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Neighbour seems annoyed by my house party

(62 Posts)
Tobythecat Mon 30-Oct-17 15:21:18

I had a little house party the other day. I've lived here over 2 years, never played music or had a party until the other night. I started playing music at 7pm on friday, (I live in an upstairs flat)and turned music off at 9.30. Friends left at 11 and I went to bed.

Bearing in mind this neighbour plays his trumpet throughout the week/weekends, as soon as i put the music on he started playing his trumpet, and has done everyday since friday.

I just saw him by the car and waved to him, he gave me a filthy look and turned his back on me (he is usually very friendly).

I know his wife works random shifts, but this was a one off, and I deliberately had it on a Friday so most people wouldn't have work in the morning. I turned the music off by 9.30 and I have never had a party or played music in all the time i've lived here.

AIBU to think neighbour is being a petty cuntflop?

AppleFlash Mon 30-Oct-17 15:22:04

Buy a trumpet!

Tobythecat Mon 30-Oct-17 15:22:27

I'm thinking of taking up the Tuba!

OuchLegoHurts Mon 30-Oct-17 15:22:35

Music off and everyone gone by 11? That's model neighbour behaviour. He's being unreasonable.

SweetCrustPastry Mon 30-Oct-17 15:23:04

Is he sulking him because you didn't invite/warm him about the party?

HateHomework Mon 30-Oct-17 15:23:08

Yes he probably is especially as you never had a party before and he probably feels entitled to his trumpet but did you warn him you'd be having it, out of courtesy?

Looneytune253 Mon 30-Oct-17 15:23:09

I’m guessing you warned them there would be music after what most people would deem acceptable? I wouldn’t appreciate music in a flat after 7pm tbh. Unless it was a one off and neighbour pre warned me.

BenLui Mon 30-Oct-17 15:23:12

I think your party sounds extremely considerate.

Maybe he just wanted an invitation!

Tobythecat Mon 30-Oct-17 15:24:47

I didn't warn him, no. I'm quite a private person and would feel awkward knocking his door as he gives me the heebie jeebies.

OuchLegoHurts Mon 30-Oct-17 15:27:20

I wouldn't have warned him either if the music was going to be over by 9.30. That's before night time mouse rules even apply!

OuchLegoHurts Mon 30-Oct-17 15:27:40

Noise rules, not mouse rules!!

presentcontinuous Mon 30-Oct-17 15:28:40

Put a note through his door to apologise for not warning him, point out it was a one-off and leave it at that. You could mention that the trumpet isn't exactly a silent hobby if you're feeling brave

OuchLegoHurts Mon 30-Oct-17 15:30:39

I wouldn't apologise or write a note, the music was over by 9.30! She hasn't even slightly behaved unreasonably

Fekko Mon 30-Oct-17 15:31:33

Have you thought of learning the bagpipes?

TSSDNCOP Mon 30-Oct-17 15:32:40

The smart move would have been a note through the door explaining your plans. I bet he's more cheesed not to be invited.

Jaxhog Mon 30-Oct-17 15:32:53

Put a note through his door to apologise for not warning him, point out it was a one-off and leave it at that.
This. It might seem over the top, but sometimes that's necessary to keep the peace with difficult neighbours.

TerrifyingFeistyCupcake Mon 30-Oct-17 15:35:22

I wish my neighbours had parties like yours. I've spent too many nights with earplugs in listening to bass pound until 4.

That said, as someone with an overdeveloped anxiety and annoyance response to partying neighbours due to past experience, I would love a note through the door to say "just FYI, I'll be having people over on Sat, we'll wrap the whole thing up by midnight" or similar. Local music festivals, even though their speaker power far outstrips that of a private home, never bother me because they all have a 10:30pm curfew. It's lying (or sitting) there wondering if you're going to be putting up with THUD THUD THUD till the early hours that is really stressful, so to know in advance you plan to wrap up at a sensible time is really helpful.

SilverSpot Mon 30-Oct-17 15:39:31

I can't believe people would pander to some twat who has an issue with the OP playing music until 9.30 at night but plays his trumpet often?

I'd totally ignore him. And get into the habit of playing music more regularly, like every time he plays his trumpet.

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle Mon 30-Oct-17 15:41:13

mouse rules grin

OP it seems to me that on MN most people think that you should make no noise at all between the hours of 6pm-6am. Including car doors/engine noises/kids playing/music/parties.
Completely ignoring the fact that a lot of people start work earlier/finish work later than others/lead different lives.

I'd love your NDN to try living round here.
We have kids playing out till all hours, parties in all different houses over the year, BBQs all summer etc etc.
No one asks permission, and nobody minds.
It's expected in our little cul de sac that people and families make noise.

Give n take innit? grin

Seriously in my area, turning the music off at 9.30 basically equates to having a tea party. If the music goes off at 12 it's not even a proper party! grin

RatRolyPoly Mon 30-Oct-17 15:41:45

Maybe he was thinking, "what sort of monster kills the music at 9:30?? She's not the girl* I thought she was".

*I acknowledge you may not be a gurl.

Fruitcorner123 Mon 30-Oct-17 15:47:07

I wouldn’t appreciate music in a flat after 7pm tbh


Youve done nothing wrong OP and inwouldnt bother with an apology he is unreasonable

SecretSmellies Mon 30-Oct-17 15:48:43

I had a neighbour who had insomnia who used to play the trumpet (the last post.The only thing he knew) over and over again all through the night.

So I started applauding him whenever he drew for breath until he got the fucking hint. (Took about 3 hours).

O- if your houseparty seriously finished the music at 9.30 on a Friday night I'm not sure he is in any position to grumble. So ignore him. (Or applaud him loudly and often).

ThumbWitchesAbroad Mon 30-Oct-17 15:50:03

I wouldn't apologise at this point either, you did nothing wrong!
But I might consider dropping a note to him about his persistent trumpet playing...

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle Mon 30-Oct-17 15:51:37

And like fuck would I apologize ffs.

Music till 9.30 is so unbelievably normal that there is no way in hell anyone should apologize for that!

I get if people have MH issues etc that its really horrible. I also understand that people have different lifestyles.
If a neighbour came to me and said "I struggle with the noise, can you warn me when you have a party" I would bend over backwards to accommodate their needs.

My neighbours like to get up and chat to each other in the garden at 6am, my other NDNs like to play annoying (to me!) music at 9am on random weekdays, others around me have frequent BBQs/parties in summer, the kids all play out till late in the holidays.
And in return I don't feel guilty that I have my mates out in the garden till 11, or have a BBQ, or play weird punk at 10pm, because we've all got an unspoken agreement that this is what our local life is. (plus it helps that we all know at least some of our neighbours from decent chats/the pub etc.
We are all on the same page. (and trust me, round here, if you piss someone off you will know about it! grin)

MycatsaPirate Mon 30-Oct-17 15:51:42

Mouse rules grin

Your NDN should try living next door to an ex neighbour of mine who would come home from the pub hammered and play the fucking drums until 2am. AND he had a wife and two kids.

We had to call the police regularly, it was exhausting listening to him every night and even his wife got fed up and locked him out. So then we had to listen to him hammering on the door and screaming to be let in.

He used to have to sleep in the shed.

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