My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

Neighbour seems annoyed by my house party

61 replies

Tobythecat · 30/10/2017 15:21

I had a little house party the other day. I've lived here over 2 years, never played music or had a party until the other night. I started playing music at 7pm on friday, (I live in an upstairs flat)and turned music off at 9.30. Friends left at 11 and I went to bed.

Bearing in mind this neighbour plays his trumpet throughout the week/weekends, as soon as i put the music on he started playing his trumpet, and has done everyday since friday.

I just saw him by the car and waved to him, he gave me a filthy look and turned his back on me (he is usually very friendly).

I know his wife works random shifts, but this was a one off, and I deliberately had it on a Friday so most people wouldn't have work in the morning. I turned the music off by 9.30 and I have never had a party or played music in all the time i've lived here.

AIBU to think neighbour is being a petty cuntflop?

OP posts:
Report
AppleFlash · 30/10/2017 15:22

Buy a trumpet!

Report
Tobythecat · 30/10/2017 15:22

I'm thinking of taking up the Tuba!

OP posts:
Report
OuchLegoHurts · 30/10/2017 15:22

Music off and everyone gone by 11? That's model neighbour behaviour. He's being unreasonable.

Report
SweetCrustPastry · 30/10/2017 15:23

Is he sulking him because you didn't invite/warm him about the party?

Report
HateHomework · 30/10/2017 15:23

Yes he probably is especially as you never had a party before and he probably feels entitled to his trumpet but did you warn him you'd be having it, out of courtesy?

Report
Looneytune253 · 30/10/2017 15:23

I’m guessing you warned them there would be music after what most people would deem acceptable? I wouldn’t appreciate music in a flat after 7pm tbh. Unless it was a one off and neighbour pre warned me.

Report
BenLui · 30/10/2017 15:23

I think your party sounds extremely considerate.

Maybe he just wanted an invitation!

Report
Tobythecat · 30/10/2017 15:24

I didn't warn him, no. I'm quite a private person and would feel awkward knocking his door as he gives me the heebie jeebies.

OP posts:
Report
OuchLegoHurts · 30/10/2017 15:27

I wouldn't have warned him either if the music was going to be over by 9.30. That's before night time mouse rules even apply!

Report
OuchLegoHurts · 30/10/2017 15:27

Noise rules, not mouse rules!!

Report
presentcontinuous · 30/10/2017 15:28

Put a note through his door to apologise for not warning him, point out it was a one-off and leave it at that. You could mention that the trumpet isn't exactly a silent hobby if you're feeling brave

Report
OuchLegoHurts · 30/10/2017 15:30

I wouldn't apologise or write a note, the music was over by 9.30! She hasn't even slightly behaved unreasonably

Report
Fekko · 30/10/2017 15:31

Have you thought of learning the bagpipes?

Report
TSSDNCOP · 30/10/2017 15:32

The smart move would have been a note through the door explaining your plans. I bet he's more cheesed not to be invited.

Report
Jaxhog · 30/10/2017 15:32

Put a note through his door to apologise for not warning him, point out it was a one-off and leave it at that.
This. It might seem over the top, but sometimes that's necessary to keep the peace with difficult neighbours.

Report
TerrifyingFeistyCupcake · 30/10/2017 15:35

I wish my neighbours had parties like yours. I've spent too many nights with earplugs in listening to bass pound until 4.

That said, as someone with an overdeveloped anxiety and annoyance response to partying neighbours due to past experience, I would love a note through the door to say "just FYI, I'll be having people over on Sat, we'll wrap the whole thing up by midnight" or similar. Local music festivals, even though their speaker power far outstrips that of a private home, never bother me because they all have a 10:30pm curfew. It's lying (or sitting) there wondering if you're going to be putting up with THUD THUD THUD till the early hours that is really stressful, so to know in advance you plan to wrap up at a sensible time is really helpful.

Report
SilverSpot · 30/10/2017 15:39

I can't believe people would pander to some twat who has an issue with the OP playing music until 9.30 at night but plays his trumpet often?

I'd totally ignore him. And get into the habit of playing music more regularly, like every time he plays his trumpet.

Report
LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 30/10/2017 15:41

mouse rules Grin

OP it seems to me that on MN most people think that you should make no noise at all between the hours of 6pm-6am. Including car doors/engine noises/kids playing/music/parties.
Completely ignoring the fact that a lot of people start work earlier/finish work later than others/lead different lives.

I'd love your NDN to try living round here.
We have kids playing out till all hours, parties in all different houses over the year, BBQs all summer etc etc.
No one asks permission, and nobody minds.
It's expected in our little cul de sac that people and families make noise.

Give n take innit? Grin

Seriously in my area, turning the music off at 9.30 basically equates to having a tea party. If the music goes off at 12 it's not even a proper party! Grin

Report
RatRolyPoly · 30/10/2017 15:41

Maybe he was thinking, "what sort of monster kills the music at 9:30?? She's not the girl* I thought she was".

*I acknowledge you may not be a gurl.

Report
Fruitcorner123 · 30/10/2017 15:47

I wouldn’t appreciate music in a flat after 7pm tbh

Really?

Youve done nothing wrong OP and inwouldnt bother with an apology he is unreasonable

Report
SecretSmellies · 30/10/2017 15:48

I had a neighbour who had insomnia who used to play the trumpet (the last post.The only thing he knew) over and over again all through the night.

So I started applauding him whenever he drew for breath until he got the fucking hint. (Took about 3 hours).

O- if your houseparty seriously finished the music at 9.30 on a Friday night I'm not sure he is in any position to grumble. So ignore him. (Or applaud him loudly and often).

Report
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 30/10/2017 15:50

I wouldn't apologise at this point either, you did nothing wrong!
But I might consider dropping a note to him about his persistent trumpet playing...

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 30/10/2017 15:51

And like fuck would I apologize ffs.

Music till 9.30 is so unbelievably normal that there is no way in hell anyone should apologize for that!

I get if people have MH issues etc that its really horrible. I also understand that people have different lifestyles.
If a neighbour came to me and said "I struggle with the noise, can you warn me when you have a party" I would bend over backwards to accommodate their needs.

My neighbours like to get up and chat to each other in the garden at 6am, my other NDNs like to play annoying (to me!) music at 9am on random weekdays, others around me have frequent BBQs/parties in summer, the kids all play out till late in the holidays.
And in return I don't feel guilty that I have my mates out in the garden till 11, or have a BBQ, or play weird punk at 10pm, because we've all got an unspoken agreement that this is what our local life is. (plus it helps that we all know at least some of our neighbours from decent chats/the pub etc.
We are all on the same page. (and trust me, round here, if you piss someone off you will know about it! Grin)

Report
MycatsaPirate · 30/10/2017 15:51

Mouse rules :o

Your NDN should try living next door to an ex neighbour of mine who would come home from the pub hammered and play the fucking drums until 2am. AND he had a wife and two kids.

We had to call the police regularly, it was exhausting listening to him every night and even his wife got fed up and locked him out. So then we had to listen to him hammering on the door and screaming to be let in.

He used to have to sleep in the shed.

Report
Andrewofgg · 30/10/2017 16:05

There is no need and no excuse for amplified music at night, which I read as after 10.00 p.m., which will affect anyone's home. Friends of mine have an issue with a church hall being used for weddings and the like with the music at full THUD-CRASH level until midnight and beyond. They got planning permission because "it wouldn't be viable otherwise" - but only for 11.30, itself much too late, which they then ignore. And of course when the music stops they are regaled with shouting and laughing and car doors banging. The music should stop at 10.00 latest and the premises be locked down by 10.30 latest.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.