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To go low contact

(4 Posts)
Azalea96 Wed 01-Nov-17 15:16:15

I am not sure if I abu? I have a large number of brothers and have been thinking of going low contact with two of them. Years ago I was a young widow with dcs I really struggled at first but successfully worked hard and always visited my elderly parent as much as I could and travelled five hours to see them by trains . My parent is now in a care facility and very happy. I am still far away but visit when I can. I am recovering from surgery and have long term health issues. I don't run a car as my medication makes me drowsy so driving is not allowed. I am now going to take early retirement . When I was ill two of my brothers who live nearby never called in and my friends helped out with shopping and lifts when I was seriously ill. Now one DB has yelled down the phone at me and his wife sent a nasty text because I couldn't visit my parent one week due to to bring too ill to use trains. Three months ago my parent had been very ill too and I have visited three days a week by train but it got too much for me as it involves a mile walk to/from the station. That brother said he was too busy in his job to visit except Saturday and told me I should just get on the train as lots of people have illness and can still walk. The other brother wants me to cook for my parent on a day out from the care home. I am still relying on friends for help with my shopping and struggle with cleaning etc. I have explained about my illness but it's like they are not listening. I have no clue what to do. They say things like " you have no small dcs so it's easier for you. " Aibu?

Ellendegeneres Wed 01-Nov-17 15:40:58

Yanbu and I'm pretty sure you know that, you just need to hear others say it too. So I'm saying it loudly. Yanbu. At all.
If these people were your friends and treating and speaking to you like this, would you remain friends? No? A sibling bond doesn't mean a tie. They don't get to treat and speak to you like crap because you're related.
Stop replying when they send messages, and call. Give yourself a few months. Then think about sending them a message which lays out for them that they are unkind, intolerable and you do not wish to speak with them since when you try they don't listen.

I hope you can come to terms with this. Sometimes, the people we think should be closest to us end up being the ones we want furthest away flowers

CabbagesOnFire Wed 01-Nov-17 16:09:54

Naa. Fuck 'em. Don't do it (go low contact) overtly if that'd produce a storm of abuse from them. But just....stop bothering with them.

Azalea96 Wed 01-Nov-17 17:39:39

Thanks it helps to get another person's perspective. And it's so true how I make excuses for them just because I am their sister. I am grateful for sensible advice from MNers star

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