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To wonder what he would do...?

(51 Posts)
HelloSummerDays Sun 29-Oct-17 21:17:55

The ‘he’ being my husband that is.

I do all the housework (except the rare wash if he specifically wants something that is in the dirty basket and the occasional pot wash) I clean places my husband wouldn’t even think to clean!

I manage all of both of our finances, (he has absolutely no interest in it as long as he has the money he needs for the week / month) I’m pretty certain my husband has no idea what we pay each month and where it goes.

This is not meant to be a husband bashing post - I love my husband dearly, he is very patient, supportive, kind, he will get up and walk to the shop for me at the drop of a hat if I ask, he’s a brilliant father to our son and I wouldn’t swap him if the fittest, most perfect, richest, self sufficient man declares undying eternal love for me...

But I do wonder and worry slightly if I wasn’t around that he wouldn’t have the first clue...

Anyone else?

WorraLiberty Sun 29-Oct-17 21:21:18

I expect he'd grow the fuck up and start taking adult responsibility at last

Why, what do you think he'd do? confused

WorraLiberty Sun 29-Oct-17 21:22:54

And I'm honestly not being unkind here but as a mother of 3 boys, I'm flabberghasted that you think he's a brilliant father to his son, when he's setting such a poor example to him.

HelloSummerDays Sun 29-Oct-17 21:25:46

Will repeat for the hard of hearing.
This. Is. Not. A. Husband. Bashing. Post.

LindyHemming Sun 29-Oct-17 21:28:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoCryLilSoftSoft Sun 29-Oct-17 21:28:13

Before people waste time responding, can you clarify the point of this post? What response will you deem acceptable?

LindyHemming Sun 29-Oct-17 21:28:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Only1scoop Sun 29-Oct-17 21:29:39


Stop doing it allfor a while so he can get into the swing of things. It will do heaps for your piece of mind and hopefully today can share the chores. Why does it all come down to you?

Inig0M0nt0ya Sun 29-Oct-17 21:31:01

Would he take on a share of household and financial responsibilities at the drop of a hat too?

He sounds like a prince among men, you're lucky to have him. hmm

VladmirsPoutine Sun 29-Oct-17 21:33:57

So what do you want people to tell you?

Your H is having his cake and eating it. In fact to ruin the metaphor, he's having his cake baked to his personal requirements and served to him just as he'd like it. Because you enable that.

Either you tell him to start behaving like the adult he is, and indeed respect the equal partnership in the marriage you share or you reconsider or you put up and shut up.

Sayhellotothelittlefella Sun 29-Oct-17 21:34:05

Actually it is a very real issue that in couples where one has no idea about family finances that they end up in real difficulty should the other pass away. They don't know their various providers or with whom they may have savings accounts, pension companies. Passwords for payment sites etc. I would be sitting him down for a chat

WorraLiberty Sun 29-Oct-17 21:34:11

Will repeat for the hard of hearing
This. Is. Not. A. Husband. Bashing. Post

So what sort of replies do you want?

"Oh tee hee, those men what are they like? They need us wimmen to take care of them, don't they?"

"My Husband just doesn't see the mess"

"My Husband just can't work the washing machine"

That sort of bollocks?

AnneLovesGilbert Sun 29-Oct-17 21:34:48

How did he keep himself, his clothes and his home clean before he had you to do it for him?

It's not just what he'd do if you died. What would happen if you were injured or ill and out of action?

Do you want your son to be entirely reliant on a woman to take care of him when he grows up because he's seen his father is incapable and that's what he's learnt?

bingbongnoise Sun 29-Oct-17 21:35:02

Urgh the 'he's a brilliant dad' chestnut! Does my head in that does.

No matter what a shitty husband a man is, how useless or lazy or pathetic they are, even if they are emotionally abusive, passive aggressive, don't speak to their wife/partner for a day, throw strops at nothing, spend all the family money, piss off to the pub for 5 hours a night; they are always a good dad!

OP, you ARE bashing your husband. What on earth do you think you're doing if not that?! confused

Misspollyhadadollie Sun 29-Oct-17 21:35:24


WhatWouldLeslieKnopeDo Sun 29-Oct-17 21:37:08

Is everyone just meant to reply about how hilarious and cute it is that he is so hapless? Because it's not hilarious or cute.

In answer to your question presumably he'd struggle a lot without you. Maybe he would learn to do these things, or probably more likely rely on female relatives and/or a new partner.

WillowWeeping Sun 29-Oct-17 21:37:11

Posters aren't bashing your DH they're bashing you for being pathetic enough to put up with him.

thatdearoctopus Sun 29-Oct-17 21:39:30

So you're expecting some other poor sap to turn up here and "lol" at your bloke being a "typical man?"

Sorry. Can't oblige. I just despair that there are a) still men out there in 2017 who behave like this and b) women who enable them whilst praising them for being "fantastic dads."

I think you were intending for this to be light-hearted. I'm sad that you can even think so.

BenLui Sun 29-Oct-17 21:41:29

If you disappeared tomorrow he’d manage just fine.

He’s a reasonably intelligent adult. Housework is not rocket science and oresumyhe managed to pay his own bills before you got together.

bingbongnoise Sun 29-Oct-17 21:43:24

Yep men can do all kinds of shit. They won't do it as long as wifey does it all though.

Oysterbabe Sun 29-Oct-17 21:48:26

He isn't a brilliant dad. Children watch and they learn.

FenceSitter01 Sun 29-Oct-17 21:52:34

In the real world, the one outside internet forums, it is normal for people to have joint accounts with one person doing the over all control of them, normally the woman. Man works, man hands money to wife, wife spends money, wife gives husband golf/petrol/beer money. Man knows wife is penny wise and pound conscious and makes all decisions.

Of all our very large extended social group, I only know one couple where he controls his own money - but he's a control freak - and all of my parents generation worked their finances like this.

AnathemaPulsifer Sun 29-Oct-17 21:53:37

He's a bloody genius, he gets you to do everything for him and merely muse lightheartedly about it.

If you weren't around he'd apply his genius to the essentials of running a house until he lined up the next slave.

BewareOfTheToddler Sun 29-Oct-17 21:57:38

Probably one of two things:

A) He'd crack on with it like most people have to, and manage just fine, perhaps with a few hiccups.

B) He'd find another mug woman to take on all the house hell responsibilities. (My pet theory, after rebound-itis, for why so many men end up in new relationships so soon after the previous one ended hmm)

tigerdriverII Sun 29-Oct-17 21:57:46


What a load of bollocks.

In your dreams, sonny boy

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