if you start before 9, I assumed this was standard, but probably worth checking if it's included, or extra, at any you look round. I would also expect an afternoon snack/ tea to be included, but again worth checking.
I don't think FT is unachievable, lots of people do manage it, but do you have flexibility for illness, etc? It's inevitable you (and partner assuming they are also FT) will need to juggle time off to allow for illness, this can take a lot of your leave - not that it doesn't if you're PT, just makes the juggling a bit harder.
Night time waking probably depends on the child, some do and some don't, so you can't really plan ahead for this.

Writemove Wed 01-Nov-17 22:30:11

I did full time over five days when my boy was 11 months. I also breast fed him and continued to do so for ages after. I loved having the morning and evening feeds as our special time so I don't agree you have to give that up. Of anything work made it more special. It pays to be organised. I split the drop offs and pick ups with dh. I'd prefer five shorter days than four longer ones. You can do this!

YesThisIsMe Wed 01-Nov-17 22:31:02

It’s difficult, it’s possible, but I second the advice to work out what your backup plan is for when they wake up with D&V/chicken pox/conjunctivitis/slapped cheek/fifth disease/just a nasty cold. Because those first few months at nursery are an absolute sod for sickness. Don’t book any holidays.

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