Help! My mother is being awkward!

[Sadmum987]

So quick background DD is 17 she doesn't spend much time or do anything much with my parents. As far as I can make out my mum made a comment about a photograph of dd and her friends that was offensive and dd has never really forgiven her. My mum thinks she's just a "typical sulky teen" she has no idea it's anything more and I've left it as that because it's easier than saying dd hates you (ok so hate is a v strong work but you get my drift)
So Dd is organising a charity event at her school. The school sold tickets. I missed the email, it's my fault but that's that. We can't go.
My mums employer has donated a prize for the raffle and a few vouchers. Very kind but not worth a fortune and not sponsoring the event as she keeps saying!
So my mum is planning on gatecrashing by arriving just before to deliver their prize and just staying!
Dd doesn't know, she will be stressed to bits if she finds out as the school is very strict on the ticket sales etc. She hates being in trouble and I imagine a gatecrashing granny would just about finish her off.
Who is wrong my mum or me and what the fuck do I do?!

[MrsPringles]

Your mum needs to not be there, if there are limited tickets on sale then I imagine there is limited seats? So there will be nowhere for her to sit surely?

[Undercoverbanana]

Tell the school about the potential gate crashing granny so that they can be on the look out for her and handle her directly. If she makes a drama she will look a fool and the school security can get rid of her. No-one needs to know she's dd's granny.

[Foxysoxy01]

Well probably your DM is bu.

But I do think your DD may be over egging it a bit and the fallout is clouding her judgment and reaction on how 'upset' it will make her.

I would suggest you can't do anything with your DM, you won't stop her and it will just cause trouble if you try.
Your DD however can choose not to let it worry her, not to get het up about it and ignore it all. Try to get her to focus on what she has to do on/for the actual day rather than worrying about her Gran gate-crashing.

I would think if you don't make it a big deal and don't get involved in the drama your DD may not get so involved in the drama herself, whereas you worrying about it or making a big deal of it will just perpetuate the teen angst.

[Sadmum987]

Yes limited seats and limited tickets. She's going to stand st the back.
I can't tell the school... can I?! I'd be embarrassed to call and say that ;)
Foxy, possibly. My dm is known for expecting everything her way a bit!
I haven't responded to her text yet telling me of her plans so maybe best to ignore the whole thing?

[Angelicinnocent]

You should tell her that she is out of order and being very rude and cheeky regarding the event and explain the potential for DD to be hugely embarrassed.

If she still goes ahead though, you can't do much about it.

[Handsfull13]

I would call your Mum on it. Tell her the tickets are sold and even you can't attend and she will look daft gate crashing and you don't want her making your daughter feel uncomfortable being put on the spot. If you need to just sweeten the deal and tell her you will get her tickets to the next event.

[Sadmum987]

I've messaged back
Really??! The prizes and cards will need to be there early. Where are you going to hide til the hall fills up?

She's going to ring the school and ask if they can go. Dd would still be mortified but what she doesn't know won't hurt her I guess. Also figure if dm actually gets told "no" she has to stay away.
Gawd she's a pita sometimes!