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Aibu to ask what being broody feels like?

(48 Posts)
roconnell Wed 01-Nov-17 13:39:32

No children. Have never felt anything that I would describe as 'broody', so what does being broody feel like?

Cornettoninja Wed 01-Nov-17 13:42:31

I think it must be different for different people.

Babies have never got me broody, but before dd I just had a need for my own. Kicked up a notch in my late 20's when I stopped worrying about getting a positive pregnancy test and actively desired one.

UmaKilledWilliam Wed 01-Nov-17 13:46:17

I never felt it either so curious about the answers.
Though I think being broody is a strong, primitive animal instinct that urges us to carry on our species. It's probably something deeply primeval. Never felt it.

dissapointedafternoon Wed 01-Nov-17 14:06:21

For me it's like a punch in the chest and a tight throat, a racing heart.. I try not to cry.
I am desperate for another child, but not quite healthy enough to have one yet.

It rules my life and I need to get it under control. I dream of babies, I dream all day long. I am obsessed.

Elllicam Wed 01-Nov-17 14:11:12

It’s a hard one to describe, for me it is just a really deep seated ‘want’. Logically I know it too early to want another baby, we have an 8 month old but when I think about babies and being pregnant the want overrides the logic. I worry about not managing to conceive again all the time. When I was TTC DS3 every month revolved around my cycle, I would be happier the closer I was to POAS time. The first few days of my period I was really down.

RideOn Wed 01-Nov-17 14:12:03

For me it is probably thinking about pregnancy/ babies etc and feeling longing when you see a baby and a kind of feeling something missing.

I’d say I felt it mildly since aged 16 and from being married I’d say I’d be aware of it/ ignore it/ more than once most days, especially when finished breastfeeding. It doesn’t run my life but it’s there and not gone away despite us having 4DC and no plans for more.

Rebeccaslicker Wed 01-Nov-17 14:16:09

Mine was more in the negative IYSWIM - it was more that the thought of not having a child upset me.

reetgood Wed 01-Nov-17 14:18:41

My friend described her experience as an almost physical need.

I’m currently pregnant but have never had that or anything close to it. I like kids and notice them. I think I just had a little switch that went from ‘maybe later’ to ‘now is fine’. Don’t know if that was ever broody...

DumbledoresPensieve Wed 01-Nov-17 14:23:26

Mine was when my normal reaction of 'aww cute' to babies turned into a 'I want one I want one I want one' around the time I was 29/30. From then I was a bit baby and pregnancy obsessed inwardly - I'd dream that I had my baby, that I was pregnant. I spent time looking at MN and NM (yes, NM!) reading pregnancy and birth stories. I really noticed pregnant women and new mothers where I hadn't before.

I also felt for the first time that I was ready to be someone's mum. I always wanted children, at some point, but after I felt that change I wanted one right now.

Germgirl Wed 01-Nov-17 14:23:37

Why do some people feel broody and some don't? I never have, I don't have my own children and I never ever wanted them, I knew that from a very very early age. Is it an innate feeling that some of us just don't have? Or is a learned.
I'm just wondering really, it's always fascinated me when people say they want a baby because I have never, even for a moment, felt like I wanted one.

peachgreen Wed 01-Nov-17 14:25:11

I never felt broody in the physical way some women describe - I just knew from the moment I met him that I wanted to build a family with my DH, and I knew I would be ready once we had practicalities in place.

DeadDoorpost Wed 01-Nov-17 14:26:00

Currently pregnant and never felt broody. The closest I'd say is the feeing I get whenever I see a great big cute fluffy dog and I just feel like I need one. Or to hug it when I can't.

Kragghooooooullllll Wed 01-Nov-17 14:27:19

For me I felt envious (jealous?) whenever I saw a pregnant woman/tiny baby like a twang in my chest and a churning in my stomach.

Dd2 is 7 months and my last and I'm starting to feel it a bit already. I'm hoping it goes away soon!

Herja Wed 01-Nov-17 14:29:04

It feels like an almost physical pain when I hear newborns crying. Like I'm winded. I cry whenever I hold new babies. I think about them obsessively, I dream I'm pregnant. I haven't had a baby for 3 years, but I still leak milk when I hear them crying.

DumbledoresPensieve Wed 01-Nov-17 14:31:17

I think @Germgirl it's probably 50/50 innate and learned. We're all shaped by our life experiences aren't we, a person could be someone who would innately have wanted children but maybe had a childhood where they were (for example) left caring/bringing up for younger siblings and so as a result never wanted their own. Someone else could have been brought up in a huge family and couldn't imagine themselves never having the same set up as an adult - or go the opposite and only want one child, or none.

Not saying everyone who doesn't want kids is because of experiences -positive or negative - of course. It's just as 'normal' to not want to have them as it is to want to. It's just these days it's (rightly) perfectly acceptable for women to feel 'it's not for me' whereas 50 years ago childless women were considered more odd. Thank goodness women are able to be more then wives and mothers these days!

PippaPug Wed 01-Nov-17 14:31:54

Last Christmas it felt like a switch had been turned on...I have this feeling that I want a child so badly...over the last 9 months approx 20 of my friends have announced pregnancies and i get very upset (in private) and can cry over it and how "unfair" it is - but my boyfriend isn't ready for a baby so I just have to wait - it's really really hard I notice pregnant women all the time and newborns....but I am just trying to be patient.

OlennasWimple Wed 01-Nov-17 14:33:38

If you have it, you will know.

I had a brief period (following two miscarriages of not entirely planned pregnancies) where I physically ached for another baby. I would never have thought that I would have had that - I'm so not a baby person! - but there you go. Hormones are funny things

RapunzelsRealMom Wed 01-Nov-17 14:49:00

DisappointedAfternoon hit the nail on the head.

We have completed our family and I’m well past the age to be considering getting pregnant but, sometimes, out of the blue, I’ll get a real gut-wrenching feeling and an overwhelming sadness that I’ll never have another baby.
Actually, I don’t want another (theoretically*)*. I’ve had enough sleepless nights, mastitis, stretchmarks, etc, etc, but I think I’ll get that broody feeling every** now and again for the rest of my life.

roconnell Wed 01-Nov-17 14:55:17

Thank you all for replying. This is fascinating. I say that I have never felt broody, but I do often have an intense sense that I'm missing something fundamental about life by not having had children, and feel that if I don't act upon it now while I'm young and healthy I will hugely regret it later in life. I'm quite envious of pregnant women that I know, is that being broody? I've always loved babies and toddlers.

Are those feelings strong enough to ttc? I've certainly never experienced the gut punch type feelings that others describe above.

peachgreen Wed 01-Nov-17 15:33:11

I never had those gutpunch feelings either, and actually I'm not really that fussed about "having a baby" in the way that other women seem to be - I'm far more interested in the childhood stages. I think for me it's less about having a baby and more about having children as part of my family unit, so perhaps that's why I've not had that physical broodiness?

roconnell Wed 01-Nov-17 15:36:37

I can relate to that peachgreen, after all they are only babies for such a short time, and are children for much longer. I can't imagine myself NOT having children but I don't know if that's a good enough reason to have them, if that makes sense? I'm probably overthinking it. I'd love to build a family unit with DP, we're getting married in September, I just don't feel that physical need for it.

reetgood Wed 01-Nov-17 15:39:05

We went for ttc and I’ve never even been at the point of envying pregnant women smile but when I imagined life with and life without children, my gut said with kids. Further should I shouldn’t i ensued until I had the switch flicking moment where I just went ‘it will be ok’.

Halfdrankbrew Wed 01-Nov-17 15:48:42

I never actually experienced feeling broody until after I had my first child. I can't really describe it but whenever I see a small baby I just feel the need to have that feeling I had around being pregnant and having a new born. I have a baby who is only a few months old and strangely still get the feeling when I see a teeny newborn. My husband often points out we have one in the pram but I reply "yes but look how teeny that one is" God I sound slightly mental grin

DeadDoorpost Wed 01-Nov-17 15:52:09

I knew DH wanted children but he also knew I didn't really. I just day that if I was to have children I wanted them to be his. So we went for it and here I am 37 weeks pregnant. I'll maybe go for one more because of how horrendous this pregnancy has been but DH is ok with that.
And then I can get fur babies 😍😍

RideOn Wed 01-Nov-17 15:56:04

For me it’s not like seeing a gorgeous puppy and thinking “I want that” it’s more a longing and not that pleasant really as in other areas of my life I am grateful (obviously grateful beyond anything for DCs) but this makes me feel a bit like I am missing something, it’s hard to describe, I hope it goes away, I do try and distract myself, (except now I’m not by reading this thread) I am not sure whether it is more social or biological.
I don’t think I could have had a good life with this feeling and without children, but there was no pressure from family to have dc and I love working/other interests, I feel guilty about the environmental impact of 4dcs and worry about the chances of having one who is not self sufficient when older etc, also I am unusual in my friends and family for having as many as 4. There are so many reasons why I am unreasonable to want more but I would like a shot if I didn’t spend time —regularly— talking myself out of it! So I think there must be some biology.

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