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DH doesn't want me to go on Christmas night out

(63 Posts)
Sotuko Tue 31-Oct-17 12:21:39

I'm an introvert who tries to avoid socialising at all costs. However I've been invited to a works Christmas night out. I don't know anybody there apart from one woman who DH doesn't approve of. This is because last time I went out with her, she got horrendously drunk and tried to cop off with a number of blokes throughout the night, got us kicked out of a pub and got us kicked out of a takeaway. Nothing bad, just sillyness on her part (spilling drinks, taking shoes off, being loud etc). I remained pretty sober so was more of a bystander.

If I was to go to the Christmas night out I'd be going with her. DH is upset about it and thinks the night would consist of her trying to cop off with blokes and me becoming part and parcel of it basically.

He's never tried to stop me going out before and has asked if there is anyone else I could go on a Christmas night out with. He doesn't have a problem with any other friend.

Is he being unreasonable or does he have a point?

livefornaps Tue 31-Oct-17 12:23:20

I think he's being a misery but I also think it sounds like your friend has an alcohol problem

Appuskidu Tue 31-Oct-17 12:23:27

Regardless of what your husband thinks, I wouldn't want to go out with this woman anyway!

Shakey15000 Tue 31-Oct-17 12:25:40

What do you think or want to do?

XJerseyGirlX Tue 31-Oct-17 12:28:34

Why does this woman's antics mean your husband trusts you less? I would be so offended.
He has a problem. Do what you want to do.

HotelEuphoria Tue 31-Oct-17 12:29:26

If I wanted to go I would do irrespective of what DH said, however since you are an introvert anyway and it's a works Christmas Do where you only know one person (so presumably not your work) then quite frankly I don't know why you want to go.

Perhaps you don't.

WorraLiberty Tue 31-Oct-17 12:30:20

I'm more astonished that you want to go anywhere near this idiot?!

SilverSpot Tue 31-Oct-17 12:30:59

Why do you have to "go with" anyone?

Its a work christmas party. You don't need a [drunken liability] date.

IhaveapenIhavepineapple Tue 31-Oct-17 12:31:47

Have you posted this before? I'm sure I've read similar here.

CaretakerToNuns Tue 31-Oct-17 12:32:12

Your husband is a controlling prick. Do what YOU want to do.

Florene Tue 31-Oct-17 12:32:23

I take it this is the other woman's work night out that she's invited you to join, rather than your own? In which case I would probably decline and look for an alternative if I really wanted an Xmas night out.

Which I don't. Can't think of anything worse. Apart from maybe New Year.

Ho Ho Ho grin

QuestionforQuentin Tue 31-Oct-17 12:34:16

1. What's it got to do with him?
2. Just because your friend did that once, it doesn't mean she'll do it again.
3. If it's a work thing, surely you'll know more people than just her.

TheCowWentMoo Tue 31-Oct-17 12:34:54

Your DH is being a dick, so what id this woman is gonna be an idiot? Why does he care if this women gets with loads of men? Its not you and its up to you if you want to spend the evening with her or not. Her behaviour is completely irrelevant to your dh

Santawontbelong Tue 31-Oct-17 12:35:04

Presumably you won't be handcuffed to her and therefore be party to any threesomes.
Have a lovely night!!. Betting the real issue is he is expected to 'babysit'.

PandorasXbox Tue 31-Oct-17 12:35:34

Do you want to go? Personally from what you’ve said I’d give it a miss!

Bluntness100 Tue 31-Oct-17 12:36:22

Op, have you posted about this before? This seems familiar to me, has your husband tried to prevent you going out with her before?

Sotuko Tue 31-Oct-17 12:37:05

No it's my work too but I'm a mobile worker so rarely mix with the others. I see them in passing if I need to go into the office but I couldn't name most of them! I know this woman from a previous job (and we both happened to move to this one). She's very popular, centre of attention type, everyone loves her. I like her too and she's hilarious to be around but I must admit, her antics clash entirely with mine!

I'm not 100% sure I want to go but it's the only opportunity of a Christmas night out I've got.

confusedlittleone Tue 31-Oct-17 12:37:58

Have you posted about this woman before??

Nocabbageinmyeye Tue 31-Oct-17 12:39:22

Oh come on it was one time, give the woman a chance. Do what you want to do and ignore your dh, he sounds like a judge controlling that

Happyemoji Tue 31-Oct-17 12:39:25

I don't know what to say. She sounds like a man eater. It's up to you if you want to go out with her. Is he a little insecure about the relationship.

PandorasXbox Tue 31-Oct-17 12:43:14

Sounds like you want to go more than not?
You could go and if she starts being a pita then leave?

Or maybe try and mix with people you don’t know well, steering well clear of her? grin

SatansLittleHelper2 Tue 31-Oct-17 12:45:04

I dunno........I think i'm with the dh on this one.

Then again I ended up with a criminal conviction thanks to associating with a knob like your friend (( i'd done bog all amd was trying to weed said knob friend out of a situation but was a case of wrong place, wrong time and no way of proving it ))

ReanimatedSGB Tue 31-Oct-17 12:49:09

Were you always an introvert, OP, or did it start around the time you met your H? Sometimes abusive, controlling men can convince you that you have a problem because it suits them if you are frightened to go out, or think everyone's laughing at you or talking about you or whatever...

ColinCreevy Tue 31-Oct-17 12:52:26

Im sure I've read about this before. Your DH can't control who you go out with obviously but if you are the same poster this woman sounds like trouble and I wouldn't want to socialise with her.

jannier Tue 31-Oct-17 12:52:35

If you want to go go, if you start to feel uncomfortable say You need to leave it doesn't sound like she would have a problem with that. Make it clear your not going anywhere else and enjoy the night. As its a work do she will probably be better that just a night out. If she isn't its not like its just the 2 of you walking the streets.
Your DH should be able to trust you as an adult to make your own decision fair enough say I wouldn't but apart from that leave it up to you.....its not like your his teenage child. Often people judge these things on the basis of how they would behave and he doesn't trust himself to stay sober and sensible with some of his mates?

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