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To think most people don't deserve their nannies/childminders

(41 Posts)
Sienna333 Tue 31-Oct-17 21:45:09

Honestly I am shocked at how some of my colleagues/friends treat their nannies/childminders. Things from-

1. Not paying guaranteed hours
2. Messing them around with hours and days of work
3. Making it clear they are 2nd best and using family members if they are around even if it is the nannies shift.
4. Not really caring about their physical wellbeing.
5. Way they speak to them at times in an abrupt and rude way.

Seems to me that they start off treating them great and then it slowly slides. Why do they want to piss off their support when that person could leave them high and dry with no notice? Everyone has got a limit and as a past nanny I have left for reasons listed above also.

In my eyes if I could afford part time help I would treat that nanny/childminder like gold. It upsets me to see so many childcarers treated like crap.

WorraLiberty Tue 31-Oct-17 21:48:09

Most people?

Sienna333 Tue 31-Oct-17 21:49:57

From my experience, yes.

DailyMailReadersAreThick Tue 31-Oct-17 21:50:41

Is it difficult to find work as a nanny? The impression I get on MN is they, and childminders, are very difficult to find and so the childcare provider sets the terms more than the parents. Same with good nurseries.

So it sounds like your friends (why are you friends with these people?) are shits, but I'm also wondering why the nannies/childminders put up with it.

Stompythedinosaur Tue 31-Oct-17 21:51:01

God no, I love my childminder, she is fantastic.

I don't think I would ever mess het about, I am well aware that I need her more than she needs me!

chinalass Tue 31-Oct-17 21:51:42

My Childminder is amazing !!

YogiYoni Tue 31-Oct-17 21:52:48

I think you need to find new friends. Everyone I know does the opposite to this.

Snap8TheCat Tue 31-Oct-17 21:53:41

I can speak as a childminder- why so we put up with it?

1. Because we get attached to the children
2. We get threatened with ofsted reports
3. Keeping your reputation
4. Guilt trips
5. Mostly we’re nice people who want to help

Just a few reasons. Mostly number 1.

SpoonfulOfJam Tue 31-Oct-17 21:54:09

Childminders are really valued by people I know. Ours is wonderful, really like and respect her and very fond of her children.

CaramelEmporium Tue 31-Oct-17 21:54:26

I don't know about many people but I certainly don't treat my c/minder like that. I don't try to change days, pay the day I get the invoice, Christmas pressies for her kids etc and we're three years down the line now. She's ace and feels like one of the family, albeit a paid member! My only crime is being late sometimes if I'm stuck in traffic.

Notcontent Tue 31-Oct-17 21:54:36

Really??? Most people??? I don't think so.

And your point 3 is a bit silly - of course they will use a family member is available. I employed a nanny until recently and I would like to think she felt valued - but if my parents were visiting, then of course they wanted to look after dd instead of the nanny!!

fiorentina Tue 31-Oct-17 21:54:37

God I would hate to think I'm like that. I don't see most of my friends are like you say at all. They are v respectful and appreciative.

AuntLydia Tue 31-Oct-17 21:55:12

Thankfully that hasn't been my experience as a childminder. I've been lucky and found all my parents great to work with. In the case of childminders we're self employed so we can/would just give notice if people were arses anyway.

Snap8TheCat Tue 31-Oct-17 21:55:43

I’d like to add I don’t really get treated badly but there are the odd gripes. I have one family I have to remind to pay their invoice every single month.

Sienna333 Tue 31-Oct-17 21:55:51

It depends where you live and what hours you need. I used to work after school as I had another job. Although I knew I was being messed around a lot I knew it would be a pain in the arse finding another job to fit those hours so I stayed longer than I should.
Childminders work more on their own terms, nannies don't have that privilege. I feel childminders are more protected.

FittonTower Tue 31-Oct-17 21:56:09

Every one i know has nothing but love and respect for the people they leave tgeir children with. I know if I didn't I'd change my childcare arrangements - my kids are my most precious thing and I have pretty high standards for the nursery and Child minder I use and they always exceed my expectations.
Also. I've had my children on my own for the last 4 days (holidays and a sick father in law leaving me home alone with them). It's been such hard work! Anyone who does this as a job is a frickin superhero

Sienna333 Tue 31-Oct-17 21:58:13

Notcontent, I worded that wrong. I meant the family member is used during the time the nanny would be working and so nanny is not paid even though it is not her fault she isn't needed. I think it's a case of people getting too comfortable and knowing the nanny loves the kids so there is a confidence they will not leave. I really don't understand the mindset.

I’ve used the same childminder for over five years so I’ve got to know her pretty well. She has a lot of people who take the piss, it’s appealing. She does 6am starts on request and it’s really not unusual for her to have a child booked on then them not show up, followed by an 8am text from the parents saying they’ve slept In. I’ve known her have to go to peoples houses to ask for payment, had people turn up hours late to collect, complain when she books holidays etc.

*appalling!

vinoandbrie Tue 31-Oct-17 22:08:53

We go out of our way for our nanny, and have a mutually respectful relationship.

Why do we go out of our way? Because she is marvellous, part of the family, and we would be incredibly sad to see her go. We therefore do all we can to ensure we are fulfilling both the spirit and the letter of our contract with her, and providing a good salary with pay rises above inflation each year etc.

WellTidy Tue 31-Oct-17 22:09:55

We have a nanny, and have had for the last nine years. I don't recognise the behaviour you list at all, and I know that she doesn't either. Our nanny is fantastic, and I tell her that all the time. She is a superstar. I hope she feels valued by us giving her more (paid) holiday than is in her contract, a higher than average hourly rate, late starts whenever possible, gifts and praise galore.

SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning Tue 31-Oct-17 22:14:35

YABU. Some people yes but most?! I think you need new friends. I worked in childcare (nursery nurse and nanny) and this wasn’t my experience nor the experience of my friends who were in the same role.

brasty Tue 31-Oct-17 22:17:10

Nanny forums are full of women complaining about the awful way they are treated. Most stay too long because they love the kids.

Callaird Tue 31-Oct-17 22:19:22

I've been a nanny for 32 years. I have never been treated in any of those ways!

I am a part of my nanny family (second and third charges had their 32nd and 31st birthdays in the last 2 weeks and I went out for dinner with them, their parents, their partners and their 3 children, two of whom are my god children)

All my families have paid me for the hours I am contracted for. Current family have paid me for 9 weeks holiday so far this year, 2 more weeks booked off. Contracted to 5 weeks pa.

I know quite a few other nannies. We all have a butch about our employers annoying us but none of these things have ever come up!

Sienna333 Tue 31-Oct-17 22:22:26

In the case of people I know who have nannies, they all think they are wonderful employers but I know for a fact they are not fair in terms of sick pay, guaranteed hours, respect of nannies time...I am sure there are good bosses out there and I have had a few amazing ones in my time but some really do take the piss and I don't know how they sleep of a night knowing how they treat their employee.

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