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To ask what is the worst job application you have read? *lighthearted*

(200 Posts)

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jobapplicationshock Wed 01-Nov-17 14:53:59

Name changed as this is outing.

Someone has been headhunted for a corporate job that she seems to fit exactly. Great education, exemplary recommendations, great networking skills (all according to linkedin)

I was responsible for going through the applications and forwarding on; all great until I got to "the one" and my eyes nearly popped out of my head.

On the "about me" bit she has written "[*MNHQ removed as it was identifying*]"
Objectives are "[*MNHQ removed as it was identifying*]".

This is a first time for me, enlighten me with your tales of application woes please grin

IamtheDevilsAvocado Wed 01-Nov-17 14:59:03

Oh my.....

The fact that she actually you know WROTE IT ON AN Application!

afrikat Wed 01-Nov-17 15:03:42

I once got a CV which listed all achievements from the age of 11 including grade 5 recorder. The applicant did actually have an MSc in the subject he was applying for but it was buried on the 2nd page.

napmeistergeneral Wed 01-Nov-17 15:03:49

How do you think your company would feel about you cutting and pasting sections of their applicant's CVs onto the Internet? Really, really inappropriate. Ironic, given you seem to think this woman doesn't have a clear understanding of what's appropriate to write where.

DunkMeInTomatoSoup Wed 01-Nov-17 15:05:23

Why did you create/name change an ID just for that - smells like lazy journo fodder.

MothertotheLordsofmisrule Wed 01-Nov-17 15:05:39

At least she wrote something.

I had one with no qualifications, very basic info about current and past jobs and about 4 lines for the section where you are free to expand on your wealth of experience and skills.

Basically said "I hate my job, it's not what I thought it would be. I want another job"

Honest but not useful.

ColinCreevy Wed 01-Nov-17 15:05:50

Bit nasty really.

MothertotheLordsofmisrule Wed 01-Nov-17 15:06:19

When I say no qualifications, they hadn't added them to the application.

oldlaundbooth Wed 01-Nov-17 15:06:45


Calm toi

pret Wed 01-Nov-17 15:08:31

Eek that’s a bit mean OP

She’s probably trying her best.

FlaviaAlbia Wed 01-Nov-17 15:08:45

The one for a senior software engineer post that predominantly featured his excellent word and excel skills, specifically the '97 versions grin

AdmiralJanewaysZombie Wed 01-Nov-17 15:08:56

I had one that was completely devoid of information other than contact details!

ThroughThickAndThin01 Wed 01-Nov-17 15:10:31

Why is it mean to post this? It's hardly going to identify anyone. There are what about 70 million people in the U.K.

I think it's interesting.

reallyorange Wed 01-Nov-17 15:11:16

I have had some awful ones but I couldn't post about them. I suspect if they are lacking sometimes they are just done to show the jobcentre they've applied for jobs.

PurplePillowCase Wed 01-Nov-17 15:11:56

one that was just a sentence 'I need the rejection letter for the job centre' written on loo roll tissue paper.

GameOldBirdz Wed 01-Nov-17 15:13:45

In academia. A bloke with an amazing research record who was really well-established in his field of research went for a lectureship which is half research, half teaching.

At his lectureship presentation, he spent about 18 of the twenty minutes on research then when prompted to talk about teaching he skipped through about 10 slides and said "Well, yes, teaching. I don't really like teaching and I haven't done much of it".


VladmirsPoutine Wed 01-Nov-17 15:15:08

Why did you create/name change an ID just for that - smells like lazy journo fodder.

So don't contribute. I don't understand this type of attitude. Once you've posted something online - that's it - it's out there. Granted many, many more people will see it if it should end up making a national paper but an online public forum is hardly sacrosanct.

jobapplicationshock Wed 01-Nov-17 15:16:13

Definitely not looking for journo fodder. I'm flabbergasted to be honest, she is highly qualified and the job does not in any way involve family life, therefore I would have thought she would have known that expressing her love for her extended relatives would not be appropriate.

Loving the grade 5 recorder achievement! grin

MrsMoastyToasty Wed 01-Nov-17 15:16:29

The one that said "I am a people person" and had put a heart instead of a dot over every lower case "i" or "j" . (At least they'd read the instructions for completing the application form in their own handwriting)

PurplePillowCase Wed 01-Nov-17 15:17:41

grade 5 on any instrument is a good achievement. shows perseverence!

TheClacksAreDown Wed 01-Nov-17 15:18:23

Several times I have been recruiting for high end professional jobs that require very Specialist skills and experience and through our search found the right candidate but they need a work permit. In order to get the work permit we were required to advertise via the job centre for a month as part of the evidence we could not get a UK candidate.

We would always be really clear about the experience needed. Yet we would always get some random and completely unsuitable applications. So if it was say a senior specialist consumer credit lawyer, applicants would carefully say they were suitable because they had worked in a credit card call centre. I could only assume these people were applying in order to meet a job centre imposed quota of job seeking activity. Which made me feel really sad for them.

SecretSmellies Wed 01-Nov-17 15:19:47

Well- I once in all innocence applied for a job in a firm that some 10 years previously my DH had referred to their professional body for incompetence and negligence.

THAT piece of brand new info made a rather unexpected appearance in the interview.....

(I didn't get the job, and was mortified afterwards thinking of how they must have laughed when they got my application...)

VladmirsPoutine Wed 01-Nov-17 15:19:49

But to the point - a friend in HR once told me that she received an application for a technical role i.e. requiring accreditation from relevant industry bodies, but the only qualification the applicant had was a Summer course in beginner's xxx. Imagine recruiting a qualified actuary, and someone applies having done a 4-week book-keeping course.

LauraMipsum Wed 01-Nov-17 15:20:59

When I worked in a law firm I used to reject anybody who was trying to get a position as a sollicitor, a soliciter, or a solicittor.

More recently I winced at someone who had written "I believe in following your dreams and if Donald Trump can become POTUS then I can get this job!!!!!!!" on the application form.

MadMags Wed 01-Nov-17 15:22:55

What a horrible thread. I hope someone doesn't recognise her/himself.

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