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AIBU?

If there's not enough food for everyone you don't choose favourites?

391 replies

apintofmilk · 29/10/2017 19:03

I may well be being unreasonable. But I'm due a period and grumpy and hormonal. Oh and dieting.
So we went to my mums for roast dinner tonight. She knows I'm on a diet and I've been really good all week so I can enjoy a naughty home cooked roast which I've said numerous times.
Anyway we all sat down and my mum said "this ones apintofmilk's". I thought nothing of it until the end of the meal when I see my husband, sister and her husband all appear to have stuffing balls AND Yorkshire puddings on their plate and the other 3 adults (my mum dad and me) and 2 kids (too little to have stuffing to be honest) do not.
So I got a bit pissy and asked why and was told that there wasn't enough for everyone so they weren't bothered re not having any and they decided out of everyone else that I should go without. I said "well did you not think of halving Yorkshire puddings, or giving one person stuffing and one yorkshires" and they just answered "no".
I went mad. I just feel like I'm constantly bottom of the pile and was fucking annoyed they thought I should be the one to go without (not to drip feed my sister is also on a diet as we go together so nothing to do with me dieting).
Surely if you don't have enough food for all your guests then everyone should go without and they could have had the stuffing balls and yorkshires mid week on their own.
Also fuming that they tried to hide it from me and didn't explain at the start, they just tried to be sneaky and hoped I didn't notice.
Please tell me I'm not being unreasonable. I know how lucky I am that I even have a family that invite us to dinner etc etc. But tonight really fucking annoyed me.

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Squirmy65ghyg · 29/10/2017 19:13

Massive over reaction.

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honeylulu · 29/10/2017 19:14

Why did you only notice at the end of the meal? Surely they'd have eaten it by then anyway?
If it had been me I would have noticed and got my husband to share his with me.

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LemonShark · 29/10/2017 19:15

Yeah you are being massively unreasonable. You'd literally rather nobody have an item if not everyone can have one? That level of sense of 'injustice' and emotion about a roast potato normally wears off around primary school time 😂

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BabyLord · 29/10/2017 19:15

Unless theres a huge bizarre back story, yeah I think you've really overreacted.

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PinkHeart5914 · 29/10/2017 19:17

Why does being ‘hormonal’ somehow excuse your massive over reaction?

Yabu You massively over reacted to not having a stuffing ball and a Yorkshire Confused

Maybe go and have a lie down, hopefully your wake up in a better mood

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apintofmilk · 29/10/2017 19:17

I didn't notice until the end as I was feeding the kids. But surely if they'd come out at the start of the meal and said "we've got stuffing and yorkshires but not enough for everyone so can you sort it out amongst yourselves" then that would have been fine. I could have had a Yorkshire, someone else could have had stuffing, someone else could have had one of each etc. But why choose 3 people to have them and then decide I should be the one who goes without.

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Oly5 · 29/10/2017 19:20

Yanbu. I agree that they should have shared the food out more fairly.

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Xeneth88 · 29/10/2017 19:20

Massive over reaction. YABU.

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NoSquirrels · 29/10/2017 19:21

Well, in that situation the hosts should go without, really, so I'm on your side.

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LovingLola · 29/10/2017 19:21

And as for 'being good' all week and then have a 'naughty' roast dinner...
What's with the good and naughty?? Is a naughty roast dinner the same as a cheeky roast dinner?

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LadyWire · 29/10/2017 19:21

YANBU. I would be LIVID if someone else had a yorkie and I didn't!

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LineysRun · 29/10/2017 19:21

Your parents cooked three yorkshires and three stuffing balls? How very frugal.

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Wightintheghoulies · 29/10/2017 19:22

I can see why you're annoyed. I used to have the opposite problem - my family used to treat me like a food dumping ground so any 'extras' were put on my plate. Then was subjected to passive jokes about being bigger than the rest of them Hmm. I agree it was rude, not a polite way to treat guests, even if it family.

However, 'going mad' was not the best reaction. They had at least been kind enough to provide you with a meal, and you quite possibly embarrassed them. With all due respect, how are you dieting? If you're denying yourself any treat during the week just to wait on one Sunday dinner, then 'fuming' when it's not the full thing, perhaps re-evaluate your food plan? It's not ok to get 'mad' over food really.

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MrTurtleLikesKisses · 29/10/2017 19:22

She knows I'm on a diet

Well, there you go then.**

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apintofmilk · 29/10/2017 19:22

Thank you @Oly5 !!! Or even if they'd said "well you and your sister are family so you can go without" and just given them to the husbands who are treated like guests rather than family. I'm just annoyed that I was singled out and no one else.
Basically I had a plate of chicken and boiled veg when everyone else got a nice roast dinner.

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LineysRun · 29/10/2017 19:23

Tell us more about the bit where you went mad. Please.

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Whinesalot · 29/10/2017 19:24

It's not a massive overreaction. I think it's wrong to do this and even more wrong to try to be sneaky about it.
I'd be upset too op. It is showing favorites or some other dysfunctional reason.

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apintofmilk · 29/10/2017 19:25

Apparently there were 3 stuffing balls and 3 yorkshires that needed eating in the freezer. And it's not about me dieting, my sister is following the same diet.
Basically I've saved my syns all week to cover proper roast potatoes, a Yorkie and stuffing. So I've been healthy all week until today. On the plus side I can now have a glass of wine with those syns.

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Smartiepants79 · 29/10/2017 19:25

Sounds more like she was trying to support you in your diet??
She had the same as you.
I can't really see why you would 'go mad'. Huge over-reaction.
Why did you not just ask your HUSBAND to share his??

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Whinesalot · 29/10/2017 19:26

How did they justify it anyway?

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apintofmilk · 29/10/2017 19:27

I only saw his yorkie right at the end as he saves his favourite bits til last on his plate.
I said "have you got a Yorkshire?" And he replied don't even think about it. Then I looked over at my sister and her husband and they had Yorkies and stuffing.
So I basically said I was always at the bottom of the fucking pile and sick of getting treated differently.

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apintofmilk · 29/10/2017 19:28

So I'm pissed off with my husband too don't worry. Fucking selfish family.

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Wightintheghoulies · 29/10/2017 19:28

Oh lord, 'syns'. No wonder you're so grumpy, seriously there's better ways to change your eating habits. If you 'save up' all week for 'treats' then you're just making life a big disappointment.

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Nomorechickens · 29/10/2017 19:28

Yanbu to be annoyed and kick up a fuss.
Yabu to have not checked everyone's plate at the beginning to make sure you were getting your fair share.
I bet you won't be making that mistake again.
Sounds like your folks might need some help dishing up in future!

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kmc1111 · 29/10/2017 19:29

Well to start with YABU for telling them numerous times about how you can eat a roast because you've been 'good' all week. No one wants to hear dull diet talk, let alone repeatedly.

Honestly that's probably why they thought it would be fine to leave you out. If you make a massive production of being on a diet, people will treat you like you're on a diet and not load you up with unhealthy foods. But whatever the reason, you massively overreacted.

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