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AIBU to stop my Dsis getting an interview?

(81 Posts)
Ahhh1234 Wed 01-Nov-17 13:21:50

So I feel awful to the point I could cry! My sister has applied to my work place for a role that would be in my department and she would be sitting a few seats away.

HR called and asked if I minded her being interview for the position. I said I minded. The reasons being:

1. In every job she's had in the past 4/5 years she's been fired due to her calling in sick, tensions in her teams etc
2. She's very confrontational and doesn't like authority.
3. She doesn't make friends easily
4. If there was a disagreement between her and someone I don't want it to reflect badly on me.
5. I love where I work and get on with everyone so I don't want to rock the boat.

So AIBU to say no to her getting an interview?

Orangealien Wed 01-Nov-17 13:22:49


Appuskidu Wed 01-Nov-17 13:23:31

I don't blame you! What they say in response?

blackteasplease Wed 01-Nov-17 13:23:45


WineAndTiramisu Wed 01-Nov-17 13:24:02

YANBU as long as they don't tell her the reason she's not being interviewed!

MrsJayy Wed 01-Nov-17 13:25:58

Oh yanbu she sounds difficult does she think she is in with a chance because you work there?

KatherinaMinola Wed 01-Nov-17 13:26:56

Why on earth are HR asking you whether their choice of candidates should be interviewed? Sounds very dodgy.

steppemum Wed 01-Nov-17 13:33:13

YANBU - please call HR back though and confirm that they will not tell her your opinion.

cupofcake Wed 01-Nov-17 13:34:35

HR called you?? Highly irregular.
Or were they returning your call?

BenLui Wed 01-Nov-17 13:38:27

Katherina it’s not uncommon for hiring managers to ask for a quiet yes or no on a CV if they know you know the person or have worked with them before.

That’s why it's terribly important to get on well with your colleagues and not to burn your bridges when you leave somewhere.

I’ve been asked for opinions on people far more senior that me.

Lots of companies have Friends and Family schemes where there’s a financial incentive for recommending someone good to the firm.

Anatidae Wed 01-Nov-17 13:41:01

Very common to have this happen.

A quiet verbal ‘dont’ to HR or staffing is all that’s needed, along with an assurance they will not pass it on.

If you recommend someone and they’re a nightmare it reflects very badly on you. So no, as long as your reasons are true, yanbu

Hissy Wed 01-Nov-17 13:41:27

You did the right thing

you know she'd destabilise the team.

if you knew what she was like, and the company knew you knew this, they'd not be overly happy that you didn't warn them. they could lose people they value from hiring a dud.

Your sister needs to sort herself out, and she doesn't need to drag you down in the process

HipToBeSquare Wed 01-Nov-17 13:43:31

Yanbu. For all the reasons you listed!

Mummyoflittledragon Wed 01-Nov-17 13:43:51

From the sounds of it, thank goodness you have a good hr team, who enquiried. Good on you for putting your needs first. It doesn’t sound as if she’d make a great employee.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Wed 01-Nov-17 13:46:19

YANBU - sounds like she'd create a bit of upset in your office, and people might expect you to sort her out!

troodiedoo Wed 01-Nov-17 13:49:21

Yanbu. Fair play to you.

PinkHeart5914 Wed 01-Nov-17 13:49:46

It depends really

Does she really need this job? If she’s on the bones of her arse and can’t feed her dc yes yabu

If she has enough money to live etc? A bit mean but fair enough I suppose

Booie09 Wed 01-Nov-17 13:50:21

Totally different but my husband has got his brother loads of work on building sites and my brother is never ever on time! And a few times the big bosses have made a comment about his lateness! My husband says he can't help his brothers lateness but it does look bad on him because he has got him in the door. You did the right thing!

FlowerPot1234 Wed 01-Nov-17 13:53:24


KatherinaMinola Wed 01-Nov-17 13:55:39

It must depend on the sector. Wherever I've worked all application forms / CVs / interviewed are given recorded numerical scores, and all references were recorded and kept on file (telephone ones recorded on a pro forma). All this in case of any legal comeback - eg a discrimination case.

But some employers are obviously more casual!

Liiinoo Wed 01-Nov-17 13:58:56

YANBU. I had a similar situation with a close relation. I knew how hard up they were and desperate for money so I bit my tongue and told HR it was fine. (TBH I was also scared of the fall out if she thought I had not supported her). She got the job and all was fine for a few months. However in the end things got so awkward, at work and at family events, I ended up resigning just to get away from the situation. She is still there.

cakecakecheese Wed 01-Nov-17 14:02:41

That must have been difficult but you have to think about yourself. If you'd have OK'd it and she did get the job and started creating problems it could have reflected badly on you.

BenLui Wed 01-Nov-17 14:04:18

I’ve spent most of my career working for large blue chip corporates, it’s not about being “casual”, it’s about finding really good people for the role.

It’s expensive to recruit people, the more info you can get the better. Sifting through CVs isn’t always the best way to find a great candidate.

It’s pretty common to be asked if you know anyone who would fit a particular role. People won’t recommend you unless you are really good because otherwise it reflects badly on your judgement.

hitTheRoad Wed 01-Nov-17 14:17:18

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

PovertyPain Wed 01-Nov-17 14:19:07

Yanbu. My dear husband got his brother a job in his workplace, because his mum asked him to. He was constantly embarrased by his B's behaviour and even now, two years after my husband's death, clients will still compare the two as my husband was a hard working, well liked member of staff, whereas his B is the complete opposite. His boss has even told me, he is only kept on as a mark of respect to my husband and the great reputation that he had. It's quite funny, in a cringing way, when I meet his old clients and they bend over backwards to prevent themselves comparing the two.

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