AIBU to not go to work tomorrow ~depression~(29 Posts)
Namechange because personal.
I'm stressed out to the max.
DP doesn't know how to handle this depression.
Comes and go's in waves. Right now I do not want to exist. Don't want to face anyone or anything. Yet sat at work holding back tears trying to get through the day again.
Recently self harmed again. I'm not proud.
I need to escape.
I don't think I can face work tomorrow.
Don't know how to get away with not going in.
Need to be signed off, that's the only legit way of not getting into shit with work.
How do I do this???!
No nasty comments please, I need some genuine advice from genuine people.
Also, I've been told time after time again that if I feel at all suicidal to ring someone. But who?! I surely can't go to A&E- what a waste of their time when I'm not hurt just wanting to hurt. So WHO on earth do I call?
Feeling so alone.
you need to get yourself to your doctor, get some medication/treatment and signed off
Call your GP and insist on an emergency appointment, and then tell them in all honesty how bad you feel.
Or call 111.
Or call the Samaritans. But hang in there. There is hope of better days after depression and self harm, I speak from my own experience.
Go to GP and get signed off for depression. They will do it if you tell them what you’ve said here.
If feeling suicidal, please ring Samaritans. You can ask for NHS counselling but it may take a while and they advise you to seek care in the meantime. The Samaritans are very, very good in those times.
I've said all of the above to my GP multiple times a few months back.
Also going to GP involves not being at work... need an excuse to not go in first.
I find it really difficult to speak to samaritans, let alone anyone else. Typing is much easier. I never know what to say, too afraid they'll call an ambulance or something if I say yes to "feeling suicidal?"
They won't and can't call an ambulance to you OP. They can't and don't trace your number. And even if you gave it to them they wouldn't unless you asked them to. Trust me. I work there.
You can text or email them if you'd rather not call. 07725909090 is text and firstname.lastname@example.org is their email. They aim to reply within 12 hours as they're very busy on email. Text should be more quick.
Can you ask to see a difference go? Or get your dp to make an appointment for you? He can tell them it’s very urgent.
Is there a walk-in medical centre near you? Can you phone the GP for an urgent telephone consultation, preferably with someone other than your usual GP?
Hi, I'm so sorry you are feeling this way.
Take a deep breath. Tell work you are feeling very unwell and need to go home immediately) call your GP and tell the receptionist that you have depression and are feeling suicidal and need to see a doctor urgently. It's hard to say, but just pretend you are reading lines from a script. That should be enough to get you any slots they may have.
The GP should discuss medication and talking therapies with you. Tell them
You do not feel able to work until these things have come into effect. If you feel you would benefit from counselling (and lots of people do) and don't want to wait, go into the BACP website and find a local private counsellor in your area. It can be expensive but some offer concessions.
In my experience depression falls into two categories - either it's part of your genetic make-up and medication will really give you the chemical help you need and deserve or it is a reaction to things in our life that may be making us unhappy and once we tackle those the depression eases. That's where CBT or psychotherapy help.
The Samaritans offer an email service - email@example.com
Thank you to everyone for your messages so far-
Unfortunately there are only 3 other people at my work so going home halfway through the day is not an option
I'm going to call my GP first thing tomorrow and try to get an appointment same day- will have to think up excuses to tell work as to why I'm leaving work early.
Until I have actually been signed off I don't want to mention depression to work- they are not very understanding... very judgemental about these sort of things.
Will ring Samaritans as soon as I'm out of here tonight...
Just need to get through the next 2 & 1/2 hours :/
Any tips for excuses guys?
Tell work you have an appointment which you can’t miss, and you don’t mind making up the time the next day or whatever. Do not say what it’s about or feel pressured into telling them.
OP my mum is a Samaritan, they do so much more listening by text than phone these days. Please do reach out to them. They can just listen or suggest how you can get help.
You don’t need an excuse. Made up or otherwise. The REASON you can’t go into work is that you’re unwell.
Make sure you follow your company policy when reporting in sick and then focus on getting an appointment with your doctor.
Tell your line manager (or whoever deals with sickness absences) that you are unwell, not sure what the problem is and will be able to tell them when you have seen the doctor.
You don’t have to produce a doctor’s note until you have been absent for a week.
"I can't come in today. I have a doctors appointment."
"I'm really sorry, but I have to go home. I am feeling really unwell and the doctor has just given me an emergency appointment for in 3 minutes time."
^30 minutes time. Unless you work in the surgery you might have trouble getting there is 3 minutes.
I was in your place not long ago. If you feel you absolutely cannot cope then you go to the nearest a&e department,it is a psych emergency, and ask to speak to the crisis team(in my trust it is a psych nurse who can prescribe and support you) they will be able to give you some short term coping strategies and possibly book you into be seen by the psych doctors either as an outpatient or have you admitted into the hospital if they feel you need more immediate support.
The Samaritans are brilliant and they have got me through some very dark lonely nights. Sometimes just putting it all down in an email helped me.
My work place were the absolute shits when it came to my mental health and it got to the point where I simply rung up and said "I am unwell and I will bring my sick note in when I am able to" and some doctors will put "stress" rather than depression if you ask them to if you feel that being signed off with depression would be viewed as a negative thing.
Keep pushing your gp for support either through medication or counselling(which ever you feel you need or want to try) I tried many types of medication and none of them worked for me and I'm now on a course of dbt.
Speak to a different gp and say that you want help , it's crazy but sometimes you do have to be very forceful to get the help that you need which is unhelpful when you are feeling fragile. It helped one of my friends to have someone else with her to act as her advocate when it came to the gp.
Thank you all so so much.
Leaving work now isn't an option sadly, I don't think I can face my boss. (Theres only 3 of us here) So making an excuse would shine through as just that. Even though it isn't an excuse but people who have no understanding of depression & mock it regularly would see it as just that. I'll have to try tomorrow... GP closes by the time I finish work
Arealhumanbeing- that sounds like a good idea but if I go to my line managery person she'll of course have to tell my boss and they're best buddies... no secrecy here.
Feel very stuck.
Can you email boss and just go? You can self certificate for a week x
If only... she sits directly opposite me
I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this OP. If you have to then get through this afternoon and call in sick tomorrow. Make an appointment first thing - tell them you need an emergency appointment and cite mental health if you must. Think of the old broken leg anecdote - you need to treat the way youre feeling with the same attitude you would a broken leg. Look after yourself
stressed I too have been where you are - and I work for a family member so there was NO way I could tell him I was depressed - it would have been all round the family network in a flash.
I used to say I had 'lady problems' - no one seemed to want to know any details about those funnily enough
Please do see a GP - those tiny white pills are a miracle for helping you see the wood for the trees and, in my experience only, dont make you feel zombiefied but do help you just see things a bit clearer.
Good luck xx
If your GP was unsympathetic see a different one at the same surgery. I really feel for you OP its so hard and people have such preconceptions. I didnt like telling certain people and am so glad i didn't have to discuss with work. Please make sure you go to GP tomorrow.
Is work the problem? I only ask because when Someone special passed away going to work saved me as I had to think about work iyswim 💐
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