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To think why should I miss out because of your fuck up?

(18 Posts)
WellitsOk Mon 30-Oct-17 19:40:32

Earlier this year myself, dp and 2 friends thought about going away for 3 nights in December for my birthday. We have a Dd who was going to stay with dp family.

These past 2 weeks I've mentioned about booking flights and hotel and all I've got was " I don't know what to do yet ". He needs to pay to have his car done and this week we have had bailiffs at our door because he didn't pay a speeding fine months ago!! It's £650 and he's set up to pay in instalments. Again tonight he's said about everything that needs paying when really it's just stuff he wants/needs.

So I mentioned about maybe just I go with a friend, he's got arsey saying oh you just want to go with your mate I see now!

Aibu to be fucked off? I've only got back to work this year (Thank god) and have my own money, I can pay for the trip. I rarely got a penny out of him when I was at home, and it was ok for him to book a break away to the same place with his friends!

Looking back when I was a sahm and how I was so fed up of not managing bills, getting into debt and living in the same clothes because I had no money, and now I am able to support myself and Dd after this last week with the whole bailiff thing I'm just thinking to myself WTF am I doing? I am so much better of financially and probably in other ways without him.

lionsleepstonight Mon 30-Oct-17 19:44:24

I imagine he expected you to pay for him.
Go with your friend, have a great time. Once back assess your relationship and if you need this passenger in your life.

pompomcat Mon 30-Oct-17 19:46:49

YADNBU @WellitsOk! I thought “fair enough” when you mentioned going away for a short break without him given that he’s been so financially irresponsible, but it just got worse. Sounds like he has been/is being really quite selfish (can’t believe it when you said he withheld money whilst you were looking after your DD and went away himself!!!) You should def book a trip and enjoy your birthday 😊 and I wouldnt blame you if you dumped his sorry ass the second you got home either

user1497357411 Mon 30-Oct-17 19:47:04

So his money is his money and your money belongs to both of you? Hmm. I don't think so.

Tobebythesea Mon 30-Oct-17 19:50:12

Agree with Lion. Go in the trip without DP and have fun.

KeepItAsItIs Mon 30-Oct-17 19:52:26

Go with your friend. He sounds like he was stalling and making excuses anyway so sack him off. It also sounds like he doesn't like you being financially independant, which is not a good trait in a partner.

Anecdoche Mon 30-Oct-17 19:53:22

remind him he went away with his friends and ask him to explain why its ok for him but not you.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow Mon 30-Oct-17 20:04:26

Go and tell him to sling his hook whilst you're gone.

Trafalgarxxx Mon 30-Oct-17 20:07:18

Actullay, I would go with your friend and let him look after your dd. Just as he did when he went away with his friends.

GabsAlot Mon 30-Oct-17 20:10:29

he sounds a catch

so its ok for him to go away gt speeding fines and then not pay for thm

tell himto fuck off to fucksville

honeyroar Mon 30-Oct-17 20:11:39

So whT does he want? For you to have a miserable birthday because he's crap financially! You may be right, you may be better off without him!

SilverSpot Mon 30-Oct-17 20:15:16

The child is his?

How about he stays at home and looks after his own child with you go away with your friends, then dump him on return.

Ttbb Mon 30-Oct-17 20:16:03

YANBU. Just go.

Aderyn17 Mon 30-Oct-17 20:21:17

I'd advise that you get rid and get his name off your address before you go anywhere. You don't want to come home and find the bailiffs have cleared out your house because he is an irresponsible arse who hasn't paid his bills.
Honestly, get your house in order and ditch this loser and I guarantee you'll have a much more relaxing and fun time away!

Fluffycloudland77 Mon 30-Oct-17 20:33:21

It sounds like you would be better off without him, who wants bailiffs turning up?.

MinervaSaidThar Mon 30-Oct-17 20:43:56

Hopefully this is the epiphany you need to leave him!

Miserylovescompany2 Tue 31-Oct-17 13:56:09

I think you NEED this break - go, don't even give it a second thought - whilst away from all the shite, you might well continue your break...

FeeLock28 Tue 31-Oct-17 20:26:45

There aren't many advantages to being with this man, are there? Allowing a speeding fine to escalate to the hundreds, plus bailiffs, is childish and irresponsible. Quite apart from his wanting you to pay for him left, right and centre.

Suggest you consider v seriously separating yourself from him; setting up access (if he is your child's father); being an independent person and thinker. Good luck!

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