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What frustrates you the most about using a tutor for your child?

(60 Posts)
Joeyhale Mon 30-Oct-17 11:20:11

I'm pretty curious about different people's experiences and avoiding the same problems if possible.

UserX Mon 30-Oct-17 11:26:40

Having to use a tutor at all, I shouldn’t have to fill in the gaps for the school.

grannysmiff Mon 30-Oct-17 11:28:23

The knowledge that I'm propping up a system whereby money buys you an education and a chance at a better life.

Not really, i dont have kids 😁

mumontherun14 Mon 30-Oct-17 11:31:03

I have a tutor for my DD for maths as she was struggling a bit and getting anxious she wasn't keeping up with the class. Had a really good experience the tutor we have is lovely and my daughter's confidence has hugely improved. It's expensive is probably my only gripe as the tutor wants to do an hour and a half to teach a concept then revise it. So I've made it every 2nd week and that seems to be working well. My DD will go to high school next year so I'd like her to be more secure with her maths for that as I know from my older son that the pace at high school is fast x

Fruitcorner123 Mon 30-Oct-17 11:33:05

Im a teacher. It frustrates me that some parents of children who are lazy at school and don't do their homework blame the school instead of supporting the school and pay fortunes for a tutor when if they just backed up the school when their child gets detentions for lack of effort/given extra homework they would likely see an improvement in their child's attainment without the need for a tutor.

Disclaimer: i am not saying this applies to all children with a tutor by the way. Just some.

StewPots Mon 30-Oct-17 11:47:14

For me it's the cost, but DD15 is very keen to be a paramedic so her maths needs to be top notch.

Her old school were positively useless, constant supply teachers that couldn't consistently teach the curriculum (not their fault at all) with no sign of a permanent teacher coming in. This wasn't just in maths but other subjects too, and it was the catalyst for her moving.

She is now much happier in her school, getting consistent and good results, but because of the poor organisation of her old school, DD struggled with maths lessons.

I'm utterly hopeless at maths (I get very confused and frustrated once something goes into multiple figures, find it hard to "read" if that makes sense, have never been mathematically minded, and use a lot of number aids like calculators and Excel to complete day to day financial tasks because I just can't do it) so there's no way I could have got her up to scratch.

So, to the tune of £25 per hour, she's having weekly lessons right up to her GCSEs. She needs to take the higher paper, and her tutor is very confident that she will be able to do this.

Pricey yes, but it will be money well spent if she gets the results she needs. Tutor is also a very friendly guy, who is pushing her just hard enough. DD is very pleased with results so far as am I.

AbbieLexie Mon 30-Oct-17 11:48:26

Tutors were a godsend. Daughter requested a tutor when she was in Primary 3 to help. Tutor's remit was to follow daughter's lead. I had no problem if she wanted to play or talk for the hour. Daughter went with a list of what she wanted help with. Secondary school - 5 tutors - couldn't afford the 6th tutor she wanted. Took foreign language students in to help pay as her father refused to contribute. She was diagnosed with phonetic dyslexia and school learning support wasn't providing support. Thankful I had the room to take students but it was soul destroying at times. Daughter is soaring in her career. I would look for tutor now and have in place and started before school starts. Here - good maths tutor was difficult to find. No encouragement from high school - can drop as she has dyslexia - that was a phrase often repeated to me about different subjects. I felt if she wanted to do it - go for it.

mumontherun14 Mon 30-Oct-17 11:51:15

I think the teaching staff are often thinly stretched though and can't always offer 1 to 1 help. I did ask for it when my DD was crying every morning and she was taken out of class once with a supply teacher . At parents night her old teacher from last year was asking how she was doing and said she'd do the exact same if it was her daughter. My DD is in a class of 25 with a few characters who like to kick off and a new probationary teacher. She always completed her homework every week on time and was certainly not lazy. The tutor has helped her enjoy maths again and be more confident she can solve problems rather than worrying about it all the time. Hopefully she'll only need it for a little while x

OooohHorlicks Mon 30-Oct-17 11:59:05

That she doesn't actually do anything that I couldn't do for my DC if I didn't have to work!

RoseWhiteTips Mon 30-Oct-17 12:36:07


That she doesn't actually do anything that I couldn't do for my DC if I didn't have to work!

Hmm. If the tutor is a qualified teacher and an experienced one, I very much doubt you could do what she does.

RoseWhiteTips Mon 30-Oct-17 12:36:49

I speak as a secondary teacher and a tutor.

arethereanyleftatall Mon 30-Oct-17 12:40:26

That they exist.
Yet another opportunity for rich people to get qualifications they don't merit.

user1487194234 Mon 30-Oct-17 12:43:47

They perpetuate the advantage of kids from a well off background over kids who are not
I care about that but whether I can hold out if my kids need help is doubtful

OooohHorlicks Mon 30-Oct-17 12:51:30

RoseWhiteTips I take your point but for maths, yes I could. Perhaps not all subjects. But by the time I get back in the evening it's too late and weekends are too packed. Holidays are where we try to work through problem areas but it's frustrating for me that on an ongoing basis I can't give them the support that I'd like and that they need.

Joeyhale Mon 30-Oct-17 13:08:54

So I guess expense is the biggest frustration with hiring tutors for those with children?

Joeyhale Mon 30-Oct-17 13:11:41

Any parents with any other frustrations aside from the financial ones? @mumontherun14 you mentioned the time being spent on a topic taking too long? But I guess that still an issue of it costing more money I guess?

theymademejoin Mon 30-Oct-17 13:11:52

The fact that the crappy teachers in school gets the credit for the high results my child achieved in his leaving cert (irish equivalent to A levels). He is very good at Irish but got a really bad teacher so got extra tutoring. He got an A1 (highest mark possible) through his and the tutor's efforts. We also needed a tutor for geography as his teacher refused to review a second draft of the course work, despite originally telling the class she would review 3 drafts. She decided that as not all of the class had submitted the first draft by the deadline that she wouldn't take any more drafts from anyone in the class, despite the majority having the first draft in on time. She also got credit for the good marks the class got. At least 50% had tutoring.

He also went to group classes for English as his amazing English teacher went on maternity leave for his final year and the sub, while ok, wasn't enough as he is not good at English but it's a requirement here to get into university.

I also dislike the fact that it skews the league tables. High ranking generally means middle class families who can afford to pay to compensate for poor teachers.

Joeyhale Mon 30-Oct-17 13:14:29

@RoseWhiteTips, what frustrates you most when it comes to working as a tutor? It's a very interesting discussion, I'm reading articles on it all at the moment. I've got a day off lol.

firawla Mon 30-Oct-17 13:17:10

I used one for a subject that they don’t do at school (a language) but got rid pretty quick as I found the whole experience very disappointing. Particularly - bad time keeping, arriving late and finishing late which affected our evening routine. Then not sticking to the curriculum, trying to make it fun to the extent it wasn’t really educational any more (I can do my own crafts with the kids, I wanted her to work on their reading in that alphabet!), was too expensive, and my dc didn’t engage with the way she was doing it. Also she spelled one of my dc names wrong in that language which didn’t fill me with confidence (there’s only one way to spell it so no excuses!)

That has made me not very keen to use tutors in general. I hope school work plus any reinforcement I do with them at home will be enough

unlimiteddilutingjuice Mon 30-Oct-17 13:18:42

My Mum is a maths tutor. Kids come to her for lots of different reasons:
Some are home schooled or school refusers.
Some are stuck on one concept and once they've had it explained one to one never need a tutor again.
Some have difficulties in a few different areas and need a bit more help.
Some come in ahead of an exam for help revising.
Some come every week to do their homework, for years.

My best tip would be to have a good idea which area's your child needs help with, so that the tutor can focus their time.
Also check in with the child's teacher so that the tutor can support their school learning.

mumontherun14 Mon 30-Oct-17 13:19:07

Why are you asking OP? Are you a tutor or thinking of being one?

Joeyhale Mon 30-Oct-17 13:24:51

@mumontherun14, I'm a junior doctor with a younger brother coming up to GCSEs so not hoping to become a tutor but I am going to pay for some of his lessons and out of sheer curiosity I started this thread. Not really anticipating all the responses.

Acadia Mon 30-Oct-17 13:28:43

That you're secretly a wanker and your kid isn't going to survive at grammar if they can't hack it on their own now.

It's for the most able, not the richest.

Why's he need lessons anyway? Is it a bad school? Couldn't he just work harder like we did in the old days?

Jjou Mon 30-Oct-17 13:33:41

We pay for an 11+ tutor for DD. She'll be one of only 2 or 3 doing the exam in her year; the teacher's time is mostly spent managing behaviour and covering the absolute basics/minimum. She's miles behind where she'd be if she'd gone to a 'better' school.
I hate that this is the reality for all of the kids in their primary. I suspect it's a similar story for a lot of boroughs.

Etymology23 Mon 30-Oct-17 13:33:41

My pet hate when I was tutoring for maths was kids not learning their times tables when they were "aiming" for As (or 7s now).

Yes, you can do them on your calculator. But not in the non-calculator paper. You can't easily sense check answers, and it really really slows you down.

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