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To think 1 year old twins are bloody impossible?

(182 Posts)
TammyswansonTwo Wed 01-Nov-17 08:59:03

Okay, when they were babies it was bloody hard. Like, going insane levels of hard. But at least I could bloody put them down and they'd stay where I put them.

They can't even walk yet and they're already driving me crazy. Let's recap:
- they have 1 x 20 minute nap a day
-one has figured out how to escape from their very expensive, should last til 2 bouncers
- got a very pricey big playpen which has saved me but now they've refused to stay in it, and have figured out how to gang up on it and prise it open
- they wait until I'm just starting to relax, or I'm busy changing the other and then they dart off in opposite directions - one attempting to pull the TV over, the other heading straight for the baby crusher (just kidding, I don't have a baby crusher but everything in the house is a potential baby crusher

Would a big dog cage be unreasonable?

Just kidding. But any suggestions that will stop me losing my mind. My vocab seems to have shrunk to their names, "stop it", "no" and muttering expletives.

MatildaTheCat Wed 01-Nov-17 09:01:59

They are still babies but now big, uncontrollable babies. Hang on in there, in a couple of years it will improve a bit.

YANBU. brew cake

KC225 Wed 01-Nov-17 09:04:37

Once they are mobile they are a nightmare. Accept all help, even from strangers. Mine are 10 now are cannot believe I survived those mobile/toddler years. Hold on, it gets easier OP.

Doyouremember Wed 01-Nov-17 09:06:57

Yanbu. Can you attach all the furniture to the wall and hide everything dangerous for now? Might be a bit less stressful if they can't really hurt themselves in the main living space. Also any way to cabletie secure the play pen to foil their escape a little longer?

TammyswansonTwo Wed 01-Nov-17 09:10:22

Thank you ladies. Some days it just feels impossible - oneof them has no fear and is constantly covered in bruises because although he cannot walk he just flings himself around with the confidence of a skilled gymnast. The other has only just started standing but is a lot more controlled thankfully. I just feel like one of them is going to get really hurt because I can't have eyes on them both or keep them secure every single second (I do have to change bums, get food ready and actually pee myself - that's the reason I've had 6 UTIs this year I guess!)

I see mums with bigger twins (2+) and I can see it does get better so I'm holding on to that... if i survive that long, which seems unlikely!

TammyswansonTwo Wed 01-Nov-17 09:11:58

Yes, I've ordered a replacement panel for the play pen without the gate which should foil their attempts. Have babyproofed whefe possible, covered the entire ground floor in garish foam tiles... hopefully that will be enough!

HamNJam Wed 01-Nov-17 09:12:07

Nope, a dog gate type thing is perfectly reasonable (higher than a normal door gate, I've heard of several parents-of-mulitples use these instead. Mine were kept "behind bars" in a child proof room when I had to escape for chores a wee ).

Is the 1 x 20 min nap all that they get throughout the day? Any chance they would go for a longer one after lunch, even if it involved putting them in the pushchair and walking around for a bit?

It will get easier... in different ways, less mind numbingly boring and physically hard. flowers

TammyswansonTwo Wed 01-Nov-17 09:12:41

*actually pee, myself.... not "pee myself"

Damn you, Oxford comma!

katycb Wed 01-Nov-17 09:13:32

It gets easier and then all of a sudden they start to properly play together and you get a cuppa in peace. I feel for you op mine are 4 now and I think 1-2 was pretty hard and mine still had a 3 hour nap then! I found being out of the house as much as possible helped I found a safe enclosed play area on a cafe and met friends there and went to loads of toddler groups as there were other adults there to help. Hugs though and to give you a bit of hope mine will now quite happily play together now without needing just took ages to get to that point!

Bettydownthehall Wed 01-Nov-17 09:13:48

Has no one invented a baby suspension device? Where you suspend them for the ceiling to watch cbeebies?

Maybe that's one for dragon den.

TammyswansonTwo Wed 01-Nov-17 09:13:49

They are allergic to sleep I think. They hate sleeping. Even when they're visibly exhausted they won't sleep. It's infuriating. I think one of them might legitimately be missing some sort of sleep chemical - I've known him to stay awake for 11 hours straight. It's madness.

TammyswansonTwo Wed 01-Nov-17 09:14:47

Betty wins. Yes. Some sort of harness attached to a clothesline that only lets them stray so far.

It's probably not great that I'm contemplating morally acceptable ways to tie up my children.

Starwhisperer Wed 01-Nov-17 09:15:39

Argh, I hate to hear this. Mine are only 9 weeks and I cannot imagine it being harder than now but this sounds so exhausting. Well done you for getting through every day.

TammyswansonTwo Wed 01-Nov-17 09:17:08

That's good to know Katy. I'm just massively struggling this week - I have endometriosis and am having an insanely painful period, pre kids I would have spent this week in bed (although the pain hasn't been this bad for a good 10 years) but instead I'm chasing them around and being deafened by their frustrated and exhausted screeches. Send help! God I wish I had family around - tried homestart but they don't have anyone free.

Alittlepotofrosie Wed 01-Nov-17 09:17:49

I think a baby straight jacket would be awesome for those nappy changes where they just won't stay still.

GreenTulips Wed 01-Nov-17 09:18:30

Have you tried Velcro?

They'll soon be walking (get some twin reigns) and they'll exhaust themselves more

Go out and get fresh air as much as possible - then strapped in the buggy really helps

Also soft play is a good one, the local one to us had an amazing lady who would supervise them while I had a hot cuppa (lovely lady!)

elliejjtiny Wed 01-Nov-17 09:23:14

I feel your pain. I don't have twins but I have 2 DC 12 months apart, both with GDD but older one more severe than younger one. So technically I have a 4 year old and a 3 year old but it's more like 2 18 months - 2 year olds. And it was just starting to improve a little bit and then my 4 year old outgrew the double buggy. So now I'm on house arrest for the foreseeable future. My advice is find a small softplay where you can see the babies wherever they go and there is a toddler proof gate at the entrance and move in. I'm only half joking, we nearly lived in our local one when my 2 were at that stage. Also get baby gates and put them in every doorway in your house, it will help contain them a little bit.

Tomorrowillbeachicken Wed 01-Nov-17 09:31:19

I don’t think when they are toddlers it will any easier tbh

Abra1d Wed 01-Nov-17 09:33:09


Up until the early twentieth century people in rural Central Europe sometimes hung their babies swaddled from hooks in the ceiling, ie, they swaddled them up and then suspended them so they could gently swing and observe the households.

The male author of the book I read this in was convinced that this had led to the rise of fascism but it made a kind of sense to me—the swaddling made the babies feel secure and the swinging mimicked our evolutionary past as little primates in trees.

RapunzelsRealMom Wed 01-Nov-17 09:34:25

Oh, I feel your pain! It was so hard when my DTs (4) were that age.

It does get easier eventually, then hard again. For example both DTs and their elder sisters have caught a sickness bug and last night DH and I each did a ‘night shift’ with one. Reminded me of those baby times!!!

You’ll miss it when it’s gone, so they say grin

Mrstumbletap Wed 01-Nov-17 09:35:18

All we can say is I’m jealous you have twins, that first mobile stage is bloody hard and you only get to go through it once.

I couldn’t bare that bit so much I only have one, but wanted two. so I always thought at least with twins you have to go through it anyway.

I found 1yr-18 months hard, but then after that it just gets easier and easier.

Will they not have an afternoon nap?

Saker Wed 01-Nov-17 09:35:53

Homestart! I volunteer for Homestart and in fact have helped a family with twins of that age and a 3year old as well. I feel your pain, I was exhausted after just 2 hours of minding them! But seriously, have a look to see if there's a Homestart near you - they would send in a volunteer for 2 hours a week for 6 months to support you - either just to play with the children while you put your feet up or do something else in another bit of the house or to help you get out with both of them, or to help you with stuff like mealtimes or whatever you need really. I know it's only 2 hours, but it breaks up the day a bit and gives you some adult company. You don't have to have any major issues - having twins is good enough! You can refer yourself. Homestart

BamburyFuriou3 Wed 01-Nov-17 09:35:59

I didn't have twins but I have 3 climbing sleep dodgers. You seriously need to baby proof one room - everything fixed to the walls, padded corners stuff, I even put the foam mattress stuff on he floors. Then you can sit and drink a lukewarm tea in a grown up sippy cup while they pull all the toys out and try to destroy what limited thing's they can reach.

Saker Wed 01-Nov-17 09:37:16

Sorry just saw that you tried Homestart, missed that. Don't give up, try again in a month or two.

BamburyFuriou3 Wed 01-Nov-17 09:38:25

If mine nap I make a blanket best for them on the floor as they will escape anything else, and also wake up if away from the normal household noises upstairs in a bedroom.

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