Flight refund

[Sidesplitters]

Hi,
I’m a newbie here,
I’d like a few opinions on something I feel is a bit of bad manners.
We live in France have done for past few years. We pay for my DSS to visit at least twice per year. He is 25, (working full time, lives with his mum).
This flight fare paying is not an issue, we chose to move, it’s unfair to expect him to cough up the cash to visit.
We also visit him in Uk 2-3 times per year.
In July we booked and paid for his flight. He came had a lovely time. His return flight was delayed 3 hours 17 mins. He claimed under EU rules for the €250 delay compensation. Which he received in September. The flight we paid for was €89 return.
I don’t expect the €250, he was delayed, he was given a food voucher etc he was put out, lost a few hours of his Sunday not us. However I think it would have been good manners to offer the refund of the flight cost to us. He’s just asked my husband to book his flight for a week in Feb and I feel a little miffed, AIBU???

[KeepServingTheDrinks]

You're not U, but I'd let it go. If the next flight was closer to the last one, I'd suggest he paid it from the money, but it will have been long spent by Feb.

[LIZS]

But he took the flight eventually?

[fourquenelles]

Interesting puzzle OP. He still flew back eventually without having to pay extra I assume so "used" the full fare you had paid for iyswim. He could argue that the delay was his inconvenience so he was being compensated for that, not for being unable to get home at all.

On the other hand, it would have been a nice gesture to share the compensation or at least put some aside to pay for an additional trip over to see you and his DDad.

[messyjessy17]

YABU.

If you are, as you say, happy to pay for his flights to see you, then any money he was given as a result of a delay has no bearing on that. Either you want him to refund you or you don't.

[Sidesplitters]

Yes he took the flight, it was just delayed. We had given him cash for a taxi, so no other knock on additional costs.

[Sidesplitters]

It’s more that I believe it would have been a polite gesture.

[Poshindevon]

This flight fare paying is not an issue, we chose to move, it’s unfair to expect him to cough up the cash to visit. But now he has received some compensation you think he should pay for his next ticket to visit you.
You are being unreasonable and greedy. You paid as usual for a return airticket which your step son used .
Your stepson was delayed and inconvenienced not you, He applied for the compensation not you because he was the traveller. You lost nothing.

[KarateKitten]

YABU. You wanted to pay for him to fly. He flew.

You should be delighted he got something nice for being delayed.

[Roomster101]

YABU. He wasn't given a flight refund as he took the flight. He was given money for being inconvenienced by the delay and as he was the one being inconvenienced rather than you, why on earth do you think he should have offered you some of the money? You weren't affected so why should you gain?

[Whinesalot]

Technically you are right, it would have been polite to offer but kids take their parents and their parents generosity for granted. I don't think I even thought about the sacrifices my parents made until I was about that age - and this wasn't even a sacrifice, it was compensation for his inconvenience.

[Sidesplitters]

Fair enough!
It was worth seeing what others thought.

[alleypalley]

I'm surprised at these responses. My Parents moved abroad when I was in my 20s, never did they pay my air fare and never did I expect them to. He's a grown adult in full time work with no rent to pay. He sounds spoilt so then not surprising he wouldn't offer to use the money towards future flights.

[lazydog]

I don't think you're being unreasonable to think that it would have been a really nice gesture if he'd offered to pay for February's flights, but I imagine it just never entered his head, so I'd think he's thoughtless at worst, rather than being actually disrespectful, greedy or rude.

[HerRoyalNotness]

I think you should stop paying for his flights, 25yo, working, 2x flights a year. He's an adult now and had shoen by his action of not just paying for his next flight out of the compo he is a spoilt brat.

[PyongyangKipperbang]

He should have offered it back and then, if it was me, I would have said no but to maybe use it for an additional trip over.

Its not the money but the taking for granted htat would piss me off.

[KC225]

I am astounded that a full grown adult working full time is taking these air fares from you AND accepting the money for a taxi to the airport too. Where is his sense of pride?

Loads of parents move. My mother moved to the coast when she retired and I still pay to visit. If he was a child or studying fair enough. Doubtless, he has s great tone in France when he is there or else he would not be going twice a year. I think he should have offered you the price of your flight back AND he should be paying for his own flights on future.

[FittonTower]

I'm well into my 30s and I have family abroad, my parents split their time here and Spain now they are retired. Generally if I wanna go I pay my way but they will it me (and family) flights sometimes if there's a family thing or they are feeling extra lovely. I don't think I'm a spoiled brat (although I do realise how lucky I am) and have a sense of pride......
But. The money is flight delay compensation, it's not a refund so I can see why it hasn't occurred to him to offer you the money. It's money to compensate him for time lost waiting about. It would've Been nice for him to offer Or to say that he will use the money for his next flight or something but i can see why he hasn't.

[cluelessnewmum]

Hmm he's 25, he probs just didn't think. I know 25 isn't 14 but I think you're pretty self absorbed in your 20s (or I was anyway).

For those saying he should pay for his own flights, well maybe but if they didn't he probably wouldn't come at all, which I imagine would upset his father. They pay for 2 flights a year... Does he come any other times paying for himself? If not there's your answer.

Seeing your family is a low priority for Alot of blokes in their 20s, my dh said he didn't see much of his parents in his 20s and they only live an hour away.

[NewPapaGuinea]

The compensation is for the delay not the flight. He had the flight you paid for so that "transaction" is complete. The delay and compensation is a separate thing.

[BikeRunSki]

When I was severely delayed on a business train journey from Edinburgh to Leeds,I was 5 hours late home and I reclaimed the cost of my ticket. I offered it to my employers. They said to keep it, as they’d paid for me to travel between E and L, and that is what happened. The refund was to compensate for my wasted evening. I think they let thing is that it would have been good manners for your DSS to offer you bsbk his refund, but he probably saw it as his, since it was his ticket and his journey.

[IWouldLikeToKnow]

The compensation was for the inconvenience, not the flight. He was the one inconvenienced, rather than you. I think that’s how it should be seen

[Caterina99]

I was in this exact situation as the child OP. (I’m 32)

I live in the US and my mum paid for me to fly home last year for my dad’s surprise birthday party. This was my Christmas gift from my parents. I do travel back once a year or so, but it is expensive, and is also a pain with small children so this was a nice treat to come on my own.

My flight home was delayed and I missed my connection and ended up in an airport hotel overnight. Over 14 hours delayed to my final destination. I got 600 euros compensation. I gave it to my mum. I did keep a tiny amount as I rounded it up with the exchange rate. My mum used the money to come and visit a few months later as it’s much easier for her to travel than it is for me to leave the kids or all of us come!

I did feel slightly miffed as it was me that had to stay in an airport hotel (yay no toddlers) and DH that had to organize extra childcare at short notice and us that had to pay for an extra day at nursery, but fortunately I wasn’t hugely inconvenienced and I felt it was the right thing to do.

[PandorasXbox]

Gosh I don’t think YABU at all OP. Imo he should have at least offered half of the compensation.

[Unihorn]

It would've been polite to offer at least some money back, or to pay for his next flight to you. I was in my early 20s when I started offering to pay for coffees, meals, petrol etc. for my parents. They never accepted, and even now my mum is loathe to accept a coffee off me, but I think it's the gesture of offering that counts.

[ForalltheSaints]

I don't think YABU.