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To think that most family arguments centre around money?

(42 Posts)
Babababababybel23 Tue 31-Oct-17 11:02:52

Looking back it has been the cause of all of our arguments and is the reason I've been NC with my DB for 6 years

MamaOfTwos Tue 31-Oct-17 11:05:26

I disagree, ours have been over my narcissistic mother

Battleax Tue 31-Oct-17 11:05:35

Not really. Not "most".

Jealousy is also a big one.

Personality clashes.

Overhyped special occasions and perfection.

Then there's proper dysfunction, personality disorder and so on.

ZooeyAndFranny Tue 31-Oct-17 11:07:21

Totally disagree.

Our arguments are about respect, nosiness, arrogance, narcissism, bossiness and sausages.

sinceyouask Tue 31-Oct-17 11:12:13

Hmm, not IME.
My dad's disputes with his family were mostly around sectarianism (he did not want to be an Orange wanker, they found this both offensive and confusing) and Causing Scandal (I think the lack of Orange wankerness was a big part of this, also the having the temerity to leave Scotland and get an education in England and have long hair and marry a woman who was not a nice Orange central Scottish girl).
My mum's family just fight and argue about everything. Money was part of the fights around the time my nana was very ill/ dying/ had died, but to be fair to them they can and do have 20 year feuds about things that have nothing to do with money. There is a lot of taking offence. It's very hard to avoid giving offence, the rules as to what is offensive and what is not change regularly.
When DH and I argue it's never about money, money is the one single thing we are always in agreement about (it's all family money, all debts are equally our responsibilities, everyone needs to have a chance to enjoy any money left over after the essentials are paid off). It's mostly about parenting and housework and whether or not football is taking over our lives.

Justgivemesomepeace Tue 31-Oct-17 11:16:04

Not here. It's more around him overreacting to 'risks' and expecting me to go along with it. This weekends was a 'lethal' paper plate ghost tucked in the mirror over the fireplace. 'Lethal' as it's over the fire. And stating the obvious as though I'm thick.

DerelictWreck Tue 31-Oct-17 11:18:05

and sausages grin

What's to argue about? Food of the Gods!

dinoboogie Tue 31-Oct-17 11:23:22


Bluntness100 Tue 31-Oct-17 11:30:47

Op, it seems you mean your parents and siblings and not your immediate family ie partner and kids?

No it’s not thr cause of arguments in my family either, neither immediate or extended.

There has been arguments about money, when my husband and I were younger we did argue about money for a period when it was tight. As an extended family no, and on my husbands side, once over a will, but it was resolved relatively quickly, so not really there either.

WatchingFromTheWings Tue 31-Oct-17 11:31:31

Mainly argue about housework here! Very very rarely money.

ConciseandNice Tue 31-Oct-17 11:34:50

We argue about sex. The lack of shagging in my life is a real bug bear. After that, money.

SecretSmellies Tue 31-Oct-17 11:35:01

Family arguments -

DM side. Mainly around the sexual, emotionaland physical abuse of DM's father against the children and her mother enabling it/in denial- fallout has carried on some 70 years.

DF side- about loans to one sister which are never paid back, and her exploiting her parents.

DH's Father's side- about his father migrating to the UK years ago and refusing to have anything to do with his birth family.

DH -about his brother going into their DM's bank account when she was on her death bed, and emptying it and scarpering to the West Indies.

2 out of 4 were about money.

FenceSitter01 Tue 31-Oct-17 11:36:19

Financial stress is the biggest cause of marital/partnership breakdown. Old article but it's the most unbiased, God forbid we descend into an appropriate MSM link debate:

58% cited money
21% cited infidelity

“Arguments about money [are] by far the top predictor of divorce,” she said. “It’s not children, sex, in-laws or anything else. It’s money — for both men and women.”

SecretSmellies Tue 31-Oct-17 11:36:34

DH and I argue about sex, housework and him having unrealisitic expectations of his profoundly autistic son.

BernardBlacksHangover Tue 31-Oct-17 11:38:36

Not yet in my family... but there's still time! We normally argue about other stuff ATM. Usually people having affairs! Both my parents and one of my siblings have had at least one affair each which has caused a load of drama.

LittleLionMansMummy Tue 31-Oct-17 12:04:19

No. In my (extended) family it's usually different values, communication styles and expectations around reciprocation. Personalities if you like. Some of which might involve money, but more likely different lifestyles and subsequent behaviour. And throw alcohol into the mix and things just get a bit too 'honest' and people don't apply filters.

Dh and I don't argue much any more, so no real issues there. Used to be exacerbated by alcohol but neither of us drinks much any more, so fewer misunderstandings.

RedSkyAtNight Tue 31-Oct-17 12:43:40

My parents (well my mother) argue with me about education. Basically there is her way and the wrong way. And according to her I know nothing about higher education, despite working in it.

cordeliavorkosigan Tue 31-Oct-17 12:48:03

It's time, I think. For us.
It's probably about what you care about and whatever you feel is tight.
I read something that said people typically have conflict ( in marriages ) about sex, time, money and other people.

Witchend Tue 31-Oct-17 13:00:59

I don't think we've ever argued over money.
Who has the newest computer used to be a common one until it was sorted.
The biggest arguments are usually between the children about something really important like "she's not sitting still..." wink

JenniferYellowHat1980 Tue 31-Oct-17 19:43:00

I haven’t argued with my extended family as such but I don’t see them any more because they have very different values.

Whinesalot Tue 31-Oct-17 19:52:48

We don't argue - we bicker, but it is never over money.

Topseyt Tue 31-Oct-17 20:00:49

My family are more likely to argue about who uses the bathroom and when, before going to bed and when getting ready to go to work, school and college in the mornings.

There's the odd snap about money, but not too often, thankfully.

Birdsgottafly Tue 31-Oct-17 21:51:58

Not in my experience, there's only one family that has gone NC over an unfair inheritance.

In our family, it's about unrealistic expectations and egos. We have one massive CF, who it starts from.

LaBelleSausage Wed 01-Nov-17 05:59:12

DerelictWreck agreed grin

We mainly argue over my inability to make a decision, especially when DH is hungry.

It’s never important though, more along the lines of ‘which supermarket do you want to go to?’ Then him taking offence at my ‘I really don’t care’

MuseumOfCurry Wed 01-Nov-17 06:08:29

My husband and I have been married 15 years and we've fought mightily about many things, but never money.

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