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To think I do respect my mum?

(8 Posts)
SeaSawRocker Tue 31-Oct-17 11:05:25

My DM and I have an odd relationship. We're quite close, but we're more like friends or sisters now than mother/daughter.

We have a lot of "banter" between us where we insult each other, the insults are never taken too far and if they are the offender apologises and it's forgotten. We both understand there are some topics we don't joke about; we never joke about my DD (2) and her disabilities, we never joke about my DBro and we never ever talk badly about my Granddad, these are unwritten words.

But every other topic is fair game, and sometimes our "jokes" spread onto Facebook where my DMs work colleagues will get involved in it and join in with our jokes. We both give as good as we get and everyone involved understands that if the person being insulted says "stop" that it stops. The jokes are usually about my mothers age (she's only 55 but we jokingly will add a couple of 0s) or the fact that I look way too young to be a mum (I'm 25 with a 2 year old but often get IDed so the jokes are "At least I didn't get pregnant at 12" etc). When we need to be serious we are, we just enjoy each others company a lot and find each other funny.

I do love my DM, and think we have a great relationship. We do normal mother daughter activities like shopping and spa days. My DM is amazing and always there for me, she was one of my birthing partners when DD was born, when DD was in hospital a few weeks ago she was at the hospital as much as me, and she picks my DD up from Nursery one day a fortnight so I can catch up on housework after work. I help her with things too, if I make extra food that I'm planning to freeze I put it in a foil container and send it to my DMs for her to take to work, I order her online shopping for her because she isn't confident doing it, I feed her cats for free when she goes on holiday, and I buy the most amazing Christmas and Birthday presents for her. A few weeks ago I won a voucher for tea for two at a local cafe and took my DM, I paid £1 to enter the raffle and the prize was worth £30 (and definitely was worth that much as it was amazing!), so I see the relationship as equal. We don't live in each others pockets but see a lot of each other at least once per week.

One of my friends has said I don't respect my DM and I need to learn to respect her. She said that one day my DM won't be here and I might regret being so horrible to her.

So AIBU to think I do respect my mum?

WhatwouldAryado Tue 31-Oct-17 11:07:44

It's not really anyone else's business but you and your mum's. Ignore the friend. You Don't really have to justify things to her.

confusedlittleone Tue 31-Oct-17 11:09:15

The thing with things being said online is that for people from the outside it may appear to be more malicious then it is- so even though you do it might not look like it to people from the outside! But yes you do respect her and as long as she (your mum) sees that then there's no problems 😊

splendidisolation Tue 31-Oct-17 11:09:30

Course you do!

Sounds great.

crazycatlady5 Tue 31-Oct-17 11:11:57

Your friend sounds ridiculous, is she from Victorian times?

RebeccaWrongDaily Tue 31-Oct-17 11:12:59

as long as you'd be happy for everyone else to join in your public 'bantz'.

If DP made a comment (as part of an ongoing bant) about me being a lazy cow and others waded in similarly I'd be a bit 'hun'?'

how would you feel if a mutual friend was making similar jokes, publicly about you/your mum?

hesterton Tue 31-Oct-17 11:16:14

Ask your mum how she feels. Listen to her answer. Then that's your way forward.

Haffiana Tue 31-Oct-17 11:43:18

Your friend has a very narrow view of relationships and what respect is about.

She has probably been brought up to mistake politeness for real relationship.

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