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I'm telling him it's over today.

(178 Posts)
bodytrappedmindnotstopped Mon 30-Oct-17 10:34:49

I’m saving me and my DC from this awful situation. Handhold please

MaidOfStars Mon 30-Oct-17 10:37:56

hand
Will you and the children be safe?
Do you have control of your money/documents?
Do you know what you're going to say?

Dashper Mon 30-Oct-17 10:38:08

Well done flowers

Idontevencareanymore Mon 30-Oct-17 10:43:38

Well done and good luck. flowers

bodytrappedmindnotstopped Mon 30-Oct-17 10:44:13

@MaidOfStars We will be safe. I’m going to him Mums when we are home. She knows what he’s like and will ensure my DC are safe even if they have to stay with her for a day or two. I’m not getting into shouting and emotion with him. I’m just telling him I want him to go. No doubt he will tell me I’m ‘mental’ and ‘fucking the kids up’ but I’m going to stand there and take it. I know the truth and I’m not going to engage in discussions. I know I’m doing the right thing. His mood is so volatile and me and my DC are the ones suffering.

Santawontbelong Mon 30-Oct-17 10:44:36

2 hands.
flowers
You can do it op.

bodytrappedmindnotstopped Mon 30-Oct-17 10:45:31

@Santawontbelong Thank you. I need to be strong. I’ve been here before and always been talked into staying. He says he will change but the difference this time is that I know he can’t

NotSureIfiAmWell Mon 30-Oct-17 10:46:41

If he was going to change then he would have by now.

BarryTheKestrel Mon 30-Oct-17 10:47:10

flowers hand hold for you. Well done.

bodytrappedmindnotstopped Mon 30-Oct-17 10:47:45

@NotSureIfiAmWell I know that. He has been given the opportunity twice and it always gets back to this. I’m done

bodytrappedmindnotstopped Mon 30-Oct-17 10:49:27

I want him to move out but no ideas what I’ll do if he says no. He did it last time and we feel fell into the habit of everyday life and got on with things again with nothing resolved.

Greyponcho Mon 30-Oct-17 10:52:01

To kick him out change the locks while he’s out, pack his stuff ready, have the kids at your mums and someone else you trust with you when he comes come - that’s how to kick him out. Why should you leave?
Good luck though - your kids will be glad in the long run flowers

TheWhyteRoseShallRiseAgain Mon 30-Oct-17 10:52:10

Wishing you all the luck in the world flowers

bodytrappedmindnotstopped Mon 30-Oct-17 10:53:09

The closer we get to home the more frightened I’m getting. What do I say to his Mum? How do I start the conversation I’m telling her? (I have no friends or family near- she’s the only one I can go to). Shall I just go and stay with my parents (an hour away and take the DC with me? But what do I do about school and work?

bodytrappedmindnotstopped Mon 30-Oct-17 10:54:16

We are in the car on the way home from a weekend away. He’s with me now but has no idea what I’m feeling.

NotSureIfiAmWell Mon 30-Oct-17 10:55:44

Firstly.... is it a joint home i.e rented or mortgaged?

Givemeallthechocolate Mon 30-Oct-17 10:55:56

I don't know your story, but if you feel it's the right thing, do it.
You sound really scared, no one deserves to be in a relationship where they feel that way.

Good luck.
X

bodytrappedmindnotstopped Mon 30-Oct-17 10:56:27

It’s a rented house in both our names.

gonepottie Mon 30-Oct-17 10:57:56

Big hand hold from me too. I planned to do the same this week. He's not changing sad the old ways are slipping back and I am also done!

Mrskeats Mon 30-Oct-17 10:58:27

Hand here too. You sound as if you have had enough. Be brave and make the leap. Good luck

NotSureIfiAmWell Mon 30-Oct-17 10:59:07

In that case you can't change the locks as he has as much right to live there as you.

All you can do is hope that he will leave amicably and leave his key when he does.

NotSureIfiAmWell Mon 30-Oct-17 10:59:42

How long till your contract.is up?

AnnabellaH Mon 30-Oct-17 11:01:03

flowers op

PumpkinPie2016 Mon 30-Oct-17 11:01:27

Wishing you lots of luck flowers Go to his mum's with your children (and any essentials you can get safely before you go).

Don't worry about how to start the conversation - just say 'I've decided to leave X ' the rest will follow from there.

If you need to collect more things from your home and feel worried about safety - contact the police for assistance.

Good luck - you can do it!

bodytrappedmindnotstopped Mon 30-Oct-17 11:01:56

We rent privately and are on a rolling month contract

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